Matt’s Horror Addiction

NOMADS (1986) An interesting, if not fully successful, tale of a French anthropology professor (Pierce Brosnan) who passes his life force (I think) to a medical doctor (Lesley-Anne Down) right before he dies in an L.A. hospital. Soon after, the pretty doc begins re-experiencing the last days of the professor—who was following and documenting a group of murderous street punks he believed were actually a race of otherworldly beings, roaming the earth in human form. Written and directed by John McTiernan (Predator, Die Hard), Nomads is unconventional in that it tells its story from two different timelines. The Brosnan timeline is the more engaging of the two—and gets the most screen time—but, unfortunately, it drags to the point where nothing obviously supernatural happens until the last 20 minutes or so. Brosnan gets credit for doing something so non-commercial during his Remington Steele years, as well as having a surprising full frontal nude scene. C+

DON’T TORTURE A DUCKLING (1972) How can you go wrong with a title like that? When the body of a murdered boy is found in a small Italian village, it ignites a media frenzy—especially after the local pervert is arrested for the crime. Soon after, two more boys are abducted and killed, causing hysteria and panic within the superstitious town. Fingers point towards an out-of-town heiress (Barbara Bouchet) who likes her men on the young side, and a peasant (Florinda Bolkan) branded a witch by the townsfolk because of her homemade voodoo dolls. One of goremeister Lucio Fulci’s earliest and more restrained horror films, this is a sophisticated and well-plotted murder mystery soaking in atmosphere and beautiful-but-desolate Southern Italian locations. Fulci keeps the tension moving at a good pace, culminating in a brutal scene where a suspect is beaten to death by an angry mob. A well-directed and well-acted giallo that should lend credit to Fulci as a legitimate filmmaker. B+

THE BLOOD-SPATTERED BRIDE (1972) Newlywed Susan (Maribel Martin) becomes increasingly tired of her brutish husband’s (Simón Andreu) lustful appetite while on their honeymoon at his family’s country estate. That is until Susan is seduced by a mysterious woman (Alexandra Bastedo) who apparently murdered her husband on her wedding night centuries earlier—and wishes for Susan to do the same. A film very much of its time, this is filled with New Age feminism and political subtext—a dream in which Susan cuts out her husband’s heart isn’t exactly subtle—although much of it is muddled in the flimsy screenplay, which is loosely based on the vampire tale Carmilla. Susan isn’t exactly sympathetic, and none of the other characters are worth caring for, including Susan’s husband who flip-flops between asshole and hero. Not nearly as exploitative as its title would suggest. A shame. C

COCAINE BEAR (2023) Cocaine Bear is superbly silly hokum that works surprisingly well. In 1985, after a massive grizzly bear sticks its snout into a bag of raw cocaine (which fell out of an airplane during a failed drug swap), it goes on a drug-fueled, killing rampage within the woods. This is bad news for single mom, Sari (Keri Russell), who’s searching for her missing daughter, along with a couple of knuckle-headed drug dealers (Alden Ehrenreich and O’Shea Jackson Jr.) who’re looking for the lost coke. It’s flawed and almost aggressively stupid, yet Cocaine Bear delivers the goods thanks to a brisk pace, a sardonic sense of humor, and a couple of terrifically gory kills, but mostly because it never takes itself seriously—something the recent M3GAN failed at. Margo Martindale steals her scenes as a dimwitted forest ranger who has some of the worst luck in horror movie history. B

DEAD SILENCE (2007) Before James Wan created Annabelle he made this modest ghost tale – that feels like a warm-up to Insidious – about strange happenings surrounding a ventriloquist’s doll. When his wife is savagely murdered, a man (Ryan Kwanten) returns to his hometown to bury her, only to get tangled in a bizarre mystery involving his family and a murderous ventriloquist (Judith Roberts) who has come back from the dead to act revenge against those who killed her. Wan should get credit for doing something different at a time when most horror was influenced by torture porn – a subgenre Wan created with Saw – and for delivering an atmosphere-heavy supernatural story that supplies a few good creep-out moments. Kwanten is likable as the protagonist, but Donnie Wahlberg is miscast as a disbelieving detective convinced Kwanten killed his wife. B–

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (2010) A sort of “reimagining” of the classic Wes Craven movie with a new group of Elm Street teens being stalked in their dreams by old razor-fingers, Freddy (Jackie Earl Haley). The story is essentially a repeat of the ’84 film with a few new characters and situations. Not as bad as its reputation suggests, this lacks the creative juices (and scares) of the original and many of its sequels, and the mythology surrounding Freddy that flowed so organically in the Craven world here feels forced—but the cast is good, especially Haley in a creepy updating of the famous Robert Englund make-up. This lacks brains and is plagued with a rushed, unsatisfying ending. But, it could have been so much worse. C+

EDGE OF SANITY (1989) Before Anthony Hopkins was Hannibal Lector, Anthony Perkins was the modern face of evil thanks to his unforgettable turn as Norman Bates, and here he’s well-cast as a serial slasher in this colorful but garish variation of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Experimenting with cocaine in his sleek, ’80s aesthetic-chic lab, the respected Dr. Henry Jekyll (Perkins) accidentally discovers a solution that transforms him into the libidinous psychopath, Jack Hyde, whose sexual mayhem within the local brothels grants him the nickname Jack the Ripper. Perkins manages to rise above the ostentatious material, and there’s an interesting suggestion that Jekyll/Hyde is bisexual, indicated in a scene where Hyde masturbates while watching a man getting seduces by a prostitute. Unfortunately director, and former pornographer, Gérard Kikoïne focuses so much on the sex and nudity aspect, it creates too much of a sleazy atmosphere. But, maybe that was the point? A robust score by Frédéric Talgorn and a brutal, mean-spirited ending help to keep the flick slightly above mediocrity. C+

MARTIN (1977) Loner teen Martin (John Amplas) goes to live in the decaying town of Braddock, a suburb of Pittsburgh, with his superstitious cousin, Cuda (Lincoln Maazel), who believes the young man to be a vampire. Martin may not be your garden variety vampire, but a sociopathic killer he is—Martin spends his days preying on vulnerable women before eventually drugging and raping them, and afterward feeding on their blood. Martin assumes Braddock will help him to put his blood lust at bay, but instead finds the place a hotbed of helpless, lost souls, and spiritually defenseless—even the Church has up and left the dying town. A unique and undeniably cerebral film, Martin is a solemn, character-driven horror drama that casts a spell on its viewer. With its claustrophobic, guerrilla-style camera work by longtime Romero collaborator Michael Gornick, haunting score by Donald Rubinstein, and ironic, downbeat ending, Martin is in a class by itself and perhaps Romero’s most mature film. Amplas is excellent and Christine Forrest is sympathetic as Cuda’s granddaughter. A–

PET SEMATARY TWO (1992) Unfairly criticized sequel to the 1989 original is not as bad as its reputation suggests. After his movie star mom (Darlanne Fluegel) dies in an on-set accident, young Jeff (Edward Furlong) moves with his dad, Chase (Anthony Edwards), back to dad’s hometown of Ludlow, Maine, where the events of the earlier movie took place. When Jeff’s new friend, Drew’s (Jason McGuire), dog dies and they bury the animal you-know-where, the dog comes back a beast from hell and kills Drew’s stepfather (Clancy Brown). Guess what happens next? More of a black comedy than straight up horror, Pet Sematary Two has a few scares, but the intensity of the first film is replaced with a more goofy vibe, especially when Brown’s zombified remains start playing house with his wife and kid. Furlong and McGuire are likable, but Brown steals it in a good performance that may have been inspiration for future zom-coms like Shaun of the Dead and Warm Bodies. B–

DEAD RINGER (1964) Bette Davis fans will get a kick out of watching her play twins in this post-Baby Jane chiller, but everyone else will most likely be bored. Penniless spinster, Edith (Davis), finds out her lost love of 20 years – who married her twin sister, Margaret (Davis) – has died of a heart attack and confronts her rich, cold-hearted sister at the funeral. Edith eventually murders her sister and takes over Margaret’s lavish life, but complications arise when Edith discovers shocking secrets about Margaret that puts her in danger. The story is often hysterically melodramatic, and loses momentum rather quickly, something a shorter run time and tighter pacing might have helped with. Actor Paul Henreid (Now, Voyager, Casablanca) directs the film with confidence up until its old fashioned, “the murderer must be punished” ending. Davis is excellent, though. C

HOSTEL PART III (2011) A trip to Las Vegas for three friends turns into a bloody nightmare when they’re abducted by the Elite Hunting Club and subjected to grueling torture and death. This direct-to-video threequel lacks Eli Roth’s eye for detailed, visceral action, but director Scott Spiegel (Intruder) does a decent job at delivering what audiences expect from these films. The gore is surprisingly played down (most likely due to budget restraints) and none of the characters are particularly likable, eliminating any suspense of their impending doom. Yet the whole thing is oddly entertaining, and at just 88 minutes it’s a quick way to be distracted. B–

THE WITCHES OF EASTWICK (1987) Lively horror-comedy with Jack Nicholson giving one of his best and funniest performances as the devious Daryl Van Horne. The self-named “horny little devil” arrives in the charming hamlet of Eastwick, Rhode Island, and puts his devilish moves on the town’s three alluring, and husbandless, women (Cher, Susan Sarandon, and Michelle Pfeiffer), all of whom hold supernatural powers. It isn’t long until Daryl exploits their witchy abilities to his advantage and turns the seaside village on its head. Hilariously adapted by Michael Cristofer, the movie thrives on George (Mad Max) Miller’s energetic direction and the chemistry between the four stars. Add to the mix a maniacal Veronica Cartwright as the town’s soothsaying bible bouncer, and a crackerjack, FX-fueled climax and you’ve got a near-perfect example of classic ’80s cinema. A–

THE DUNWICH HORROR (1970) A colorful/psychedelic answer to Rosemary’s Baby, this adaptation of the H.P. Lovecraft tale is light on plot but extremely well-made and fairly suspenseful. Naive college student, Nancy (Sandra Dee), is pulled into the sinister world of Wilbur (Dean Stockwell), the youngest son of the infamous Whateley family from the small town of Dunwich. Little does Nancy know that Wilbur is actually the son of an ancient, evil god who’s using Wilbur to open a doorway into another dimension in order to bring forth a race of monstrous beings called the Old Ones. Director Daniel Haller keeps the pace moving at a good clip, and builds tension slowly. Dee is sympathetic enough, and Stockwell does good wild-eyed craziness in a role that seems prime for a Dark Shadows subplot. The climax is rather lackluster, but The Dunwich Horror is solid early ’70s supernatural horror. B

SHRIEK OF THE MUTILATED (1974) A totally bizarre, poorly made, but extremely entertaining Bigfoot melodrama shot in Westchester County, New York. A college professor (Alan Brock), obsessed with finding the legendary Yeti, takes his students on a woodsy excursion in order to secure proof of the creature’s existence. The young ones dismiss the Yeti as a figment of the professor’s imagination, until they start getting torn to bits by a large beast with sharp teeth and claws. And just when you think it can’t get any weirder, it does – and then some! Written by Invasion of the Blood Farmers‘ Ed Adlum, and Ed Kelleher, Shriek of the Mutilated is an accidental camp classic. With its stilted acting, awkward editing, and hilariously cheesy dialogue, the movie feels (unintentionally) like a spirited homage to Ed Wood. B+

SILENT HILL: REVELATION (2012) Six-years-later sequel to the first, and superior, Silent Hill movie has teenager Sharon (Adelaide Clemens), now going under the name Heather Mason, on the run with her adopted father, Christopher (Sean Bean), after the events of the earlier film. The past comes back to bite them in the butt when Christopher is kidnapped by a doomsday cult and brought to Silent Hill, where Sharon must go to rescue him. The plot is a hotbed of confusing mythology and storyline – taken mostly from the Silent Hill 3 game – and never makes much sense. It doesn’t really matter because the movie mostly works as a visceral monster flick, with a good eye on detailed creatures and set pieces, including a sequence involving a giant spider-thing made up of mannequin pieces. Clemens is likable, but love interest Kit Harington suffers from massive accent slippage; Bean is wasted, and Carrie Ann-Moss’s participation is essentially an extended cameo. B–

THE DEAD (2010) Inventive, Romeroesque, slow-walking-zombie tale about an American mercenary (Rob Freeman) who survives a plane crash in West Africa and, along with a local soldier (Prince David Osei), must battle hordes of the walking dead while trying to find safety. Freeman comes off too generic and dull for the lead character, and although the story’s pacing is nice and fast, a more energetic and likable protagonist – think Ken Foree’s Peter in Dawn of the Dead – would have given the film a more suspenseful vibe. There is good stuff here, with plenty of appropriately gory gut-munching and limb-tearing, a unique Burkina Faso setting, and a fittingly downbeat ending. Followed by The Dead 2: India. B–

THE GIRL WITH ALL THE GIFTS (2016) Intelligent and suspenseful zombie/apocalyptic end-of-the-world horror adapted from a 2014 novel, which itself feels inspired by The Last of Us. Years after a fungal virus turns most of humanity into mindless, flesh-eating zombies, a team of soldiers and scientists experiment with the latest generation of infected: children who can speak and think at their own will. When their facility is torn down by a swarm of zombies, a small group of survivors, plus one of the infected kids, escapes and must journey across London to find a government outpost. It all sounds like a Day of the Dead/28 Days Later/Last of Us concoction, but Girl with All the Gifts is actually highly original in both execution and story, which is carried by its smart, well-written characters and extremely intense set pieces. B+

GRETA (2018) Those expecting a hair-pulling, knife-throwing, knock down, drag out fight-to-the-death thriller in the Fatal Attraction vein might be disappointed in this character-driven psycho-stalker piece by Neil (Interview with the Vampire) Jordan. Taking pity in lonely spinster, Greta (Isabelle Huppert), recent college grad Frances (Chloë Grace Moretz) begins a friendship with the middle aged woman, but as time goes by Frances begins to question Greta’s true motives, and sanity. Frances is likable and Greta is both sad and twisted, with a superbly balanced performance by Huppert that gives the film, and character, much more credit than the material deserves. That’s not to say the film isn’t good, because it is, to a point – Jordan builds tension when Greta’s psyche cracks, and her scenes with Moretz feel genuine. Frances should have been written a little more headstrong and energetic, and the climax practically begs for a full-throttle, Friday the 13thesque cat fight, but, sadly, never delivers. Still, this is entertaining stuff. B–

KNOCK AT THE CABIN (2023) Not-really-horror horror from the increasingly unreliable M. Night Shyamalan, which promises spectacular, apocalyptic destruction but, sadly, never delivers the goods. While on a woodsy vacation, a small family is taken hostage by a quartet of armed people who all claim to share the same vision of the end of the world, which only a sacrifice can stop. Guess who has to make the sacrifice? Plodding and uninvolving, Knock at the Cabin relies so heavily on its “What If?” scenario that it forgets to have any fun with the material. Instead of sympathetic, well-written characters trapped in a doomsday plot (as with Shyamalan’s Signs), the characters in Knock feel like manufactured caricatures written for the purpose of creating inauthentic drama, without the slightest possibility of a genuine outcome. D

THE NIGHT FLIER (1997) A surprisingly good adaptation of the Stephen King short story, in which ruthless tabloid journalist, Richard Dees (Miguel Ferrer), pursues vampiric serial killer Dwight Renfield (get it?), who uses a private plane to fly into remote towns and massacres anyone nearby. The rather oddball scenario could have been made to be superbly corny and predictable, but luckily director/writer Mark Pavia treats the material with the highest respect, adding an eye for creepy, grisly detail that makes the story move at a good pace. A sense of humor and some effective set pieces – a lengthy hallucination, in which Dees is trapped in a nightmare of blood-spattered vampires is terrific stuff – help to create a good, if imperfect, flick. The KNB make-up FX are excellent. B

M3GAN (2023) Beware the 90-minute movie which has become culturally defined by a meaningless, split second character action. A hollow rip-off of Child’s Play and every other killer doll movie ever made, M3GAN is the first horror film of 2023, and it’s not a great start. After her parents are killed in a car accident, young Cady (Violet McGraw) is sent to live with emotionless aunt, Gemma (Allison Williams), who just happens to work for a massive toy company and is the creator of a cutting-edge, experimental life-sized animatronic doll called M3GAN (Model 3 Generative Android). When Gemma brings the doll home to test out with Cady, M3GAN begins to act aggressive towards anyone, or anything, that shows any kind of animosity towards Cady. Guess what happens? Unlike Andy and mom Karen in Child’s Play, M3GAN features no sympathetic characters, and that includes kid protagonist Cady, who comes off as just bratty and irrational. Not scary, occasionally funny, and super predictable, M3GAN is so devoid of original ideas and personality that it creates a vacuum of dry storytelling. It’s the Pumpkin Spice Latte of killing doll movies: it’s basic AF. C–

BLOOD (2022) Appropriately moody Brad Anderson (Session 9) tale about recently divorced mother, Jess (Michelle Monaghan), who moves back in to her childhood farm house with kids, Tyler (Skylar Morgan Jones) and Owen (Finlay Wojtak-Hissong), after a long recovery from drugs. After their dog disappears in the nearby woods and returns days later like a fiend from Pet Sematary, it chomps Owen, who begins to undergo a bizarre mood change, and develops an unnatural quench for fresh blood. Sort of an alternative take on the vampire story, this is obviously striving to be something deeper and more realistic, but in doing so shoots itself in the foot by delivering neither a compelling horror yarn or a gripping family drama. The screenplay (by Will Honley) spends a great deal of time painting Jess as the villain to her ex-husband (Skeet Ulrich) when the script should be using its time to explain the vague supernatural influence that has turned Owen into a monster – it never does. A clever idea that doesn’t go far enough. C

THE DENTIST (1996) A witless Dr. Giggles rip-off about a mentally unbalanced, anally retentive dentist (Corbin Bernsen) who snaps after he discovers his awful wife having sex with the sleazy pool cleaner and goes on a tooth-drilling, tongue-removing, mouth-stretching killing spree. Not nearly as gruesome as it sounds, this is actually quite dull and way too talky for such a cheap n’gimmicky story. Bernsen is good in the role and has fun with the material, which is a shame since the screenplay never allows itself to have as much fun, making the whole film seem like a one-man production wrapped in a wet blanket. Bargain basement make-up FX and a ridiculously convenient and unsatisfying ending help to sink this. Followed by a The Dentist 2! D

HOUSEBOUND (2014) Clever New Zealand horror comedy about troubled Kylie (Morgana O’Reilly), who’s put under house arrest back at her childhood home with her kooky mother, Miriam (Tima Te Wiata), who believes the place is haunted. When Kylie begins to experience supernatural occurrences she enlists the help of her security guard (Glen-Paul Waru) who’s an amateur ghost hunter. What at first feels like a sitcom dropped within the Conjuring Universe, Housebound eventually transforms into its own thing and never feels like a copy of anything. The script (by director Gerard Johnstone, M3GAN) balances its humor and scares up until its rather ridiculous final act, which is smartly foiled in humor and never taken seriously. A light, fun romp that goes down like candy. B