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City of the Living Dead, Home Sweet Home, Witchery

City of the Living Dead – 1980, Italy, 92m. Director: Lucio Fulci.

Home Sweet Home – 1981, US, 84m. Director: Nettie Peña.

Witchery – 1989, Italy, 94m. Director: Fabrizio Laurenti.

CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD (1980) (AKA: Fear in the City of the Living Dead; The Gates of Hell) A priest’s suicide triggers a series of gruesome events in a small town whose residents are the descendants of witch-burners. A man gets his head impaled with an industrial power drill. A woman is attacked by the ghost of the priest, who suffocates the poor soul with a handful of worm-infested rotting flesh. Another woman is hypnotized into expelling her entire intestinal track out from her mouth. There are also zombies running amok ripping out brains—plus a maggot rainstorm! All this splatter could only mean it’s the end of the world, Lucio Fulci-style! Although the movie is supposedly inspired by the works of H.P. Lovecraft (with some Stephen King thrown in for good measure), City of the Living Dead contains the usual Fulci-zombie fare—a funeral director gets his hand chomped by a revivified corpse, for example. As with other Fulci cannibal epics, City of the Living Dead might be high on style, but it’s low on logic. In other words, it’s a nonsensical but highly enjoyable bloodbath. B

HOME SWEET HOME (1981) A chuckling lunatic (Jake Steinfeld) high on PCP escapes from the hospital, steals a station wagon—running over an old lady in the process—and drives out to the sticks, where he terrorizes a family celebrating Thanksgiving. Steinfeld goes about performing the usual escaped killer tricks (e.g. cutting the phone lines) before he starts eliminating his victims—one of the men, a guitar-playing magician/mime, is perhaps the most annoying character in the history of low budget horror movies. There’s nothing special or original about Home Sweet Home, but despite its contrivances the film has personality and a sense of humor. Gorehounds won’t appreciate the lack of blood, but that doesn’t stop the movie from being an enjoyable, albeit obscure, holiday slasher. Steinfeld would eventually gain fame for his Body by Jake/FitTV empire, as well as becoming an ambassador for physical fitness under Schwarzenegger’s governorship. B–

WITCHERY (1989) (AKA: Witchcraft) A scorned actress-turned-witch (Hildegard Knef) summons a group of people to a ramshackle house in order to fulfill a Satanic prophecy, which includes the sacrifice of sexually-repressed student Leslie Cumming (the Virgin), and pregnant Linda Blair (the Harlot). Blair’s past connection to the house is represented in dreams and premonitions, as well as via the slaughter of her evil stepmother (Annie Ross), who’s hung upside down in the fireplace and burnt alive. In a replay of The Exorcist, Blair is possessed by Knef (sans the genius of Dick Smith) and kills off the rest of the unexciting cast (including David Hasselhoff). But love wins in the end, and she flings herself out of a window before harming her little brother—although not before Cumming is raped by an otherworldly being and unwillingly invites her demonic baby into society. Another bogus Italian stinker made in the States and featuring no redeeming qualities whatsoever—from the makers of the equally idiotic Ghosthouse (1988). D

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Beyond Evil, Evil Dead Trap, Wolfman

Beyond Evil – 1980, US, 93m. Director: Herb Freed.

Evil Dead Trap – 1988, Japan, 102m. Director: Toshiharu Ikeda.

Wolfman – 1979, US, 101m. Director: Worth Keeter.

BEYOND EVIL (1980) A couple moves into a large house haunted by the malevolent spirit of a Devil worshipper who’s still scorned by her untimely death at the hands of her philandering husband. The ghost, Alma (who looks exactly like Angelique from the TV show, Dark Shadows), slowly possesses the wife, Barbara (Lynda Day George), by turning her into an emotional train wreck and confusing her husband, Larry (John Saxon)—as if the ghostly brand on Barbara’s body wasn’t a clear indication of demonic activity. A sleazy doctor tries to pull the wool over Barbara’s eyes but ends up dying a fiery death at the hands of Alma/Barbara. Larry throws his old school sensibilities out the window and brings in a faith healer to put a stop to Alma/Barbara’s murderous mayhem. The special effects are in bargain basement territory, which isn’t all that surprising considering Beyond Evil has an inherently low-rent feel from the very first scene. Better than the similar Mausoleum (1983), but still not very good. C

EVIL DEAD TRAP (1988) A Japanese television team investigating an alleged snuff video depicting a woman’s murder gets roped into the bloody games of a demented madman. The TV crew is lured to an abandoned military facility where they’re tormented by a hooded killer and his expertise of trapping people in elaborate torture devices—one victim is skewered with several metal spears after stumbling upon the decaying body of the woman from the snuff movie. After most of the cast is dispatched (with a couple of rapes thrown in for good measure), it’s revealed that the hooded figure is just a puppet orchestrated by the man’s Cronenbergesque, telekinetic fetal twin that rips out of the man’s body at the end—just like Samantha Eggar in The Brood. Don’t worry, I didn’t get it either. Evil Dead Trap is an inventive and gruesome tribute (in tone and style) to the films of Dario Argento and recommended for viewing—at least up until the ludicrous final 10 minutes. B–

WOLFMAN (1979) There’s plenty of Southern color to Wolfman, a tale of a turn-of-the-century family plagued by a history of lycanthropy. Unfortunately, this melodramatic feature from prolific North Carolina producer Earl Owensby comes off as more of a watered down episode of Dark Shadows than a full-fledged werewolf film—the same problem that made Owensby’s A Day of Judgement (1981) such a missed opportunity. Owensby not only financed Wolfman but stars as Colin Glasgow, inheritor of the Glasgow family estate, and his late father’s curse of werewolfism. At first Colin doesn’t believe in the stories, but come the next full moon—and an hour into the film!—Colin sprouts fur, fangs, and goes on a killing spree. Some will appreciate Wolfman‘s use of old fashioned optical effects during the transformation scenes, reminiscent of Lon Chaney Jr. in The Wolf Man. Modern audiences raised on An American Werewolf in London and The Howling are more likely to yawn from the slow pacing and lack of general excitement. D+

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The Bride, Gore-Met: Zombie Chef from Hell, Rush Week

The Bride – 1985, UK, 118m. Director: Franc Roddam.

Gore-Met, Zombie Chef from Hell – 1986, US, 67m. Director: Don Swan.

Rush Week – 1989, US, 96m. Director: Bob Bralver.

THE BRIDE (1985) Before he created the television juggernaut MasterChef, Franc Roddam directed this flashy reimagining of Bride of Frankenstein starring eighties icons Sting and Jennifer (Flashdance) Beals. In order to appease his domesticated creation (Clancy Brown), Baron Frankenstein (Sting) makes a mate in the form of beautiful Eva (Beals), who the Baron ends up grooming into his world of aristocratic wealth after Brown is declared destroyed in a freak lab explosion. Still very much alive, Brown meets a promiscuous little person (David Rappaport) and the two travel the country, where they end up joining a circus in Budapest. It’s fun to see the monsters perceived as more intellectual beings but The Bride‘s screenplay doesn’t give them much to do other than wallow in the story’s heavy use of melodrama—a subplot involving the romancing of the bride by a dashing soldier (Cary Elwes) feels like needless filler. This is still nonetheless a well-acted and polished film—and better than the bloated Kenneth Branagh-helmed Frankenstein starring De Niro. Screenwriter Lloyd Fonvielle would dabble in the monsterverse again with the 1999 remake of The Mummy. Look for Quintin Crisp and Timothy Spall in small roles. C+

GORE-MET, ZOMBIE CHEF FROM HELL (1986) There’s low rent, and then there’s low rent. And then there’s Gore-Met, Zombie Chef from Hell, a fifth-rate Blood Feast (1963) wannabe made by people completely devoid of talent and creativity. In the thirteenth century, a man named Goza (Theo Depuay) is cursed by his fellow occult members to live for all eternity as a cannibal. Flash forward to modern day Charlotte, North Carolina, where Goza is the owner of a popular barbecue joint that uses human meat as its main ingredient. A health inspector threatens the place with closure but Goza turns him into the soup of the day. A customer proposes marriage to his girlfriend only to later discover the engagement ring in his hamburger after she disappears. The formless story is sporadically narrated by Goza, who spouts uninteresting dialogue directly to the camera. The acting is subpar, the jokes fall flat, and the splatter consists of mundane aftermath shots of plastic body parts basted with fake blood. Shockingly, Gore-Met predates the similar Blood Diner, which compared to this looks like a high-class production. F

RUSH WEEK (1989) Coed disappearances at Tambers University makes a hot story for aspiring journalist Pamela Ludwig, whose assigned topic of fraternity life during college rush week doesn’t stimulate her creative juices. All that changes when someone in a black robe and wielding a ceremonial axe begins chopping up the student body. Suspects come in the form of brooding frat hunk Dean Hamilton, who’s got eyes for Ludwig, and university dean Roy Thinnes, whose pretty daughter was mysteriously murdered the year before. Gorehounds will be turned off by the substantial lack of blood, but others will rejoice over the amount of naked bodies (male and female) bouncing into frame. Most of the been-there/done-that plot stems from the majority of slasher’s past, but Rush Week is well acted by a likable cast and features enough suspense and humor to make the passing grade. B–

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Witchboard 1986-1995

Witchboard – 1986, US, 98m. Director: Kevin S. Tenney.

Witchboard 2 – 1993, US, 97m. Director: Kevin S. Tenney.

Witchboard: The Possession – 1995, Canada, 92m. Director: Peter Svatek.

WITCHBOARD (1986) A well made story of ghostly possession, the mishandling of a spirit board, and the consequences surrounding those involved in its deadly game. Linda (Tawny Kitaen) plays with a Ouija board at a party and believes she’s made contact with a 10-year-old boy who drowned thirty years ago. Unbeknownst to her, Linda’s actually contacted and being manipulated by the malevolent spirit of a serial killer who died in her house in 1930. Linda’s ex (Stephen Nichols) enlists the help of a psychic (Kathleen Wilhoite), but as these things go she’s dispatched before warning Linda of impending doom. Linda ultimately becomes a host for the murderer to move into and continue his reign of slaughter. A reliance on mystery over an overuse of special effects gives Witchboard an edge in the writing department by offering better written characters than normally found in these types of movies—Wilhoite’s kooky medium is especially endearing. The film goes a little over the top during the climax, but Witchboard is a good little movie worthy of its cult status. Director Kevin Tenney would follow up this one with another classic of its era: 1988’s Night of the Demons. B

WITCHBOARD 2 (1993) Struggling artist Paige (the underused Ami Dolenz) rents a trendy downtown loft—a popular plot point in so many horror titles of the 1990s—where she finds a Ouija board and begins communicating with the previous tenant, who died under mysterious circumstances. Similar to Tawny Kitaen in the first Witchboard, Paige becomes obsessed with the mystery, while at the same time a ghostly force wreaks havoc around her—and sends people to an early grave. The twist this time around is a revenge scheme conducted by the angry spirit in order to seek justice for a murder committed two years earlier. There’s more visual effects and stunt work, and less characterization and suspense—two components that made the original work—in Witchboard 2, but in this instance it’s not a bad thing. Dolenz is likable, and the movie keeps its engines running at a good pace until the ending, which wisely avoids another possession climax as with Part 1. In all, a serviceable sequel that was successful enough on the video market to warrant Witchboard: The Possession in 1995. B–

WITCHBOARD: THE POSSESSION (1995) (AKA: Witchboard III) Unemployed stockbroker Brian (David Nerman) is introduced to a new form of insider trading through the use of a spirit board that promises riches beyond his wildest dreams—but at a price. Brian becomes host to a demonic entity that turns the man into a suave witchcraft-practicing sex machine. In a play on Rosemary’s Baby, the demon tries to bring its spawn into the real world by impregnating Brian’s Mia Farrow-ish wife (Locky Lambert), and killing anyone who gets in the way of its plan—bye-bye, nosy best friend! Lambert tricks the demon by feeding it shrimp, which human Brian is allergic to—I guess even demons aren’t immune to shellfish allergies—and seeks help from a woman whose husband was the victim of a similar possession, and Brian’s previous landlord. The horned (and horny) beastie eventually emerges in full form and tries to have sex with Lambert before Brian shoots it in the chest with an amulet-empowered crossbow and sending the demon back to Hell in the cheesy, digital FX-heavy climax. Promises of a fourth entry in the oddly long-running Witchboard series were, luckily, never fulfilled. C

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Hack-o-Lantern, Trick or Treat, Trick or Treats

Hack-o-Lantern – 1988, US, 87m. Director: Jag Mundhra.

Trick or Treat – 1986, US, 98m. Director: Charles Martin Smith.

Trick or Treats – 1982, US, 90m. Director: Gary Graver.

HACK-O-LANTERN (1988) Satanist and part-time pumpkin farmer, Hy Pyke, initiates his grandson, Tommy, into the world of evil—Devil-worshipping, not pumpkins—before immolating the boy’s father and leaving his mother a nervous wreck. Years later, the eternally scowling Tommy (Gregory Scott Cummins) has turned into a social pariah who dreams of becoming a rock star while waiting to fulfill his destiny as the rightful heir to the Prince of Darkness. Meanwhile, someone in a ceremonial robe and Devil mask is skewering people with a jagged pitchfork on Halloween night. Hack-o-Lantern might be low on logic, but it’s high on cheesy splatter, bad writing, and bare-breasted blondes who look like they just stepped out of a Whitesnake video. The movie also features incredulous performances, most notably from Dolemite‘s Pyke who seems to be going for some sort of overacting award. Yet another goofball epic from the director of the equally goofy slasher melodrama Open House (1987). C+

TRICK OR TREAT (1986) Bullied high schooler Eddie (Marc Price) falls under the influence of his favorite rocker, Sammi Curr (Tony Fields), after the dead musician returns from the grave to help Eddie seek vengeance against his tormentors. Eddie receives messages through Sammi’s final record (“Songs in the Key of Death”) instructing the teen on how to eliminate his oppressors—that is until Sammi’s powers grow beyond Eddie’s control, bringing the rocker back into the real world as an unstoppable supernatural being. In a scene reminiscent of the climax of Carrie, Sammi incinerates students with his electric guitar during a school Halloween party. Trick or Treat doesn’t pretend to be anything other than what it is—think Freddy Krueger meets Twister Sister—but that’s most likely why it works. The writers inject the story with subtle humor that flows throughout the script. The characters feel authentic and are played by good actors, although Melrose Place‘s Doug Savant, as Eddie’s schoolyard antagonist, looks out of place as the world’s oldest teenager. (He gets his just desserts in the form of explosive head-banging, in the most literal of senses.) This was the directorial debut for actor Charles Martin Smith, who at that point had been directed by George Lucas, John Carpenter, and many others—and judging from Trick or Treat, the man learned well. B

TRICK OR TREATS (1982) The plot of Trick of Treats—a babysitter is terrorized by an escaped lunatic on Halloween night—is ripped directly from a certain 1978 holiday classic starring Jamie Lee Curtis. The difference with Trick or Treats is that its done tongue-in-cheek. Unfortunately, that doesn’t stop the movie from being lousy. Unlike Jamie Lee’s smart babysitter in Halloween, the sitter in Trick or Treats (Jacqueline Giroux) is a whiny bimbo who jumps at every shadow. Unlucky for her, the demented father (Peter Jason) of the kid Giroux’s in charge of escapes his institution (his wife had him committed and remarried) and goes back to the family homestead. Jason disguises himself as a nurse—just like Michael Caine in Dressed to Kill—in order to make the trip back to his old neighborhood, where he becomes convinced Giroux is his ex-wife. Trick or Treats is an uninspired and lifeless slasher, which doesn’t even feature the three B’s the subgenre is known for: boobs, butts, and blood. This one’s staler than an old piece of candy corn. D

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Hellraiser Quartet

Hellraiser – 1987, UK/US, 94m. Director: Clive Barker.

Hellbound: Hellraiser II – 1988, UK, 97m. Director: Tony Randel.

Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth – 1992, UK/US, 97m. Director: Anthony Hickox.

Hellraiser: Bloodline – 1996, UK/US, 85m. Director: Alan Smithee (Kevin Yagher, Joe Chappelle).

HELLRAISER (1987) Horror writer extraordinaire, Clive Barker, made his directorial debut with this audacious adaptation of his own story, The Hellbound Heart, which not only launched a franchise, but created one of horror cinema’s most iconic villains—Pinhead. As portrayed by Doug Bradley, Pinhead (one of many demons called Cenobites, summoned by those who wish to experience pain as pleasure) is different from other movie monsters of the eighties in the sense that he’s smart—and actually scary. But while Pinhead might be Hellraiser‘s most memorable character, he’s not the film’s main antagonist. That role would go to the diabolical (and very human) Frank (Sean Chapman), a dead man who manipulates his brother’s wife, Julia (Clare Higgins), into murdering men so he can steal their life force and be reborn in flesh and blood in order to escape the Cenobites. Bob Keen handled the makeup and other bloody effects and they’re first-rate—including a skinless Frank that gives new meaning to disgusting; a fitting aspect, as Hellraiser is as gruesome as it is good. The movie’s financial success and pop culture status led to multiple sequels, comic books, video games, and an ill-conceived reboot in 2022 that failed to reignite the franchise…for now, at least. B+

HELLBOUND: HELLRAISER II (1988) If any horror film of the 1980s warranted a sequel it was Hellraiser, Clive Barker’s film adaptation of his own novella that introduced such an interesting (albeit gross) world that one movie couldn’t possibly have contained the whole story. Hellbound sees the return of Julia (Clare Higgins), who after being betrayed and dispatched by her lover in the first film, is brought back from the dead by a brain surgeon (Kenneth Cranham) obsessed with finding the Cenobites. Kirsty (Ashley Laurence), survivor of Part 1, goes after Julia by following her into Hell and, in a clever twist, enlisting the help of Pinhead (Doug Bradley) and his army of demonic minions. We get more of a backstory on Pinhead, and how, once a human, he was transformed into a monster. Although he remained an executive producer on Hellbound, Barker handed over the directing reins to Tony Randel who, in all fairness, does just as good (if not better) a job as the author. Maybe not as cutting-edge as the first Hellraiser, Hellbound is nonetheless a wild ride of splattery, black-humored mayhem done efficiently, and—most importantly—grotesquely. A bloody good sequel. B+

HELLRAISER III: HELL ON EARTH (1992) Four years after being (theoretically) killed off in Hellraiser II, everyone’s favorite leather-clad nail enthusiast, Pinhead (Doug Bradley), is back, and this time he’s created a new army of colorful Cenobites. Trapped inside the Hell sculpture that emerged from Julia’s literal deathbed at the end of the last film, Pinhead springs back to life via a splatter of blood, and manipulates a douchebag club owner (Kevin Bernhardt) into bringing him fresh victims so he can enter our plane of existence. A TV journalist (Terry Farrell) investigating the bizarre murders is contacted from another dimension by the human version of Pinhead—an early 20th century British soldier by the name of Elliot Spencer—and told the only way to get rid of his alter ego for good is to destroy the puzzle box that is used to open the gates to Hell (although Hellraiser III seems to have forgotten there were multiple boxes, not just the one, in Part 2). Hellraiser III might not offer a lot in terms of fresh ideas, but it’s got some inventive makeup FX, likable characters, and energetic direction from Waxwork‘s Anthony Hickox. Plus, Pinhead gets more screen time here than he did in the previous two films. More on the cheesy side, but Hellraiser III is a solid entry in the series. B–

HELLRAISER: BLOODLINE (1996) As with any long-running franchise, the makers of the Hellraiser series had written themselves into a corner. What can the series’s central character, Pinhead, do in No. 4 that he hasn’t done many times over in the previous installments? The writers of Bloodline answered this question by offering a story that (unsuccessfully) juggles three plotlines—past, present, and future—in dealing with the origin of the Lament Configuration, and how the maker of the puzzle box forever cursed his family with his invention. Created for a hedonistic 18th Century French aristocrat, the box unleashes a demon by the name of Angelique (Valentina Vargas), who’s kept prisoner by the box’s owner until she can destroy the creator (Bruce Ramsay) and return to Hell. Angelique enlists the help of Pinhead (Doug Bradley) in present-day when she finds the creator’s descendant living in New York City. He’s in possession of his ancestor’s plans of reversing the box’s powers and exterminating Angelique and Pinhead forever—and this is told in flashback via another relative of Ramsay in futuristic 2127! The overly complicated script is really just fodder for Pinhead to do what he does best: ripping people apart, or turning them into Cenobites—something Hell on Earth handled much better. Yet Bloodline isn’t all bad. Bradley is in good form, the special effects are adequate, and there’s even a hell-hound! But it’s clear the series was running out of steam well before the rushed end credits. C

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American Gothic, Black Roses, The Prey

American Gothic – 1987, Canada, 90m. Director: John Hough.

Black Roses – 1988, Canada, 89m. Director: John Fasano.

The Prey – 1983, US, 80m/97m (international version). Director: Edwin Brown.

AMERICAN GOTHIC (1987) Yuppies crash their seaplane onto a remote island owned by fundamentalists Ma (Yvonne De Carlo) and Pa (Rod Steiger), who live in a pre-World War II time warp. Ma and Pa don’t believe in modern conveniences (such as running water or electricity), and treat their middle-aged offspring like children—their eldest, Fanny (Janet Wright), a demented woman with a Little Orphan Annie perm, believes she’s about to turn twelve. Fanny also happens to be a psycho and enjoys killing off the newcomers with the help of her equally disturbed brother (Michael J. Pollard). When Fanny doesn’t finish the job, Ma takes her extra-long knitting needles to send one of the wicked outsiders to Hell. The tables are turned when sole survivor Cynthia (Sarah Torgov) is revealed to be just as crazy as the rest of the lot, and does some housecleaning by laying waste to the family homestead. American Gothic won’t win any awards for originality, but it’s a colorful little film with rich characters and an atmospheric backwoods setting. B

BLACK ROSES (1988) The uptight parents of rock ‘n’ roll-loving teens are put on high alert when heavy metal hair band Black Roses breezes into town. Conservatives protest the band in fear of their children being turned into demoralized fiends, or worse—Democrats! And wouldn’t you know it? The members of Black Roses are actually demons with a mission to transform the young and impressionable into anarchists, degenerates, and murderers. A father (Vincent Pastore) is eaten by a monstrous stereo speaker (death by metal?) after berating his rocker son for getting his ear pierced. A nagging mom is run over with a car driven by her teen son, right before another (Frank Dietz) executes his father with a gun, post-coitus with a demon sporting teased hair and Penthouse-sized breasts. A student tries to fellate her teacher and turns into a deformed monster with sharp teeth. Egghead John Martin tries to stop the massacre by setting the band’s stage on fire, resulting in Black Roses shedding their human forms and showing the audience their true, hideous skin—rubbery makeup effects abound. Good wins in the end, but not before our heroes turn on the boob tube to see everyone’s favorite metal band from Hell back on tour and selling out Madison Square Garden. An amusing satire for the MTV generation. C+

THE PREY (1983) Filmed in 1979, this woodsy-terrain slasher originally predated similarly themed Don’t Go in the Woods (1981), The Forest (1982), and The Final Terror (1983), but because of distribution problems The Prey film wasn’t released until years later. The movie might have been conceived first, but in terms of quality The Prey doesn’t have much to offer in its story of backpackers being stalked by a disfigured woodsman. Dull actors portray even duller characters who occupy the dull narrative—although there are a few gory moments to cherish. A man gets his head sliced off with a double-edged axe in the opening, a camper gets his throat ripped open by the killer’s gnarled fingers, and another has his head twisted 180 degrees. An alternate cut of the movie (which runs nearly 20 minutes longer) includes additional footage depicting the maniac’s origins, and a couple of softcore sex scenes featuring porn actor Eric Edwards that were filmed without director Edwin Brown’s consent. The Prey isn’t the worst axe-wielding slasher out there, but it’s far from the best. C

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Attack of the Beast Creatures, The Hollywood Strangler…, Stripped to Kill

Attack of the Beast Creatures – 1985, US, 82m. Director: Michael Stanley.

The Hollywood Strangler Meets the Skid Row Slasher – 1979, US, 72m. Director: Ray Dennis Steckler

Stripped to Kill – 1987, US, 88m. Director: Katt Shea.

ATTACK OF THE BEAST CREATURES (1985) (AKA: Hell Island) Survivors of a capsized cruise liner wash ashore a woodsy island in hopes of finding food and shelter. Instead the characters are met with doom in the form of vicious, pint-sized critters that resemble the Zuni fetish doll from Trilogy of Terror (1975). Several people are attacked the first night in a choreographed scene that would make Jim Henson proud. The creatures prove they’re just as smart as the humans by sabotaging the survivors’ lifeboat and stranding them on the island. Filmed in Fairfield, Connecticut in 1983 and barely released in later years, this clever independent production lacks competent acting but delivers plenty of gory delights thanks to energetic direction. The film’s saving graces are its low budget puppet FX, which—considering they were executed in the wilderness—are impressive. B–

THE HOLLYWOOD STRANGLER MEETS THE SKID ROW SLASHER (1979) A woman-hating photographer (Pierre Agostino)—whose babbling voiceover is of the Travis Bickel variety—strangles his pin-up subjects because they remind him of his cheating ex. A man-hating bookstore owner (Carolyn Brandt) slashes vagrants and drunks for bringing down the property value of her not-exactly-thriving business. Eventually, Agostino and Brandt cross paths within their seedy downtown locale and realize they were just made for each other. Yet another primitive opus from Ray Dennis Steckler (The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed Up Zombies), and featuring all of the director’s trademark chintz, including the use of stock music and post-production audio recording. This is about as exciting as watching… well, a Ray Dennis Steckler movie. Which is to say not exciting at all. D+

STRIPPED TO KILL (1987) The murder of an exotic dancer sends a pretty undercover detective (Key Lenz) into the world of stripping in order to catch the killer. Proving she has the body but not the skill, Lenz lands a job at a seedy strip joint operated by Norman Fell and frequented by a creep (Peter Scranton) who leaves origami flowers for the strippers before they meet their ends. The next dancer is strung up on the back of a semi rig and dragged to her death. Lenz believes the victims were part of a lesbian love triangle but is proven wrong. Lenz gets in over her head, but as these movies usually go, is brought back to her senses after getting bedded by a man—the very cop (Greg Evigan) who got her into this mess to begin with. Strong acting and some actual surprises help the film rise above its mediocre screenplay, although the emphasis on naked bodies over blood and guts gives the film a sleazier vibe. Followed by Stripped to Kill 2: Live Girls. C+

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The Stepfather and Sequels

The Stepfather – 1987, Canada/US, 89m. Director: Joseph Rubens.

Stepfather 2: Make Room for Daddy – 1989, US, 93m. Director: Jeff Burr.

Stepfather 3 – 1992, US, 105m. Director: Guy Magar.

THE STEPFATHER (1987) Clean-cut suburbanite Jerry Blake (Terry O’Quinn) is a loving family man by day—and a psychopathic killer by night. When things get too disagreeable on the home front, Jerry takes a knife to his wife and kids, changes his identity, and marries into a new family with the prospect of turning them into the American Dream. A slip of the tongue at a neighborhood barbecue sends Jerry into a rage witnessed by his new stepdaughter (Jill Schoelen)—which eventually escalates to murder. A slick and chilling film, The Stepfather relies on suspense (especially in the white-knuckle climax) to make its story work, which is highlighted by a genuinely scary performance by O’Quinn. The film was whitewashed into a kid-friendly remake in 2009 featuring Nip/Tuck‘s Dylan Walsh as the stepfather. O’Quinn returned to the role a few years later in Stepfather 2 but smartly bailed before the concept turned into another gimmicky slasher series with the inevitable Stepfather 3. B+

STEPFATHER 2: MAKE ROOM FOR DADDY (1989) Serial monogamist Jerry Blake (Terry O’Quinn) survived his stab wounds at the end of Stepfather 1 and now resides in a high-security hospital where, after unloading a bunch of hogwash on his psychiatrist, kills the man and escapes to California. Posing as a marriage counselor, Jerry immediately sets his sights on pretty divorcee Meg Foster as his next bride-to-be—that is until Foster’s ex comes back into the picture, which has Jerry bringing out the cutlery. Suspense is replaced with a higher body count as Jerry annihilates half of the cast with knives, needles, glass bottles, and an industrial car crusher (although the film is relatively low key in the gore department). O’Quinn is good but has little to do other than feed into audience’s expectations of his character turning into another quip-throwing slasher madman. The film’s director, Jeff Burr, would go on to helm Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre 3. C+

STEPFATHER 3 (1992) Everyone’s favorite psychopathic stepdad is back in this less-than-stellar made-for-cable sequel featuring The Waltons‘ Robert Wightman in the title role previously occupied by Terry O’Quinn. Still obsessed with the idea of creating the perfect family unit, mass murderer Jerry Blake (Wightman) undergoes facial reconstructive surgery—his survival and escape from the events of Stepfather 2 are never explained—and changes his identity to Keith Grant. Pretending to be a gardener, Grant eventually courts and marries suburban single mom Priscilla Barnes and her wheelchair-bound son (David Tom), whose hobby (and foreshadowing) is solving internet murder mysteries. Barnes’s ex comes sniffing around and Grant takes a shovel to his noggin before burying him under a flower bed in the backyard. When things get too hot under the collar at home, Grant plans his next marital project with new-in-town divorcee Season Hubley, and plots the murder of Barnes and Tom. Grant’s actions are thwarted by Tom who, in the incredulous climax, manages to lift himself out of the wheelchair and toss Grant into an industrial wood chipper—and sparing the world from having to endure a Stepfather 4. C–

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A Bay of Blood, Mortuary, Women’s Prison Massacre

A Bay of Blood – 1971, Italy, 84m. Director: Mario Bava.

Mortuary – 1982, US, 93m. Director: Howard Avedis.

Women’s Prison Massacre – 1983, France/Italy, 89m. Director: Bruno Mattei.

A BAY OF BLOOD (1971) (AKA: Bloodbath; Twitch of the Death Nerve) A man kills his Countess wife only to subsequently get dispatched himself by a prowler. The deaths spark a fight over a lucrative piece of land involving a slimy real estate mogul (Chris Aram) and the Countess’s money-hungry daughter (Claudine Auger), as well as more murders. A quartet of teens partying at a nearby lake are slaughtered in gory fashion, including a couple who are, in the film’s most famous scene, impaled together while having sex. The characters are designed to be red herrings and aren’t terribly interesting. Luckily, the kills are highly inventive and gruesome—the discovery of a waterlogged body being eaten by an octopus is particularly gnarly. A Bay of Blood doesn’t have much to offer in the way of story, but as an early example of what would become the modern slasher movie, it delivers the goods. The black humored ending is delightful. B

MORTUARY (1982) The mysterious death of a prominent doctor leads to a series of murders committed by the unhinged son of the local mortician. The doctor’s teen daughter (Mary McDonough) thinks her father was murdered, but nobody believes her, including her mom (Lynda Day George) who earlier was seen at a Black Mass with the mortician (Christopher George). A mortuary employee stumbles upon one of the ceremonies and is subsequently impaled with an embalming trocar. Another victim is repeatedly stabbed to death with the same tool while sleeping in bed. Mortuary is highlighted by good acting and a creepy atmosphere, but the plot is often convoluted and rarely makes sense. The screenplay tries for a whodunit angle but the identity of the killer is obvious to anyone who’s seen even just one slasher movie. Look for a pre-Weird Science Bill Paxton in one of his earliest roles. C+

WOMEN’S PRISON MASSACRE (1983) A haggard Eastern European jailhouse is home to several female prisoners who are subjected to daily torture at the hands of the place’s sadistic correctional officers. Things are made worse when four escaped male convicts turn the prison into a war zone when their demands aren’t met by outside authorities. The scumbags waste no time in raping the ladies (prisoners and officers) repeatedly before the worst of the escapees (Gabriele Tinti) forces two of the women to play a game of Russian Roulette that ends with brains being sprayed all over and into the mouth of Tinti. A lesbian inserts a razor blade inside her vagina and tricks one of the men into raping her after she discovers he murdered her lover. Virtually everyone else is killed when a tactical team storms the building and shreds most of the cast with machine guns, including the evil warden (Lorraine De Selle) and the dirty district attorney (Jacques Stany) responsible for putting innocent protagonist Laura Gemser into the “big house.” This swan song to Italy’s Black Emmanuelle series might rank high in the sex and violence category, but in terms of acting, directing, and writing, Women’s Prison Massacre is strictly the pits. D