Category: Capsule Reviews

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Abby, Headhunter, Nightmare City

Abby – 1974, US, 89m. Director: William Girdler.

Headhunter – 1988, South Africa, 92m. Director: Francis Schaeffer.

Nightmare City – 1980, Italy/Spain, 88m. Director: Umberto Lenzi.

ABBY (1974) During an excavation in Africa, an archeologist (William Marshall) unwittingly releases a malevolent demon that turns his daughter-in-law, Abby (Carol Speed), into a hot-tempered, sex-starved maniac. Abby’s possession is gradual, and forces the young woman to perform bizarre acts of self-harm with a carving knife, lose her temper at church by attacking a man, and scare an elderly neighbor to death. Marshall, who moonlights as a priest, is called back to American to perform an exorcism, with predictably messy results. If the plot sounds strangely familiar it’s because Abby is one of the first of the Exorcist rip-offs—it was released less than a year after the William Friedkin film. Abby was successful enough at recreating the ’73 movie that Warner Bros. sued American International Pictures (the company that released Abby theatrically) and had the film removed from theaters. Whether Abby is a rip-off or an African American remake is up for debate—but there’s no denying it’s a fun movie that, as of this writing, is commercially unavailable. B–

HEADHUNTER (1988) Some sort of spirit-demon is running around Miami, chopping off the heads of African immigrants who’ve escaped to America to dodge a voodoo curse. Straight-laced cop Kay Lenz and her hot-headed partner Wayne Crawford are assigned to the case, which is complicated by Crawford’s lack of emotional stability due to a dissolving marriage. Lenz and Crawford seek advice from a local shaman and expert on African religion—he’s later found beheaded. The spirit possesses the ability to mimic voices and sets a trap for Lenz in a scene exhibiting atmosphere and tension that’s not to be found in the rest of the film. The heroes ultimately find themselves at a complete loss and, in a desperate act of survival, use axes and chainsaws to dismember the demon in the bloody climax. Had the filmmakers pumped as much energy into the first 80 minutes as they did the frantic ending, Headhunter could have been a tasty little treat. They didn’t, and it’s not. Shot mostly in South Africa. C

NIGHTMARE CITY (1980) (AKA: City of the Walking Dead; Nightmare in a Contaminated City) A military airplane exposed to toxic radiation turns its commuters into disfigured blood-eaters in this hilariously over-the-top European production. The contamination spreads as the zombies annihilate everyone in their path, including a bunch of Solid Gold-like dancers who are, in the movie’s funniest scene, slaughtered on live TV. The ghouls here are a more intelligent form of zombie—most of the walking dead are smarter than the living characters—as they go about cutting phone lines and using machine guns and other weapons to take down their prey. One zombie manually lowers a stalled elevator to a floor full of his hungry comrades who turn the lift into an all-you-can-eat buffet. The film culminates in a battle of humans vs. zombies at an amusement park that’s surprisingly intense—and apparently just the dream of the protagonist (Hugo Stiglitz), who wakes up just as his girlfriend is about to meet her maker. An appropriate ending to this utterly bizarre but very entertaining hack job. B

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Legend of Boggy Creek and Sequels

The Legend of Boggy Creek – 1972, US, 87m. Director: Charles B. Pierce.

Return to Boggy Creek – 1977, US, 84m. Director: Tom Moore.

Boggy Creek II: And the Legend Continues – 1983, US, 92m. Director: Charles B. Pierce.

THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK (1972) Independent filmmaker Charles B. Pierce single-handedly created a cottage industry with this mockumentary about a Bigfoot-like creature that stalks the surrounding swamps of a small Arkansas town. The film’s gimmick is its documentary-style presentation, featuring interviews with fishermen, hunters, and other citizens who claim to have encountered the “Fouke Monster.” Many of the stories are recreated quite effectively—the film’s grainy, low-budget quality give these scenes an unnerving detail. Although often hokey, it’s Boggy Creek‘s sense of realism that makes the movie work, and provides an element that would ultimately be influential on the television series In Search Of… as well as the found-footage subgenre revolutionized with The Blair Witch Project. A surprise hit, this was followed by an unauthorized sequel in 1977 (Return to Boggy Creek), and a legitimate one directed by Pierce in 1983, apply titled Boggy Creek II. Ironically, neither subsequent film was made in documentary fashion. B

RETURN TO BOGGY CREEK (1977) Soggy, family-friendly sequel to Charles B. Pierce’s creepy Legend of Boggy Creek (1972) about the adventures of a Sasquatch monster haunting a fishing community. In the Pierce film, the aggressive creature is referred to as the Fouke Monster because of its close proximity to Fouke, Arkansas. In Return to Boggy Creek the creature is called “Big Bay-Ty” and is more of a misunderstood gentle giant that goes out of its way to rescue a trio of kids caught in a storm while on a wilderness excursion. Competently acted—Dawn Wells of Gilligan’s Island and Dana Plato of Diff’rent Strokes play mother and daughter—but about as exciting as watching paint dry. Years later, Pierce himself would make his own sequel with Boggy Creek II: And the Legend Continues, which completely (and wisely) ignores this movie. D+

BOGGY CREEK II: AND THE LEGEND CONTINUES (1983) An anthropology professor and three students investigate claims of the Boggy Creek monster in this direct sequel to the 1972 cult favorite The Legend of Boggy Creek. The sequel ignores the documentary-style presentation of the earlier film but offers flashback sequences of creature attacks narrated by the professor (director Charles B. Pierce), none of which contain the atmospheric effectiveness of Legend of Boggy Creek—there are so many close-ups of the monster that it’s obvious it’s an actor in a mask. The scenes with the monster have an undeniably cheesy charm, but whenever the beast isn’t on screen the movie plods. And 92 minutes is a lot of Boggy time to fill. Better than Return to Boggy Creek, but not by much. C

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The Alien Dead, The Great Alligator, The Sinister Urge

The Alien Dead – 1980, US, 74m. Director: Fred Olen Ray.

The Great Alligator – 1979, Italy, 89m. Director: Sergio Marinto.

The Sinister Urge – 1960, US, 70m. Director: Edward D. Wood. Jr.

THE ALIEN DEAD (1980) The residents of Deep South swamp country are turned into cannibalistic ghouls after coming into contact with a crashed meteor. The first victims are a couple of twang-talkin’ gator poachers who are pulled into the water and resurface with their faces eaten off. A man chopping wood is ripped apart by a quartet of zombies; his wife later stumbles upon his top half being devoured by the cannibals. She’s bumped off in the movie’s most infamous scene, impaled with a three-pronged pitchfork—as four prongs come out her back. The redneck sheriff (Buster Crabbe) thinks it’s the work of a rogue gator, despite the fact there hasn’t been a gator sighting in weeks—because they’ve been eaten by the zombies! Former Flash Gordon Crabbe flubs his lines; bombshell Linda Lewis emerges from the swamp soaking wet and a few seconds later is bone-dry; several of the alien dead have mutated gray faces, yet their arms and hands retain a normal skin complexion; a victim laughs while being chomped on by a zombie. In other words, it’s a typical Fred Olen Ray production, which is atypical of most other filmmakers. Still, this is an enjoyable slack-jawed blunder that would pair nicely with the similar bargain basement production, Bloodeaters (1980). B–

THE GREAT ALLIGATOR (1979) Tourists at a South Asian resort are gobbled up by a large crocodile in this Italian potpourri of Jaws, Piranha, and many other eco-terrors of the late seventies. Fashion photographer Claudio Cassinelli seeks help from a jungle tribe that worships the massive reptile as a god after one of Cassinelli’s models is eaten by the beast. Mel Ferrer, who plays the Mayor Vaughn-like owner of the resort, dismisses the killer croc theory and ends up turning his customers into croc chow. James Bond beauty Barbara Bach spends most of the film wet and bra-less, making her the perfect sacrificial offering for the great crocodile, the creature effect for which looks like a static, plastic toy. The Great Alligator might not be as bad as the similar Crocodile (1979), but it’s also not nearly as much fun as the gorier Killer Crocodile (1989). C–

THE SINISTER URGE (1960) Before he moved into the world of softcore porn, Z-movie king Edward D. Wood, Jr. took one last stab at “legitimate” filmmaking with this highly moronic “thriller” about a deranged idiot (Dino Fantini in a ridiculous pompadour) whose lust for killing is triggered by smut films. The underground smut racket is run by a tough-talkin’ bombshell (Jean Fontaine) who’s more concerned with her business than the safety of her models, who are being bumped off in record numbers. Narratively feeble and atrociously acted, but not containing any of the campy charm of Wood’s earlier duds. This makes Reefer Madness look good by comparison. A real stinkaroo. F

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Bloody Murder, The Burning, Rats: Night of Terror

Bloody Murder – 2000, US, 87m. Director: Ralph E. Portillo.

The Burning – 1981, US, 91m. Director: Tony Maylam.

Rats: Night of Terror – 1984, France/Italy, 97m. Director: Bruno Mattei, Claudio Fragasso.

BLOODY MURDER (2000) Teenagers readying a summer camp for the upcoming season are menaced by a hockey mask-wearing killer in this micro-budgeted homage to slasher movies of the 1980s, specifically Friday the 13th. In fact, Bloody Murder follows the Friday mold to a tee, including the camp’s history of unsolved murders, the legend of an unstoppable killer, and the crazy old doomsayer who warns the teens of inevitable death. In typical fashion, the teens ignore the adults and are picked off by the maniac—and that’s where Bloody Murder unfortunately degenerates into yet another Scream wannabe as characters start referencing horror movies while trying to figure out who the mystery killer is by blaming each other. But unlike the energetic teens in Scream (or even Friday the 13th), the ones in Bloody Murder are so devoid of personality they blend together; the only way of telling them apart is by the clothes they’re wearing. Despite its title, the film features a substantial lack of blood, which isn’t even the worst aspect of Bloody Murder—it’s deathly dull. D

THE BURNING (1981) The campers of Camp Stonewater fall victim to a sadistic killer who wields a pair of extra-large hedge shears and has an insatiable appetite for young blood. The madman (a former camp custodian who, years earlier, was hideously scarred by fire as the result of a teen prank gone awry) isn’t unmasked until the final five minutes, but his deformity is the gruesome creation of Tom Savini and won’t disappoint splatter fans. Up until then, the killer (Lou David) hacks up the majority of the cast, including soon-to-be famous Fisher Stevens, Holly Hunter, and Jason Alexander of Seinfeld fame (Stevens gets it the worst by having his fingers severed and his throat sliced open). In typical slasher fashion, David gets his in the end when the hero slams an axe into his head, then lights the guy on fire for the second time. What sets The Burning apart from other Friday the 13th clones is that it’s actually good—a fact that has kept the film a fan favorite since the eighties. The Burning was ignored during its original release because its direct competitor, Friday the 13th Part 2, opened the week before. The movie is now considered a genre classic. Atmospheric and genuinely scary—a must-see for the slasher completist. B+

RATS: NIGHT OF TERROR (1984) (AKA: The Rats) I can only assume the makers of this doomsday bloodbath are fans of The Road Warrior and Escape from New York since the majority of their characters are leather-clad survivalists living in a post-apocalyptic world. Unfortunately for the viewer, the filmmakers (Bruno Mattei and Claudio Fragasso) are not George Miller or John Carpenter—Mattei and Fragasso previously collaborated on the disposable Romero ripoff, Hell of the Living Dead (1980)—and Rats: Night of Terror, while admittedly fun, is far removed from quality storytelling. A small group of bandits in 225 A.B. (After the Bomb) discover an abandoned laboratory crawling with flesh-eating rats. One rat chews its way into a woman, and to the horror of her friends emerges from inside her mouth. Another has his face clawed to a bloody pulp and is set afire by a flamethrower. But the best gag comes in the form of a walking corpse the rats use as a marionette before exploding out of the dead guy’s back, a nice touch to this dumb but entertaining European trash epic. B–

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Blood Beach, High Desert Kill, Tower of Evil

Blood Beach – 1980, US, 85m. Director: Jeffrey Bloom.

High Desert Kill – 1989, US, 90m. Director: Harry Falk.

Tower of Evil – 1972, UK, 89m. Director: Jim O’Connolly.

BLOOD BEACH (1980) A subterranean creature is pulling beachgoers into the sand and to their demise in this cheap offshoot of Jaws. The public is put on alert after a dog is found with its head bitten off, but that doesn’t stop the masses from frolicking on the seashore and meeting a bloody end, the majority of victims being bikini-clad beauties. The movie’s high body count doesn’t keep Blood Beach from feeling stale, although the film is not without humor—the scene where a rapist gets his schlong torn off by the beast is amusing. When we finally see the creature it comes off as an oversized Venus flytrap. The movie’s tagline—”Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water… you can’t get to it!”—turns out to be the best thing about this snoozer, which was a mild box office success when released in 1981 by New York City distributer Jerry Gross (I Spit on Your Grave, The Boogey Man). C–

HIGH DESERT KILL (1989) Three friends (Marc Singer, Micah Grant, Anthony Geary) get sucked into an alien mind control experiment while on a hunting excursion in the New Mexico desert. A lack of wildlife is the first sign of danger our callous protagonists ignore. The men meet an old timer (Chuck Conners) whose horses mysteriously disappear into thin air. Two female campers become sexed up nymphs and turn the men’s camp site into an orgy of drinking and fornicating—viewers expecting some titillation in the form of T&A will be disappointed because High Desert Kill was made for network television. Upon returning from hunting Singer stumbles upon his friends eating the raw remains of a bear. The alien takes the form of Grant’s deceased uncle and watches from a distance as the characters become increasingly paranoid and go for each other’s throats—until Scientist Geary realizes they’re “rats in a cage.” When rifles don’t work the men use mind warfare against the alien in the foolish climax. Up to that point the movie is engaging, well acted, and nicely paced. B–

TOWER OF EVIL (1972) (AKA: Beyond the Fog; Horror of Snape Island) The inexplicable massacre of several people on Snape Island ignites interest in a group of treasure seekers who believe the place is loaded with gold. Once they arrive shore they too are systematically slaughtered. The main plot is briefly overlaid with flashbacks of the earlier murders so the viewer isn’t kept waiting around for the gory action, which the film delivers in spades. A man is pinned to the wall with a spear right before his girlfriend is beheaded—her head is later seen rolling down a staircase in a genuinely shocking moment. Another man is butchered with a scythe after skinny dipping, his hand getting lopped off in extreme close-up. The decomposing corpse of the lighthouse keeper’s wife is found next to a smashed radio and eliminating any chance for the characters to call for help. Tower of Evil is a nonsensical but highly atmospheric splatter flick that gained some notoriety when it was reissued in 1980 as Beyond the Fog in order to capitalize off a certain John Carpenter film. B–

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Fade to Black, The Last Horror Film, Watchers

Fade to Black – 1980, US, 102m. Director: Vernon Zimmerman.

The Last Horror Film – 1982, US, 87m. Director: David Winter.

Watchers – 1988, Canada/US, 91m. Director: Jon Hess.

FADE TO BLACK (1980) Movie lover and perpetual screw-up Eric Binford (Dennis Christopher) grows tired of being everybody’s punching bag—although, frankly, he deserves it—and switches careers from stock boy to serial killer. Eric’s first victim is his wheelchair-bound aunt, who he pushes down a flight of stairs after she destroys his film projector showing Henry Hathaway’s Kiss of Death. Eric adopts the personalities of his favorite movie characters (Cody Jarrett from White Heat, Count Dracula, etc.) and goes after those who make his life hell, including a brutish coworker (Mickey Rourke), and a stuck-up prostitute who embarrassed Eric for a lack of funds. In the film’s most ridiculous scene, Eric embodies the personality of James Cagney from the gangster film Taxi by driving around in a 1931 Pontiac and mowing down a room full of people with a Tommy gun and quoting, “You dirty rat!” How a flake like Eric obtained a working Tommy gun is anyone’s guess. Fade to Black is supposed to be a comedy but it’s too derivative and silly to be funny, and comes off as refried junk food for those with short attention spans. C–

THE LAST HORROR FILM (1982) Vinny Durand (Joe Spinell), a delusional, movie-obsessed cab driver, travels to the Cannes Film Festival, where anyone who gets in the way of his dream of making a horror movie with actress Jana Bates (Caroline Munro) meets an untimely death. A pompous director gets his head cut off after denying Vinny access to Jana. A producer is trapped in a screening room and hacked to pieces with a hatchet. Vinny finally gets a hold of Jana, but she manages to escape and runs into the streets where hordes of pedestrians cheer on what they believe is a publicity stunt—which causes Vinny to stop and bow to his “audience.” The Last Horror Film is a slasher movie but it’s also a self-reflective parody that satirizes not only the horror genre but Hollywood and fame, and does it fairly well. While abundant, the splatter isn’t quite up to par with Maniac (1980)—Last Horror Film was apparently promoted in parts of Europe as Maniac 2!—but there is a gruesome disemboweling, courtesy of a chainsaw; an appropriate gore-filled ending to this fun, if not entirely convincing, spectacle. B–

WATCHERS (1988) A genetically modified humanoid designed for killing escapes from an experimental laboratory along with its psychically-linked dog. The creature smashes into a barn and mauls a farmer to death while the golden retriever runs into the arms of a teen (Corey Haim), who hides the dog not only from the monster but from the secret organization tracking it. The humanoid hunts Haim to a high school and slaughters a teacher and custodian—the “watcher” has a penchant for gouging out its victims eyes—before the local police wise up to the sight of mangled bodies and bring out the shotguns. The stone-cold tracker (an appropriately cast Michael Ironside) of the creature is so hellbent on keeping the experiment a secret that he cuts the sheriff’s throat with a shard of glass for asking too many questions. Haim holds up in a woodsy shack with the pooch, and acts as if he’s in a Rambo movie by tossing homemade grenades and Molotov cocktails at the beast (the makeup for which looks like a shag rug glued onto a baboon mask). Mildly entertaining, but only ever slightly. Oscar-winning screenwriter Paul Haggis (Million Dollar Baby) had his name credited as Paul Freed after removing himself from Watchers during the 1988 writers strike. C+

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Happy Birthday to Me, Hell’s Trap, Macabre

Happy Birthday to Me – 1981, Canada, 110m. Director: J. Lee Thompson.

Hell’s Trap – 1989, Mexico, 90m. Director: Pedro Galindo III.

Macabre – 1980, Italy, 89m. Director: Lamberto Bava.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME (1981) An overbearingly silly Halloween/Friday the 13th hybrid that actually has more in common with Scooby-Doo—but on a less entertaining level. The snotty high school friends of distraught Virginia (Melissa Sue Anderson), who’s still traumatized over a childhood incident, are being slaughtered in the days leading up to her birthday. A French exchange student has his face shoved into the spinning wheel of a dirt bike after stealing a pair of Virginia’s underwear. The jock of the group gets crushed under his own bench press. The best death in the film features a shish kebab skewer, complete with marinated steak chunks, being shoved into a victim’s mouth. The culprit removes the bodies after each kill and, judging from the speed with which they wipe down the crime scene should be placed in the Guinness Book of World Records. The fact that a majority of their friends have disappeared doesn’t stop Virginia and gang from partying and acting like general nincompoops—especially Virginia, who spends most of the movie pouting and/or complaining. The most convoluted part of the screenplay comes during the third act when the killer’s identity and motivation are revealed in a scene that will have you moaning in disbelief. Polished direction by Hollywood vet J. Lee Thompson (Cape Fear), but in the end you’ll feel like you’ve just been ripped off by a pro. C–

HELL’S TRAP (1989) A group of not-too-bright individuals competing in a bear-hunting stunt end up prey to a deranged killer stalking the area. The masked madman uses a series of tunnels to sneak up on his victims, and an arsenal of weapons to maim them with, including a Freddy Krueger-like razor glove and the old standby, bow-and-arrow. The survivors try to escape via pickup but are thwarted by the killer, whose quick and agile movements would give even John Rambo competition. Despite being supplied with rifles, the callous characters fail to eliminate the threat: an ex-soldier of war who believes he’s still in Vietnam—who, when the slashing fails, brings out a machine gun in an appropriately blood-spattered sequence. There’s nothing particularly exceptional about Hell’s Trap, but the film is made with a high amount of energy and style that keeps things moving at a good pace up until its (literally) explosive finale. In all, an enjoyably cockamamie Mexican slasher. B–

MACABRE (1980) An adulterous housewife (Bernice Stegers)—who left her children home alone so she could spend the afternoon in coitus—is put through the wringer when both her son and lover die on the same day. Stegers then moves into the apartment she used for her secret sexual rendezvous and slowly loses her marbles while, like Norman Bates with his mother, continues to carry out a relationship with her deceased lover. The place’s blind landlord (Stanko Molnar) forms an infatuation with Stegers, which turns to jealously after nightly sounds of lovemaking emanate from her apartment. This Italian psychological chiller has Hitchcockian vibes—thanks to the last reel’s shocking reveal—but it’s really nothing more than a lurid (and entertaining) exploitation vehicle made for the splatter crowd. Director Lamberto Bava (Demons) is the son of legendary filmmaker Mario Bava, and judging from this polished production, the kid learned well. B–

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A Blade in the Dark, Food of the Gods 2, Murder Rock

A Blade in the Dark – 1983, Italy 108m. Director: Lamberto Bava.

Food of the Gods Part 2 – 1989, Canada, 91m. Director: Damien Lee.

Murder Rock: Dancing Death – 1984, Italy, 93m. Director: Lucio Fulci.

A BLADE IN THE DARK (1983) (AKA: House of the Dark Staircase) A novice composer, Bruno (Andrea Occhipinti), writing the score to a new horror movie is thrust into a real life nightmare when a woman is killed by a slasher outside his villa. The body vanishes but like David Hemmings in Blow-Up, Bruno becomes obsessed with the mystery and believes clues to the identity of the killer can be found in the last reel of the horror film he’s working on. A second woman is murdered by the maniac in the bathroom—the bathtub is painted red when her throat is sliced open with a carving knife—and the body again disappears. This Italian, Hitchcock-influenced chiller is accentuated by its Argento-like style but often feels padded in the story department, most likely the result of the movie’s conception as a television miniseries before it was denied by the censors and released theatrically. As it is, A Blade in the Dark is a watchable if routine thriller that should please giallo aficionados and gore fans alike. B–

FOOD OF THE GODS PART 2 (1989) (AKA: Gnaw: Food of the Gods 2) An experimental growth hormone grows out of whack and turns its test subjects (the common rat) into oversized beasts. The mutated rodents escape from a university lab and terrorize the campus by turning the population into rat chow. Scientist Paul Coufos’s warnings of danger are ignored by the campus dean, who’s more concerned with the grand opening of the school’s Olympic-sized swimming pool than by the student body being devoured by giant vermin. This subplot leads into the movie’s most memorable scene, where a group of synchronized swimmers are attacked Jaws-style. The film’s gore level is fairly high as body parts are severed and faces are graphically chewed off—one guy gets bitten on the ass while taking a leak in some bushes. The filmmakers try to offset the splatter by having the annoying girlfriend of Coufos continually lecturing him on the immorality of animal testing. Coufos eventually uses “The Pied Piper of Hamelin” to lure the rats to their demise in a sequence that reaches new heights in stupidity. Real rats are placed in miniature sets and are mostly convincing but the effects aren’t really any better than the same method used in the first Food of the Gods (1976), which has nothing to do with this dubious, in-name only sequel. D

MURDER ROCK: DANCING DEATH (1984) Competition at a New York dance academy is murder when the student body dwindles from the activities of a killer. The school’s star pupil is stabbed to death in the shower room, after which her moping boyfriend causes a scene during rehearsal by becoming the film’s red herring. The next student (who, like Jennifer Beals in Flashdance, moonlights as an adult entertainer) is strangled in her apartment—the maniac even kills the victim’s parakeet by sticking a pin in it. The massacred students doesn’t concern the school’s director (Olga Karlatos), who’s too busy lusting after a washed up B-model (Ray Lovelock) with an obvious link to her traumatizing past involving a hit-and-run. The lead detective spends more time chewing the scenery than solving the crimes, and prolongs this dramatically inept murder mystery to the point of exhaustion. By the time the killer is revealed viewers are more likely to have fallen asleep than be on the edge of their seats. A movie in need of a brain, and working light bulbs. One of Lucio Fulci’s worst. D+

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April Fool’s Day, Basket Case, The Church

April Fool’s Day – 1986, Canada/US, 89m. Director: Fred Walton.

Basket Case – 1982, US, 91m. Director: Frank Henenlotter.

The Church – 1989, Italy, 102m. Director: Michael Soavi.

APRIL FOOL’S DAY (1986) A practical joke gone horrible awry sets the tone for this Agatha Christie-inspired slasher. Friends partying on a private island for spring break are done in by a killer who may or may not be the demented escapee twin of the wealthy hostess (Deborah Foreman). Drinking and flirting turns to worry and panic when people start inexplicably disappearing, including the trickster (Griffin O’Neal) whose earlier prank sent a ferryman to the hospital. Or is it all just an elaborate hoax? The screenplay spends more time on character and mystery than bloodshed, and in doing so delivers a solid thriller that balances suspense with laughs. The film’s “is-it-real?” scenario is, in a way, a parody of a subgenre that often took itself a bit too seriously. The good cast also helps bring the story to life, especially Friday the 13th alumna (and fan favorite) Amy Steel, as well as eighties regulars Clayton Rohner (I, Madman), Deborah Goodrich (Just One of the Guys), Ken Olandt (Summer School), and Tom Wilson of Back to the Future fame. It underperformed at the box office, but April Fool’s Day eventually gained a wider audience through repeat viewings on late night television and is now considered a cult classic—and comes highly recommended. Director Fred Walton previously helmed the 1979 sleeper When a Stranger Calls. B+

BASKET CASE (1982) A young man named Duane (Kevin Van Hentenryck) arrives in New York City to find the doctors who separated him from his conjoined twin brother, Belial—a one-foot tall, deformed creature with a thirst for revenge. Belial immediately goes about tearing off the faces of the doctors who wronged him and Duane, as well as anyone who gets in their way, which includes a plethora of seedy city types. Basket Case‘s minuscule budget is quite noticeable but ironically it adds flavor to the film’s gruesome atmosphere, something its bigger budgeted and slicker sequels lack. In fact, the film’s vulgar, grand guignol vibe plays extremely well with director Frank Henenlotter’s dark sense of humor, which is pumped into many of Belial’s gore-drenched escapades—including when one of the doctors gets a taste of her own medicine by having her face pulverized with a half-dozen scalpels. A twisted little gem, not to be missed. B+

THE CHURCH (1989) The restoration of a large cathedral uncovers the sinister truth behind the place’s nefarious history. Built over the mass grave of murdered 12th century villagers by a superstitious sect known as the Teutonic Order, the church becomes infused with evil powers and traps a group of employees and tourists within its structure. When a librarian (Tomas Arana) breaks open a seal in the basement, he unleashes a demonic force which subsequently possesses and turns him into a moody dope who incessantly pounds the “6” on his typewriter. Arana infects more people, turning them into demons until the place becomes a regular monster jamboree. One of the characters suffering from demonitis takes his own life by impaling himself on a jackhammer. Random characters try to find a way out through the labyrinthine dwelling but meet gruesome ends, including an insufferable bonehead who digs through to the underground transit system only to get her face splattered across the windshield of a train. In a rip-off of Rosemary’s Baby, a woman (Barbara Cupisti) lies naked on an altar surrounded by Satan-worshippers and is raped by the Devil himself. What could all of this mean? Why it’s yet another stylish but empty supernatural melodrama from the reigning king of Italian supernatural melodrama, Michael Soavi, this time aided by producer/co-writer Dario Argento. Good special effects and use of sound, but in the end The Church feels like just another Demons/Evil Dead clone. C–

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Exorcist II, Nightlife, The Tomb

Exorcist II: The Heretic – 1977, US, 117m. Director: John Boorman.

Nightlife – 1989, US, 92m. Director: Daniel Taplitz.

The Tomb – 1986, US, 84m. Director: Fred Olen Ray.

EXORCIST II: THE HERETIC (1977) A disillusioned priest (Richard Burton) is sent by the Church to look into the circumstances surrounding Father Merrin’s (Max von Sydow) death at the end of The Exorcist. Burton’s investigation brings him to 16-year-old Regan (Linda Blair) who, still feeling the effects of her possession from the first movie, is attending a special clinic run by Ellen Burstyn lookalike Louise Fletcher—Burstyn didn’t reprise her role as Regan’s mother, making her the smartest person not to be featured in this bloated sequel. Burton travels to Africa to meet with a man (James Earl Jones) who survived an adolescent possession by the demon Pazuzu, and where the viewer is forced to watch excruciatingly dull scenes of Burton sleepwalking through his role. Burton becomes consumed with the case and brings Regan to her old house in Georgetown to confront Pazuzu in a preposterous ending that gives new meaning to unintentional comedy. It seems a difficult task for director John Boorman (Deliverance) to flesh out the same characters and situations William Friedkin handled so effortlessly in the first film—too many of them come off as cold and calculating, including Fletcher’s psychiatrist who, even after witnessing supernatural events, continues to be a Doubting Thomas to Regan’s demonic plight. Blair is wasted in a role which (unlike its predecessor) feels one dimensional. D

NIGHTLIFE (1989) Before he was cast as vampire Barnabas Collins in the 1991 revival of Dark Shadows, Ben Cross played vampire Vlad in this made-for-TV, Dark Shadowsesque satire. Friendly vamp Angelique (Maryam d’Abo) awakens from a decades-long slumber and begins a relationship with blood specialist David (Keith Szarabajka), who supplies her with endless bags of donor blood to feed off. Angelique’s old flame, Vlad, discovers her return and makes it his mission to get her back—despite the fact she buried herself in the ground for 100 years just to get away from the creep. Vlad sends two bumbling vampire goons after Angelique, but she and David get away and end up making love in her penthouse coffin (“You call this a bed?”). A lack of fresh blood gives Angelique a skin disorder that has her fleeing into hiding until Vlad traps and brings her to his lair. In an effort to save Angelique, David captures one of Vlad’s cronies in his lab and uses ultraviolet lights on the vamp where it explodes at the feet of a janitor who, in the movie’s funniest scene, states, “I’m not cleaning that up!” Unfortunately, Nightlife doesn’t supply audiences with enough comically charged moments to recommend viewing, although Cross and the gang try to make the most of the situation. It’s unfortunate the script doesn’t return the favor. C

THE TOMB (1986) The unstoppable Fred Olen Ray strikes again with this half-baked rip-off of Bram Stoker’s Jewel of the Seven Stars. Macho tomb raiders awaken Egyptian vampire Nefratis (Michelle Bauer) when pilfering her unmarked mausoleum. The sole survivor (David O’Hara) escapes to America, along with an artifact from the tomb, only to be followed by the vampiric pharaoh herself, who, in order to retrieve her property, implants a homing device—in the form of a flesh-eating scarab—inside O’Hara’s chest. Nefratis wastes no time killing the various men who stand in her way of obtaining the precious relic, including a collector whose heart she rips out. When Nefratis feels the need to feed, she picks up a lesbian at a bar only to toss her into a bed of giant snakes for no particular reason. Ray’s direction might lack substance but there’s no denying The Tomb is pumped with a good amount of energy, even when it’s not always working. It helps that the movie never takes itself seriously and is often quite funny, especially a scene where a U.S. customs agent, in an attempt to arrest Nefratis, is obliterated by a flash of light from her hand. Scream Queen Sybil Danning might get top billing, but her participation is all but a few minutes of screen time. It ain’t very good, but a likable cast and a sense of enjoyment make The Tomb a watchable 80 minutes. B–

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