Category: Reviews

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End of the Year Wrap-Up

It was an interesting year for horror films in 2022. We got a few new classics, a few surprises, and two of the biggest franchise disappointments in recent years. We also got a glut of high-profile but incredibly mediocre films from critical darling directors. Here’s a quick wrap-up of the horror titles I was able to watch.

Honorable Mentions

BARBARIAN The best horror film of the year, Barbarian is a breath of fresh air. Funny, suspenseful, topical, and, most importantly, unpredictable, the movie succeeds in an area where so many have failed: it’s all about the strong, well-written characters. Fast-moving and exciting, Barbarian is classic horror storytelling without having to resort to cheap theatrics or media hype. A–

THE BLACK PHONE After dabbling in the Marvel Cinematic Universe with Doctor Strange, Scott Derrickson returned to horror with this terrific ghostly tale of a kidnapped 13-year-old who must communicate with the spirits of his captor’s previous victims in order to escape. As with Sinister, Derrickson delivers a strong story, smart characters, and an intense climax. B+

SMILE Smile is the kind of slow-burn horror tale that never grows old. While investigating the gruesome death of her patient, a psychiatrist uncovers a supernatural plot that literally gets under its victims skin and drives them to the brink of sanity – and suicide. Much like The Ring, Smile‘s story is structured as a mystery, building to a nerve-jangling resolution that’s both bleak and honest. B+

X Having been a fan of director Ti West since 2009’s House of the Devil, it was a pleasure to see him grow into the mature filmmaker he is today, and X is his best work yet. A small group of people looking to break into the porn biz during the turbulent time of ’79 unknowingly walk into hell in the form of an elderly farmer and his unstable wife. A witty, scary slow-burn into madness, X will leave you smiling for many reasons. B+

(Dis)honorable Mentions

SCREAM It was only a matter of time until Scream lost sight of its core and adapted the silliness of its self-referential movie-within-a-movie Stab series. As with most franchises nowadays, the new Scream goes backwards by introducing new characters related to the originals and creating an overly complicated web of relatives and suspects, and – just like the first movie – it all climaxes at Stu Macher’s old house. Neve Campbell is always lovely, but she, along with Courtney Cox, are pushed to the side in a scare-free plot that rarely makes sense. Flat and empty. D+

NOPE Critics can’t seem to praise Jordon Peele enough, even giving this borefest rave reviews, despite the fact it rips off Close Encounters of the Third Kind without attaining any of that classic’s energy and awe-inspiring chills. Instead Nope offers a story about horse breeders trying to catch a UFO on film for fame and fortune, an interesting premise that’s unfortunately swallowed in humdrum character arcs and a massively pointless subplot that’s nothing more than the product of over-indulgent filmmaking. D

TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE In the history of bad sequels, there has never been one quite as horrendous as the new Texas Chainsaw (that is until Halloween Ends). Limping along like a zombie looking for brains, the new Massacre is devoid of plot, character, personality, and energy – it’s a dumb byproduct that feels so disingenuous to the original, one wonders if the writers actually paid attention to Tobe Hooper’s masterwork. The return of Final Girl Sally Hardesty smacks of desperation, and when Leatherface is about to chainsaw her, she asks him to say her name. When at any moment did Bubba actually speak, and why would he know her name? D–

HALLOWEEN ENDS After a rough start with the 2018 Halloween reboot, followed by a spike in creativity with the energetic Halloween Kills, the newest, and allegedly last, chapter in the Michael Myers saga is a sucker punch to the gut. Lacking any shred of suspense or story fluidity, Halloween Ends removes everything that made the earlier Halloween movies work so well – even eliminating MM for most of the movie! – replacing those elements with a needless and boring “doomed romance” subplot involving characters you couldn’t care less about. The worst. F

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Halloween Ends (Badly)

By Frank Pittarese

Here’s what happens: Completely disregarding her emotional and mental state of the previous films — and despite the brutal murder of her daughter —  Laurie Strode is living a happy, pie-making suburban life in Haddonfield, with her Awful Granddaughter, Allyson. Meanwhile, troubled misfit Corey Cunningham encounters Michael Myers, and after some true nonsense happens, is lead down a dark (and muddled) path as Michael’s…apprentice? Amidst CW-style romance, shoddy internal continuity, and happenings that make Riverdale seem plausible, the filmmakers remember that Michael Myers is why we’re here, and quickly shoehorn him into a proactive role in the final act for a showdown with Laurie. Nothing makes sense. The end.

This long review will be FULL OF SPOILERS; there’s no way around it. Scroll on, if you like. Or, for your spoiler-free pleasure: Grade D-

I have conflicted feelings about Halloween (2018) and Halloween Kills, but taken on their own merits — which itself takes an effort — they’re decent, fine-for-a-thrill movies. Halloween Ends, taken on its own merits, is a disaster. Undoing whatever good will they’ve established in the previous two movies, director David Gordon Green and his too-large-to-function writing team have spun a story that plays out like a cinematic head injury. Things don’t track from the previous films, which is bad enough, but the body of this movie itself is, largely, incoherent.

The previous two entries in this cycle firmly established certain things:

-Laurie, irreparably traumatized, was obsessed with the idea of Michael Myers, to the point of living in a homemade, booby-trapped, armed fortress.

-The town of Haddonfield was still mourning the deaths of four (FOUR) people, some forty years prior.

-Michael’s return to Haddonfield was the fault of his evil doctor.

-The more Michael kills, the stronger he gets.

-Michael killed people with a personal connection to Laurie: Chief Brackett, Tommy Doyle, her son-in-law, Ray, and, ultimately, Laurie’s own daughter, Karen. Michael also slaughtered at least thirty people in 2018, including an entire fire brigade and a massive number of average citizens.

Those aren’t things I’ve fan-wanked. Those are things the creators TOLD us and SHOWED us.

So what does Halloween Ends do? It’s says “Fuck that. Fuck ALL of that!” In this one…

-Laurie, despite the death of her own daughter and friends, is happily living a trauma-free life, literally carving out Halloween pumpkins to celebrate the holiday. HALLOWEEN PUMPKINS. On the anniversary of her loved one’s murders. For 40 years, Michael sat in prison and this woman built herself a high-security, weaponized hideout. Now, she knows he’s on the loose and she’s baking pies. This is not a fake-out. There’s no secret armory in the basement. Her daughter died, Mike’s in the wind, and after some lip service about “therapy,” Laurie has, in this reboot series, been rebooted, herself.

-Haddonfield mourned Michael’s handful of victims from 1978, but the thirty from 2018? Firefighters torn to shreds? Eh, it’s been four years. Never mind them. Life is back to normal. Let’s dance.

-Laurie, for some reason, is blamed by the general public and by her own Awful Granddaughter for Michael’s 2018 return, DESPITE EVERYONE KNOWING IT WAS HIS EVIL DOCTOR — including Awful Granddaughter, whom said evil doctor trapped with Michael in the back of a police car. But sure…blame Laurie.

-Michael, despite slaying an entire mob of people with superhuman strength at the end of Halloween Kills, is now weak and feeble. Homeboy is living Pennywise-style in the Haddonfield sewers. But they TOLD us in the previous movie that killing makes him stronger. That’s what we SAW. He should be fine. He should be ROBUST. But the creators are stupid and/or lazy. They need Michael weak to boost Corey Cunningham’s storyline.

Oy…Corey Cunningham…

Corey is a poor soul who, in a 2019 cold-open, accidentally killed the obnoxious kid he was babysitting. Corey encounters Michael Myers in his sewer hideaway (long story), and when Michael tries to strangle Corey, Myers apparently sees into Corey’s mind, witnesses his memories, and lets him go! But Corey is changed. Corey is now (psychically?) “infected” by evil. Seemingly now-channeling Michael, he wanders through town in a scarecrow mask, killing bullies and/or anyone else he encounters. At one point, he even brings Michael a victim, like Slasher Seamless. Later, Corey beats up Michael(!) and steals HIS mask(!!) before running off to kill Laurie(!!!). This is enough for Michael to remember that he’s in this story, and he just shows up out of nowhere to fight Laurie himself.

(BTW, Corey is dating Laurie’s Awful Granddaughter, who is one of the worst characters in the entire franchise. I’d sit through yet another sequel if it meant seeing her get eaten by alligators.)

It’s just…it’s a vomit of randomness. It plods on for two hours with no focus at all; or rather, a misplaced focus. There’s no atmosphere or tension. There’s no POINT except for some psychobabble about evil-as-contagion. It’s like when you get hired for a job and say, “Yeah, I know Excel.” But you don’t know Excel, so you fake it till you can learn it. That’s what the writing on this movie is like. They fake it, but they never learn it.

This could and should have been a straightforward Laurie vs. Michael story. After what happened, it’s only natural that Laurie would want revenge. (The Extended Cut of Halloween Kills literally ends with Laurie storming out of the hospital and saying, “I’m coming, Michael,” but I guess she ran out of gas). Plus, Lindsey Wallace, played by a returning Kyle Richards, is RIGHT THERE, with a personal investment, but she has maybe ten lines, total. Imagine Laurie and Lindsey, two strong women, legit survivors of “The Night HE Came Home,” hunting down the guy that so horrifically impacted their lives… That’s all the story we want. That’s all the story we NEED.

But nope. We’ve got Brady Bunch Laurie, a Mini-Me Michael, some hullaballoo about “evil infections” in a film that feels like it was directed by eight people and written round-robin-style on a drunken road trip. “You write a scene, and YOU write a scene, and YOU write a scene!!” They were so busy circle-jerking that Michael actually only kills three people himself in the whole, two-hour movie. Three. And there’s STILL no sign of Ben Tramer.

The positives are sparse. The cold open makes a fun, gruesome short story. Rohan Campbell’s Corey is very endearing and likable (before they ruin him with that dumb mind-link). The fact that it’s so astonishingly messy almost makes it watchable. My investment in the Halloween franchise is low (Friday the 13th is my jam), and at least this was better than the terrible Halloween: Resurrection, and there are a few decently gory kills. And the “ends” part of Halloween Ends is accurate. It does feel like it’s legitimately over. Oh, they’ll make five more in my lifetime, no doubt, but unless there’s another retcon, we DO get closure.

But for actual closure, in a well-told, logical story, watch H20. It outshines Ends by miles.

Final thoughts: This movie is the end of a 40-year-old narrative, the conclusion to Laurie’s traumatic struggle which David Gordon Green repeatedly underscored in his own first two films. He had a creative obligation to the fans here. It’s not some five-year-old trilogy that he created (in that case, go ahead, dude, do as you please). Tell the story, finish the story, but don’t abandon the story — which is exactly what he did. Narratives have structure. Objectively, editorially, he failed. As a conclusion to a trilogy, as a wrap-up to events HE put forth, he failed. No matter how enjoyable some people are finding this film (and hooray to those who like it; I’m happy for you), Green just plain dropped the ball by being self-indulgent.

Grade (and thanks for reading if you got this far): D–

But it’s so, sooooo dancing on the edge of an F.

Frank Pittarese is a long-time comic book editor and Brooklyn native. You can follow him on Instagram and Twitter.

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Spotlight: V/H/S

V/H/S (2012) The first of the low-fi found footage anthology series offers five unsettling tales of terror from a handful of filmmakers, including Ti West and Adam Wingard. A group of petty criminals are hired to break into a remote house and steal a VHS tape, the contents of which are unknown. In doing so, they uncover a stash of tapes and watch several. Tape 1 (“Amateur Night”) offers the best segment, in which a trio of partying bro-types pick-up a mysterious woman at a bar and bring her back to their hotel room for sex only to discover that she’s an inhuman creature. Tape 2 (“Second Honeymoon”) is a slow burn featuring a couple encountering a strange woman while on a road trip, while Tape 3 (“Tuesday the 17th”) offers up old school slicing and dicing as some horny teens are stalked by a supernatural killer. The goosebump-inducing Tape 4 (“The Sick Thing That Happened to Emily When She Was Younger”) presents a clever webcam tale where a young woman seeks advice from her med school boyfriend while being bombarded by ghostly activity. The fun final segment (“10/31/98”) has a quartet of friends invited to a Halloween party where they stumble upon a Satanic ritual. Although not all of the tales are perfect – West’s second chapter could have benefited from a more satisfying outcome – they are entertaining and never dull. The filmmakers also understand how to use the found footage gimmick to their advantage by creating genuinely chilling moments of dread mixed with real-world scenarios. B+

V/H/S/2 (2013) In a sequel filled with surprises, V/H/S/2 has the distinction of being a rare follow-up that’s actually better than the original. A slimy P.I. looking for a missing college student discovers a collection of VHS tapes in the student’s house and watches them. “Phase I Clinical Trials” presents old school haunted house chills, with a man (director Adam Wingard) seeing ghostly visitors at his home after undergoing an experimental eye transplant. A bicyclist inadvertently rides into a zombie invasion in the gory and funny “A Ride in the Park,” directed by Eduardo Sánchez and Gregg Hale. A documentary crew doing a film on a secretive Indonesian cult step into literal hell in Gareth Evan’s and Timo Tjahjanto’s thrilling “Safe Haven.” A group of teens are terrorized by an alien attack during a sleepover in the terrific wrap-up, “Slumber Party Alien Abduction,” a small piece of brilliant found footage perfection by Jason Eisener. Tighter-paced and jam-packed with visual details and humor, V/H/S/2 offers the same story structure as V/H/S, but as with the best of sequels it respects the format while offering fresh ideas and highly inventive gags. All of the tales work, but the standout is “Safe Haven,” a gory, intense knockout which deserves its own movie. The best in the series so far. A–

V/H/S: VIRAL (2014) A mysterious ice cream truck broadcasting an unknown cell transmission, which causes people to act violently, is the framing story for the third V/H/S outing, an unfortunate downgrade in quality. The stories (shortened to three segments) don’t seem to connect to the wrap-around at all, creating a lack in structural rhythm that the first two V/H/S films had. A white trash magician (Justin Welborn) discovers a demonic cloak that grants him the ability to create real magic, but at a sinister cost. A scientist (Gustavo Salmerón), who creates a doorway to a parallel universe, swaps places with himself and finds out the other side is not exactly the same. A group of annoying skater punks fight for their lives against a swarm of undead cultists in the final video. Lacking scares and any shred of suspense, Viral feels more like a cheap rip-off than an actual sequel, especially coming on the heels of the excellent V/H/S/2. The second tale, “Parallel Monsters,” offers some interesting ideas and is the best directed of the lot (by Spanish filmmaker Nacho Vigalondo, Timecrimes), while the last, “Bonestorm,” is lazy and overstays its welcome. The first story, “Dante the Great,” uses several scenes of non-POV framing, putting a serious dent in the whole found footage packaging. Did the director (Gregg Bishop) forget the point of the movie’s title? C–

V/H/S/94 (2021) A return to form, V/H/S/94 brings back the scares and humor that were sorely missing from Viral. Believing they’re participating in a drug raid, a S.W.A.T. team instead discovers a large warehouse filled with the corpses of what appears to have been the mass murder site of a cult-like group that worshipped violent videocassettes. “Storm Drain” is a terrific way to open the movie, with news footage of a journalist (Anna Hopkins) whose investigation of a local urban legend called the Rat Man takes her too close to the gruesome truth. The creepy “The Empty Wake” is a video of a young woman (Kyal Legend) hired to host the wake for a man who isn’t as dead as she’s been told. “The Subject” presents more bloody mayhem by director Timo Tjahjanto (“Safe Haven” from V/H/S/2) as a deranged surgeon (Budi Ross) performs diabolical human experiments in order to create the perfect robot/human killing machine. The last story, “Terror,” is the strongest in the movie and best utilizes the found footage style the series is built on: a backwoods terrorist group plan on using their vampire prisoner, whose blood violently explodes in direct sunlight, as a weapon to blow up a government building. As with the best of the V/H/S films, 94 is creepy, funny, gory, and brings a freshness to the found footage arena. B+

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Satanists, Witches, and Bloodthirsty Hippies

One of the better post-Exorcist Satanic chillers of the mid-70s is definitely 1975’s RACE WITH THE DEVIL. Sort of a hybrid car chase thriller and occult horror, the film focuses on friends and business partners, Frank (Warren Oates) and Roger (Peter Fonda), who own a successful motorcycle dealership in Texas. Going on a skiing vacation with their wives, Alice (Loretta Swit) and Kelly (Lara Parker – Angelique on Dark Shadows), Frank and Roger decide to drive an RV up to Aspen, Colorado, and on the way stop in the country for some motorbike racing fun.

While Roger and Frank ride around the open fields on their bikes, Kelly and Alice take in the scenery, with Kelly’s dog, Ginger, acting particularly aggressive. Later that night, while Alice and Kelly are readying for bed, Roger and Frank spot a bonfire in the distance. Upon taking a closer look, they witness a large group of people in cloaks and masks dancing around the fire. Thinking it’s some kind of hippie orgy, the men soon realize it’s something much more sinister when this Satanic cult strips a young woman nude and stabs her to death right in front of Frank and Roger’s eyes.

Making a run for it, the two couples are pursed by the cultists, several of whom jump onto the RV and break the windows. Barely making it out alive, Roger and Co. drive to the local police station, where Sheriff Taylor (R.G. Armstrong) takes Roger and Frank back to the scene of the crime. There, they find blood and evidence of a camp fire; Frank also discovers the mutilated corpse of a dog hung from a tree. Meanwhile back at the RV, Kelly finds a strange note written in weird symbols stuck to the back of the vehicle. When Alice deciphers the note from a library book as having something to do with Satanic magic, she and the rest decide to head to the nearest city to seek outside help.

When Frank and the gang are nearly killed by a couple of rattlesnakes hiding in their RV, they burn rubber outta there only to be followed – and terrorized – by the locals, who try their best to kill them before they reach help.

A fun and surprisingly suspenseful little flick, Race with the Devil is exploitation at its best. Using the best elements from movies like Gone in 60 Seconds and Brotherhood of Satan, Race blends the genres extremely well and creates a fast-moving story that works on all levels. The cast is good, especially Fonda, whose Roger is sort of a domesticated version of Wyatt from Easy Rider.

If you like exploitation revenge movies with lots of cheesy gore and naked hippies, you’ll love the 1970 cult classic, I DRINK YOUR BLOOD. Late at night in the woods, Horace Bones (Bhasker Roy Chowdhury), leader of a Satanic cult, performs a ritualistic sacrifice of a chicken while surrounded by his naked followers. When Sylvia, a teenager who lives in the nearby town of Valley Hills, witnesses this act she’s caught by the cult, beaten, and raped.

Sylvia wanders into town the next morning in serious condition, and her grandfather, veterinarian Doc Banner (Richard Bowler), and younger brother, Pete (Riley Mills), are unsure of what to do. Mildred (Elizabeth Marner-Brooks), who owns the town bakery where Pete works, seeks the help of her boyfriend, Roger (John Damon). Roger is a construction worker who’s working on a dam project that has forced most of Valley Hill to relocate, creating a ghost town. When Horace gets wind of Valley Hill’s abandonment, he and his cult members decide to take up residence in one of the empty houses. Doc Banner learns of the cult’s squatting and goes to confront them with a shotgun, only to get himself beaten and drugged with LSD.

At his wit’s end, young Pete takes matters into his own hands by seeking revenge on the cult. The next morning two of the Satanists stop by Mildred’s bakery and purchase meat pies to take back to their house – unaware that the night before, Pete killed a rabid dog and mixed contaminated blood into the pies. It isn’t long until the cult members begin showing signs of infection, and things get worse when one of them sneaks away and has sex with several of the nearby construction men. Soon Horace, his followers, and the construction men become foaming madmen, turning the small town into a bloodbath of violent mayhem.

If you took Night of the Living Dead, blended it with The Crazies, and injected it with adrenaline, you’d get I Drink Your Blood. The film doesn’t apologize for being anything other than a twisted, gory, fast-paced orgy of outrageous violence. The plot is threadbare and the characters would be home in a Bugs Bunny cartoon, but, as with the best of loony B-movies, I Drink Your Blood is high-grade cheesy fun.

On a much more subtle level is the 1966 UK chiller, THE WITCHES. After suffering from a nervous breakdown as the result of being terrorized by local witch practitioners while working in Africa, schoolteacher Gwen Mayfield (Joan Fontaine) relocates to the isolated British village of Heddaby. There, she’s hired by Reverend Alan Bax (Alec McCowen) to teach at the local schoolhouse. Gwen is quickly befriended by many of the townsfolk, including Alan’s sister, Stephanie (Kay Walsh), a headstrong journalist.

When Gwen’s eldest students, Ronnie (Martin Stephens) and Linda (Ingrid Boulting), begin a harmless romance, it causes a stir in town for reasons Gwen can’t understand. Gwen is later informed that Linda’s grandmother is rumored to be a witch and becomes suspicious that the woman is doing Linda harm. When Ronnie mysteriously becomes gravely ill, and Gwen discovers a makeshift voodoo doll of a boy with pins stuck in it, she begins to suspect Linda’s grandmother has cursed Ronnie. Gwen’s investigation eventually uncovers a hidden cult within the town, a cult dabbling in an ancient witchcraft that can grant immortality in exchange for a human sacrifice.

Made by Hammer Films and written by acclaimed screenwriter Nigel Kneale, The Witches manages to cast an eerie spell through most of its runtime. As the film’s protagonist, Fontaine is her usual sympathetic self, and she and Walsh have excellent chemistry together. The beautiful British countryside setting gives the movie a sense of otherworldly, organic magic that’s a nice juxtaposition to the story’s bleak themes. Although, in the end, I was expecting something a little juicer and more dramatic, especially during the rushed, anticlimactic ending. | I Drink Your Blood and Race with the Devil: B+ The Witches: B–

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32 Years Later and Tremors is Still the Best Monster Movie Ever

Tremors, 1990

There isn’t a more perfect monster movie than 1990’s TREMORS. In the small, geographically isolated town of Perfection Valley, just outside of the Sierra Nevada mountains, people and animals start turning up dead – not just dead, but torn to pieces. While trying to change their unfulfilled lives by leaving town, best buds and all-around handymen, Val (Kevin Bacon) and Earl (Fred Ward), stumble upon a couple of murdered road workers just outside of Perfection and head back to warn their friends. Soon they, along with spunky seismology student, Rhonda (Finn Carter), discover that the recent string of deaths were caused by giant, worm-like creatures that travel underground. The trio try to seek help, only to realize the monsters have trapped them in Perfection.

Having to fend for themselves, Val, Earl, Rhonda, and a handful of residents arm themselves with guns, thanks to local married couple and hardcore survivalists, Burt (Michael Gross) and Heather (Reba McEntire). Rhonda eventually figures out the creatures can only move through the loose valley soil, attracted to their prey by vibrations and sound. As the animals – dubbed “graboids” – slowly tear the town to shreds, Earl gets the idea of using a nearby bulldozer to carry everyone safely to the mountains. But when the graboids wise up, it puts a damper on the humans’ plans just as they’re about to reach safety.

What sets Tremors apart from the glut of similarly-themed Weird Monster Movies is its pitch perfect script by S.S. Wilson, Brent Maddock, and director Ron Underwood. Seamlessly blending comedy and suspense, the film is impeccably designed to work on all levels, and in doing so creates a truly original and infectiously fun movie. The awesome cast undeniably heightens the story, as the actors make the characters their own, including Bacon, Ward, Carter, and especially Gross who steals all his scenes as the know-it-all but lovable Burt. Everyone works well together and has great chemistry, making many of the scenes more intense – these are characters you don’t want to get eaten! As with the best of genre movies, you want to be a part of this world, even if that means being chased by mutant, underground worms.

But what really makes Tremors stand head-and-shoulders above the rest is its endless energy; from beginning to end the film doesn’t have a dull or needless moment. Everything about it works, including the authentic excitement the viewer feels when the monsters break out from underground and set their bloodthirsty tentacles on unsuspecting would-be victims. Underwood keeps the monster attacks tight and thrilling with lightening-quick pacing and unpredictable moments.

A quartet of college friends seeking last minute fun on their sun-filled vacation get more than they bargained for in the 2008 survival shocker, THE RUINS. On their final days at a Mexican resort, two couples, Jeff (Jonathan Tucker) and Amy (Jena Malone), and Eric (Shawn Ashmore) and Stacy (Laura Ramsey), are invited by friendly German tourist, Mathias (Joe Anderson), to check out uncharted Mayan ruins. While Amy wants to be lazy in the hotel before their flight home the next day, pre-med student, Jeff, wants to soak in some local culture, so the four join Mathias on his adventure.

After trekking through thick jungle, the group arrives at a pyramid-like structure covered in weird, green vines. Thinking they’ve hit pay dirt, the friends are shocked when they’re surrounded by hostile locals who threaten them with violence, refusing to let them leave the ruins. Jeff and company are forced to the top of the pyramid while the locals keep guard at the bottom. It’s at the top of the mysterious structure that they find several desiccated bodies wrapped in the green vines, as well as an entryway inside the building. Very quickly, the desperate gang discovers the plants covering the structure are alive and thirsty for blood.

A rather silly premise works well here, thanks to tight direction from Carter Smith, and a suspenseful screenplay adapted by Scott Smith from his own novel. The characters seem real and their plight is handled well by the cast, including Tucker and Malone, both of whom are sympathetic and tough. Credit should be given to Smith for not shying away from the red stuff and delivering some truly cringeworthy moments of self-mutilation.

If you like boats, underwater monsters, and gore, then you’ll love 1998’s DEEP RISING. Sort of a hybrid of Die Hard and Aliens, the movie introduces us to a boatload of mercenaries being taken by hired driver, Finnegan (Treat Williams), to some remote islands in the South China Sea. Finnegan’s nosy mechanic, Joey (Kevin J. O’Connor), stumbles upon the mercenaries’ secret missiles in storage, and before you can say MacGuffin, Finnegan’s boat hits another vessel and stalls out. When they come across a luxury cruise ship just floating in the water, Finnegan and gang think they’ve lucked out, only to find the massive vessel devoid of power and completely empty of humans.

While searching the ship, they come across a handful of people, including the ship’s captain, Canton (Anthony Heald), and resourceful pickpocket, Trillian (Famke Janssen). Finnegan eventually discovers Canton is in cahoots with the mercenaries to destroy the ship as part of an insurance scam, but they’re too late as a vicious horde of tentacled sea monsters invade the boat.

Written and directed by Stephen Sommors (1999’s The Mummy), Deep Rising fires on almost all cylinders and delivers a slam-bang monster ride of a movie. While the action aspect is obviously not as enticing as the horror parts – many of the mercenaries are just cardboard cut-outs from other movies – the film does a good job at blending the two genres into a cohesive whole. While many of the CGI effects are dated, the movie does successfully merge both CG and practical FX in several scenes, including the gruesome death of one of the mercenaries, who’s vomited back up by one of the monsters, his face half-eaten away by the creature’s digestive acid.

The cast is good, especially Williams, Janssen, and O’Connor, who would go on to be Sommor’s right hand man and appear in many of the director’s films, including The Mummy, Van Helsing, and G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. Deep Rising may not be the most original movie ever, but it’s fast, funny, and fun. | Tremors: A+ Deep Rising: B+ The Ruins: B

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Made-for-TV Monster Movies

Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark, 1973

by Frank Pittarese

The ‘70s were the golden age of made-for-TV horror. It was a decade that gave us The Night Stalker, Trilogy of Terror, and Steven Spielberg’s adrenaline-filled Duel. It was also prime-time for monsters, as seen in these three creature features…

GARGOYLES is one of the most memorable monsterfests of the era. When Dr. Mercer Boley (Cornel Wilde) and his daughter Diana (Jennifer Salt) visit the deserts of New Mexico to research his book on demonology, the two inadvertently come into possession of a bizarre animal skull. From that moment on they’re hunted and attacked, as hordes of reptilian gargoyles relentlessly try to reclaim the skull. When one of the gargoyles is killed, the creatures abducts Diana and the monsters’ master plan of global domination is revealed.

Originally airing in November of 1972, this short-length TV classic features unforgettable make-up work by Stan Winston (for which he and his partners won an Emmy). Their designs for the gargoyles are beautifully crafted — especially the creatures’ leader, played to demonic perfection by the late Bernie Casey. These “gar-things,” as biker James Reeger (Scott Glenn) calls them are truly eerie as they creep around in slow motion, stalking their victims (in one shocking moment that haunted my childhood, a gargoyle appears at the foot of Dr. Boley’s bed).

The cast is great. Wilde takes the material very seriously, giving the whole affair some gravitas. Salt — best known for her appearance in Brian De Palma’s Sisters and as Eunice Tate on the sitcom Soap — is full of personality. As the (possibly lustful) focus of the gargoyle leader, she carries the weight of the movie with energy and charm. Grayson Hall, most famous for her run on the original Dark Shadows, gives a brief but delightfully hammy performance as an alcoholic motel manager. But the make-up is the real star here. The gargoyles are entirely believable and nightmarish, even 50 years later. Seek out and enjoy this unique little gem. Often airing on Svengoolie, Gargoyles can also be found streaming on Tubi and IMDB-TV.

For cheesy, Bigfoot-runs-amok thrills, look no further than 1977’s SNOWBEAST. Olympic champion Gar Seberg (Bo Svenson) and his wife, Ellen (Yvette Mimieux), visit a ski resort in the Colorado Rockies just as the annual Snow Carnival is getting underway. But wouldn’t you know it? There’s a killer Bigfoot on the loose (which, not to split hairs, looks more like a Yeti), tearing people to shreds on the slopes. Despite the attacks, resort owner Carrie (Sylvia Sidney) is determined to keep Amity Beach open for the Fourth of July — whoops — I mean keep the resort open for the carnival. That is until the Snowbeast attacks the festival, creating a mob riot and slaughtering some poor woman in her car. The only solution is kill the furball, so Gar, Ellen, Carrie’s grandson Tony (Robert Logan) and the Sheriff head into the woods to bring it down.

This Jaws-by-way-of-Grizzly ripoff isn’t as tense or thrilling as it could have been. The script by Joseph Stefano (Psycho) is serviceable — and there are some tense moments, particular the carnival attack — but the pace is slowed down by long stretches where people…just…ski. They ski for fun, they ski because they’re searching, they ski because Snowbeast is coming. A mild love triangle between the three young leads provides enough characterization to hang your hat on, and Sidney is perky as the tough-as-nails grandma. The monster itself is kept off-camera for the bulk of the film, with the kills and chases shot POV-style. We do see his face a few times, and he sometimes sticks an arm through a window, but the “less is more” execution (probably dictated by the low budget and/or a cheap suit) sort of works here. It’s not the best killer Bigfoot movie out there, but it’s enjoyable. Notorious for appearing in every public domain horror boxed set known to mankind, Snowbeast can be found on Tubi, Amazon Prime, and IMDB-TV. (Not to be confused with 2011’s similar Snow Beast.)

DON’T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK was a made-for-TV highlight of 1973. A young couple, Sally (Kim Darby) and Alex (Jim Hutton), move into a large house that Sally inherited from her late grandmother. But when persistently curious Sally unseals a bricked-up fireplace in a locked room, she accidentally frees a host of whispering, gremlin-like creatures. They only come out in the dark…and they want Sally’s soul.

Creepy and memorable — so memorable that Guillermo del Toro produced a big-screen remake in 2010 — this slow-burn really gets under your skin. We know something is up, but everyone, even Sally herself, begins to question her sanity as the raisin-headed little freaks stalk her unrelentingly. Handyman Harris (played by wonderful character actor William Demarest) seems to know the truth behind the house’s dark secrets, but the doubtful Alex won’t hear any crazy talk. The final act, in which Sally desperately tries to save herself from the creatures, are truly tense, and it all leads to a haunting ending. Smartly directed by John Newland (best known for the paranormal anthology series One Step Beyond), Don’t Be Afraid features fantastic creature make-up and vivid mood lighting whenever the little beasts appear. It’s not streaming at the moment, but it’s available on Blu-ray. Watch this version before viewing the less-effective remake.

Gargoyles: A–
Snowbeast: B–
Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark: B+

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Why “Bog” is the Best Worst Movie You’ve Never Seen

1979’s BOG is the type of movie Ed Wood would have made in the ’50s: a cheerfully inept little monster flick that’s so bad it’s heartwarmingly charming.

While on a fishing excursion in the woods of rural Wisconsin, friends Chuck (Rojay North) and Allan (Glen Voros), and their extremely unhappy wives, Kim (Lou Hunt) and May (Carol Tanner), are attacked by an unseen creature that emerges from the lake. When Kim and May disappear and are later found completely drained of blood, the local police are baffled by the mysterious crime and call in scientists, Ginny Glenn (Gloria DeHaven) and John Warren (Leo Gordon), to help.

While Ginny and John look into microscopes and hypothesize ideas – and have an awesomely corny and adorable romance on the side – Chuck and Allan take matters into their own, gun-toting hands and go back to the lake to find what killed their wives. In doing so they run into Wallace Fry (Robert Fry), a fedora and overalls-wearing hillbilly (a precursor to Crazy Ralph, perhaps?) who takes Chuck and Allan to see an old hermit named Adrianna (also DeHaven).

Adrianna informs them an ancient fish-monster has been asleep for millennia at the bottom of the lake, and now it’s awakened from fishing dynamite and needs human blood to survive. Chuck and Allan tell the authorities, who seem to have a hard time finding the creature, despite the fact it makes more noise than King Kong on steroids. But, wait – there are also eggs found at the bottom of the lake by a couple of scuba divers, who’re eventually killed and the eggs brought back to Ginny’s lab (which suspiciously looks like a high school science classroom).

I first learned about Bog back in the early ’90s when I saw a VHS of it in the $1 bin at my local video store. I was immediately mesmerized by the colorful if awkward art, and upon watching it was swept up in its amazing awfulness. But like most good bad movies, Bog has a charm to spare. The actors, mostly professionals from way back when, give it their all, especially former MGM star DeHaven, who, considering the material she’s working with, is quite good as both Ginny and Adrianna – Adrianna’s old age make-up looks like it was done with a kit bought at a drug store Halloween sale.

As for the monster itself, well… If you took a large papier-maché fish head and attached it to a lizard costume, you’ll get the picture. But, as I mentioned earlier, the movie’s dime-store aesthetics are what make it so delightful, but so does the cast, with Ann B. Davis lookalike, Tanner, a hoot as cranky May.

Best line: “Do we have a Dracula running around out there?”

Back to the woods it is for the 2014 Bigfoot chiller, EXISTS. Directed by Blair Witch Project‘s Eduardo Sanchez, Exists follows a group of twenty-something friends as they venture into the forest to spend the weekend at a – drumroll, please! – cabin.

Brothers Matt (Samuel Davis) and Brian (Chris Osborn) invite several of their friends to their uncle’s house in the Texas country for the weekend. Upon arriving, Matt hits something with his car; later they hear what sounds like animalistic cries of pain in the woods. Thinking they hit a deer, the gang continue to the house, but stoner Brian, remembering stories his uncle told them as a kid, believes it could be Bigfoot. He quickly sets up GoPro cameras around the property, hoping to capture footage of the beast.

After a night of partying, Matt and friends start to believe Brian’s Bigfoot theory when the house is attacked by a large creature walking on two legs. The group makes a hasty exit the next morning, only to find Matt’s car trashed, with a tree trunk sticking out the windshield. They all decide to fortify the house and wait for the arrive of Matt’s and Brian’s uncle.

Unable to wait, Matt rides his bike to seek help, only to come face-to-face with the massive beast who, in the film’s best scene, pursues Matt in an intense, high-speed chase reminiscent of the water skier chase sequence from Jaws 2. With no help coming, it isn’t long until the helpless group realizes it’s a fight to the death between them and the monster.

In terms of found footage monster movies, Exists isn’t one of the best, but it’s most certainly not one of the worst. While it lacks the grueling horror of Blair Witch Project (and the nail-biting suspense of Willow Creek), Exists is more of a jump-scare funhouse movie and doesn’t pretend to be anything other than that. The film delivers several fun scenes and uses the monster wisely, but keeps it in the shadows and hidden behind the shrubbery in the woods. Sanchez keeps the pace moving fast, which helps with the absence of suspense and the annoyance of its dumb, one-dimensional characters. But, as FF flicks go, Exists is a decent entry in the canon and worth a look for fans.

Concluding this week’s “Creatures in the Woods” theme is the 1979 environmental monster romp, PROPHECY. When all the members of a search-and-rescue team are brutally murdered by a mysterious beast in the wilds of Maine, lumber mill director, Bethel Isely (Richard Dysart), blames a local tribe of Native Americans for the deaths of both the searchers and for a group of missing mill employees. Unsure of how to solve a land dispute between the mill and Native Americans, the Environmental Protection Agency sends Dr. Rob Verne (Robert Foxworth), along with his wife, Maggie (Talia Shire), to Maine to write up a report on the situation.

While researching the area, Rob discovers abnormal wildlife, including oversized salmon and violently aggressive raccoons, one of which attacks Rob and Maggie in their cabin. Later on, Rob is approached by John Hawks (Armand Assante), a Native American who informs Rob that the lumber mill is poisoning the surrounding environment with pollution.

Meanwhile, on a nearby camping excursion, a father and his two children are torn to pieces by a large, mutated, blood-and-pus-dripping bear, the same animal that killed the rescuers earlier. Isely accusing Hawks and his men of the new crimes, but when Rob and Maggie find a deformed and dying bear cub in a fishing net, Rob uses the cub as evidence of Hawk’s innocence. That is until Mama Bear comes looking for her child.

An unfairly criticized film, Prophecy is a solid creature feature with some terrific scenes, including the shocking death of a boy smashed against a rock while helplessly caught inside his sleeping bag. The screenplay (by The Omen‘s David Seltzer) gets too wrapped up in its pollution-as-monster metaphor, especially during the first hour, but director John Frankenheimer (The Manchurian Candidate) makes up for it with brisk direction, a good use of widescreen framing (soaking in the beautiful British Columbia landscapes used as the backdrop for Maine), and an exciting last 30 minutes. A tighter script and this could have been a cult classic. | Bog: A– Prophecy: B Exists: B–

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MONSTER MONTH: Here Wolf, There Wolf, Werewolf

The short but prolific werewolf cycle of the early ’80s gave us classics The Howling and An American Werewolf in London. Coming in under the radar is the underappreciated 1985 gem, SILVER BULLET, a fast-paced and immensely enjoyable monster thriller adapted by Stephen King from his own novella. In the summer of 1976, several residents of the small town of Tarker’s Mill are viciously murdered. The locals think a serial killer is responsible, and the authorities shut down the town, even cancelling the popular Fourth of July fireworks celebration.

The town becomes restless as the body count grows and no suspect is brought forward, until wheelchair-bound Marty (Corey Haim) has a close encounter with a large, hairy beast with sharp teeth. Marty believes a werewolf is on the prowl and tries to convince his loving but dysfunctional uncle, Red (Gary Busey), and big sister, Jane (Megan Follows), that they must find the person who’s transforming into the creature and kill them.

While it might lack the visual richness of Howling and polished trickery of American Werewolf, Silver Bullet is a solid film filled with wonderful characters and suspenseful situations. Busey and Haim have great chemistry and feel like genuine family, while Follows has enough spunk and energy to have been the next Jamie Lee Curtis. Director Dan Attias keeps the film moving at a tight pace and builds it up to an exciting, but brief, climax.

When it comes to satisfying endings, 1981’s THE HOWLING sure does give you your money’s worth. After receiving threatening phone calls, TV news reporter, Karen (Dee Wallace), goes undercover to find out if her stalker is the person responsible for a series of brutal murders in the area. When she’s attacked by a man named Eddie Quist (Robert Picardo), who’s shot dead by police, famed psychiatrist, Dr. Waggner (Patrick Macnee), suggests Karen and her husband, Bill (Christopher Stone), spend a week at his woodsy retreat, The Colony. Once there, they meet the doctor’s colorful patients, including leather-clad “nymphomaniac,” Marsha (Elisabeth Brooks), whose got eyes for Bill and might be hiding a dangerous secret.

After several nights of strange noises, and following an animal attack on Bill, Karen discovers The Colony is actually a haven of werewolves, and home to Eddie, who’s still very much alive. Adapted from Gary Brandner’s book, screenwriters John Sayles and Terrence H. Winkless wisely injected the story with humor, and in doing so created a truly original werewolf flick. The film’s serious subject matter (attempted rape and PTSD) is nicely evened out with a jokey take on then-popular new age medicine and commune lifestyles. Wallace makes for a sympathetic heroine, but it’s Rob Bottin’s excellent make-up FX that is the real star; the werewolves are perhaps some of the scariest in horror history.

Oscar winner Rick Baker offered up his expertise for WOLF, but unlike An American Werewolf in London, the make-up FX in this 1994 film are merely background dressing. Jack Nicholson stars as mild mannered book editor, Will Randall, who’s bitten by a yellow-eyed wolf while driving through Vermont wilderness. A few days later, and after he’s demoted at work, Will undergoes a mysterious transformation which not only heightens his senses but changes his personality. After discovering his wife (Kate Nelligan) is sleeping with his coworker, Stewart (James Spader), who was offered Will’s position at work, Will forms his own publishing business and begins a romance with his former boss’s daughter, Laura (Michelle Pfeiffer).

It isn’t long until the animal comes completely out of Will as he’s chasing and snacking on deer. His aggressive nature also gets him his old job back, as well as revenge on Stewart, who may be hiding a secret of his own. When Will moves from killing animals to attacking humans, he tries to stop himself before he can’t return from his wolf persona at all.

Not a horror movie in the traditional sense, Wolf is more of a were-drama that’s concerned with character over fangs. Nicholson, with his brooding demeanor, is well cast as Will, as is Spader, who’s his usually slimy-but-charming self as Will’s nemesis. Pfeiffer has good chemistry with Nicholson, but Laura doesn’t have very much to do aside from being the love interest. There’s also a scene where Will seeks help from a worldly old scientist (Om Puri) that’s pure ham and feels unnecessary.

Although it looks great, Wolf is a disappointment. A good cast is wasted on rather lackluster writing and a sluggish pace, and Baker’s make-up effects (briefly seen during the final showdown) are not used to their full potential. Wolf is a drama without much drama, and a horror movie without much horror; it’s a werewolf movie for people who don’t watch werewolf movies. Look for David Schwimmer in a small role as a cop. | The Howling: A– Silver Bullet: B+ Wolf: C

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The New Scream Doesn’t Cut Deep

Warning: This post contains spoilers!

By Frank Pittarese

I went into the new Scream with low expectations, but wanting so badly to love it. It wasn’t the most necessary of sequels, but knowing that the original cast was returning was exciting. If nothing else, I was looking forward to checking in with their characters again. But since this was the fifth film in the series, the stakes needed to be high. This one needed to matter. We’ve already had four films with essentially the same plot, so if this “requel” didn’t level up, it would be a pointless. In my mind, that meant one of two things had to happen: Sidney Prescott had to die in a blaze of glory — or Sidney Prescott had to be the killer. But whichever way it went, it was time to close the door on Sidney’s too-long arc.

Scream 5 is, unfortunately, a half-baked regurgitation of what has come before. Self-referential? Check. Multiple killers? Check. Killers motivated by fame? Check. It’s fair to say that we want some familiar touchstones — the template for every Friday the 13th is practically the same and I never get sick of those. But with the Scream franchise — thanks to Wes Craven’s genre-defining launch — there’s an expectation of something better…a level of quality that should rise above a by-the-numbers, lazy, cash-grab

But that’s what we got. Oh, all our favorites are back — but every one of them is here strictly for fan service. The “old school” characters are hollow window-dressing in a story that disrespects every one of them. Apart from a phone call with Dewey, Sidney is sidelined for the first hour. Dewey and Gale have, for no justifiable reason, divorced between films — and to really drive a nail in the coffin, Dewey is killed off at the halfway point. He dies like a chump before ever reconciling with Gale. They barely even share screen time. Were you a Randy fan? Well, his teenage niece and nephew have been created for the sole purpose of name-dropping him multiple times. How about Billy? Well, one of the newbies is Billy’s daughter, retconned for the sole purpose of — what did I say? Fan service, and insulting fan service, to boot.

The mystery, such as it is, is rendered pointless when, in the final act, the main killer simply whips out a gun and starts shooting people. It’s like the screenwriters grew tired of their own laziness and gave up. Sidney and Gale, two strong women with a history of conflict, arrive on the scene and for a brief flash, I had hope. Maybe this was the point for Sidney and Gale to bond, work together, and save the day. But no, Gale is shot within seconds of meeting the killer. She survives, but the possibility of seeing something different or interesting play out evaporated at that moment.

The lead actress — playing our new Sidney, I suppose — is a bland, blank slate. Neve Campbell is the embodiment of the word “personality,” and gave us a character we could invest in for decades. This new girl, Sam, is just a CW character gone astray. She brings nothing to the table.

The one surprise is the second killer. Not that there IS a second killer, because that’s pretty apparent early on. It’s their identity that was a surprise. Somehow, they managed to structure the story and cast a performer who worked so well that I was honestly taken aback in a good way.

Word is, there’s another sequel coming. Nobody is asking for it, but we’re getting it. Perhaps they’ll redeem themselves, but given the mess Scream 5 left behind, I wouldn’t count on it. D+

Frank is a Brooklyn native, comic book editor, and horror fanatic. You can follow him on Twitter and Instagram

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MONSTER MONTH: Canadian Parasites and Virgins for Dracula

You’ll never see a more slender and fragile Dracula than you will in the 1974 cult classic, BLOOD FOR DRACULA. With an absence of the fresh blood of virgins he needs in order to survive, a sickly Count Dracula (a perfectly cast Udo Kier) is forced to leave his crumbling castle in 1920s Romania for the lush countryside of Italy. Once there, Dracula and his loyal human assistant, Anton (Arno Juerging), search for pure young women for the Count to dine on, and soon encounter a land baron (Italian director Vittorio De Sica) and his four lovely daughters.

Thinking he’s struck “whergin” gold, Dracula is repelled (literally) when he discovers several of the daughters have already been deflowered by the family’s handyman and all-around stud, Mario (Joe Dallasandro). Mario eventually catches on to Dracula’s antics and tries to save the remaining members of the family before they are bewitched by the Count.

Both an exploitation flick and a thoughtful art piece, Blood for Dracula was the unofficial end of the golden age of the Andy Warhol independent cinema era. Following Flesh for Frankenstein, Dracula is perhaps director Paul Morrissey at his filmmaking best, and although it lacks the visceral gruesomeness of Frankenstein, it’s beautifully shot and elegantly paced. Kier is both hammy and touching in his portrayal of the monster, and there’s no question Morrissey (and an uncredited Pat Hackett) intentionally added campy moments to the screenplay – Dracula needs the blood of virgins to live, yet demands a vegetarian diet from his host.

Dallasandro delivers a stiff but charming performance as the “hero,” while Juerging is so OTT he seems to be in danger of laughing every time he delivers a line. While Blood for Dracula might not be for everyone, I found it sleazy, funny, and surprisingly heartfelt. The blood-soaked ending is a sight to see.

The residents of a posh high-rise apartment building outside of Montreal are terrorized by an army of slug-like parasites in 1975’s SHIVERS. A well-known physician, Dr. Hobbes (Fred Doederlein), murders a young woman named Annabelle and then kills himself inside the Starliner Towers apartment complex. Resident medical doctor, Roger St. Luc (Paul Hampton), discovers that his colleague, Dr. Linsky (Joe Silver), along with Hobbes, had created a man-made parasite that could essentially replace human organs when needed – and Annabelle was their first experimental patient.

Roger finds out that Annabelle was sleeping around with several men in the building, including upstairs neighbor, Nick (Allan Kolman), who, along with several others, is infested with the parasite, turning him – and eventually the entire building – into mindless murderers and rapists.

One of, if not the first, “body horror” subgenre movies that director David Cronenberg invented, Shivers is a somewhat demented take on Night of the Living Dead. The film utilizes its low budget by creating a moody, almost claustrophobic environment. Nearly every scene takes place inside the building; the bright colors of the interiors offset the impending doom of the characters living within. Although Hampton makes for a rather lifeless protagonist, Lynn Lowry adds some energetic flavor as his love interest.

Released in 1988, WAXWORK was a favorite video rental of mine as a kid. It was different from Jason or Freddy; it featured all the old-timey monsters but was hipper than the classic movies. Rewatching the low-budget flick now brings back a lot of memories, and while the movie doesn’t seem as charming as it once did, it’s still very enjoyable.

While walking to class, high-maintenance China (Michelle Johnson) and mousy Sarah (Deborah Foreman) run into a mysterious man named Lincoln (David Warner), who invites them to a midnight showing at his new waxwork museum. Thinking it’ll be better than homework, the girls decide to go and invite their friends, including preppy rich boy, Mark (Zach Galligan), and nerdy Tony (Dana Ashbrook). When they arrive, they discover the museum is filled with wax exhibits of mostly horror movie-related scenes, including Dracula, the Mummy, Frankenstein, and the Wolf Man.

Upon closer look, these scenes have an uncanny realism to them, and, as some of the characters unfortunately discover, serve as doorways into another world. When Tony steps past the velvet rope of one of the exhibits, he inadvertently enters a misty forest filled with werewolves. Meanwhile, China gets herself trapped in Dracula’s castle and must fight to the death against his army of undead brides in the film’s best (and bloodiest) sequence. When China and Tony fail to return to the real world, it’s up to Mark and Sarah to find out what’s going on and try to stop the supernatural powers of the place.

Sort of an adult variation on The Monster Squad, Waxwork is a spirited splatter flick that never takes itself seriously. It loves the monsters, the movies from which they came and, obviously, influenced a great deal of the scenes. Some chapters deserve a movie of their own – the Mummy segment is atmospheric and juicy – but some are a missed opportunity. The Marquis de Sade (J. Kenneth Campbell) is too jokey and uninvolving to muster up much excitement, although Campbell plays him smartly with a wink-wink vibe. It might be slight, but Waxwork is harmless ’80s bubblegum entertainment. | Blood for Dracula: B+ Shivers and Waxwork: B