Matt’s Horror Addiction

BURNING BRIGHT (2010) Intense little flick about a teenager (Briana Evigan) and her autistic brother (Charlie Tahan) trapped inside their large house with a hungry bengal tiger during a hurricane. The plot sounds like a silly B-movie from the ’50s, but this is extremely well-made with taut direction (by Carlos Brooks), a quick pace, and some genuinely suspenseful, nail-biting moments thanks to smart, likable characters and Brooks’ eye for detailed sequences. Evigan is excellent, and the special FX are used wisely and effectively. The story takes a little long to get going, but once the tiger is out of the cage the fun begins. B

CANNIBAL APOCALYPSE (1980) Italian-made, filmed-in-Georgia, Romero/Fulci knock-off (co-written by Fulci regular, Dardano Sacchetti) about a Vietnam vet (John Saxon) who, along with two other soldiers, is exposed to a strange virus that slowly turns him into a crazed cannibal. When Saxon and Co. start biting people back home in Atlanta, the city is soon taken over by blood-thirsty ghouls. The movie is trying to be an allegory on Vietnam, but its impact is lessened due to massive plot holes (a S.W.A.T. team would never allow civilians to join a hostage negotiation), and the virus affecting characters differently due to silly plot conveniences. Saxon is good, and the make-up FX fair, but this is really just a wannabe zombie movie, minus the zombies, and the fun. Also known as Cannibals in the Street. C–

DOCUMENTING THE WITCH PATH (2017) A sort of Swedish Blair Witch about three student filmmakers who wish to make a documentary about the legendary “Witch Path,” a section of forest that was used for witch trials and executions in the 17th century. Things get complicated when they find out the place has been closed off to the general public by the local township, making the mystery surrounding the place even more of a cause to venture into the woods. This ultra low-budgeter is fairly engaging for most of its short running time, delivering an unsettling mythology and likable characters. It’s too bad a last-minute twist destroys any momentum the film built, leading to an ultimately disappointing ending. C+

THE UNSEEN (1981) In the highly enjoyable last 30 minutes of The Unseen, Barbara Bach’s character, Jennifer, is trapped in the basement of a boarding house with a maladjusted, mute man-child, who endlessly terrorizes her. Unfortunately, the first 60 minutes of the movie are not as enjoyable and rather boring, as Jennifer and her two news journalist colleagues unwisely rent a room at said remote boarding house, which is owned by a foreshadow-y old coot (Sydney Lassick) and his constantly-under-duress sister (Lelia Goldoni). The man-child, Junior (Stephen Furst), is actually a product of their incestuous relationship, and is kept locked in the cellar and treated like an animal. After her coworkers are murdered, Jennifer is “thrown to the wolf,” so to speak, by Lassick, who turns out to be even more deranged than Junior. Furst is quite good as the infantile son, while Bach is competent as the damsel in distress. Too restrained for its own good; this is one film that would have benefited from some additional splatter. C+

BLUE EYES OF THE BROKEN DOLL (1974) A splattery slasher/psychodrama about a troubled drifter, Gilles (Paul Naschy), who finds work as a handyman – and all-around stud – for three colorful sisters at their hilltop manor in the remote Spanish countryside. When a mystery killer starts hacking out the blue eyes of blonde women in the area, all fingers point to Gilles, but the real identity of the killer is a little more obvious to the experienced viewer. The Italian gialli were clearly the blueprint for this bit of Eurosploitation, which features all of the trademarks of Argento and Bava, including the black-gloved killer and the overly complicated backstories/subplots that add little to the suspense of the murders. A competently made, typically melodramatic early ’70s slice-and-dicer, co-written by Naschy, the Lon Chaney of Spain. I prefer the alternate American video title, House of Psychotic Women, a lot more. C+

INSEMINOID (1981) Abysmal Alien/Friday the 13th rip-off about a group of space explorers excavating a cave system on an uncharted alien planet who, naturally, fall victim to a predatory creature. When one of the team (Judy Geeson, who’s awful) is impregnated with the creature’s baby, she’s turned into a raving maniac and carves up her unlikable costars while playing “Mommie Dearest” to her parasitic offspring. Even by low-rent genre standards, Inseminoid lacks the slightest shred of credibility, with “scientists” who seem barely capable of turning on a light switch let alone operating advanced space-age computers. The movie’s lunchbox budget doesn’t help, neither do the cut-rate gore effects – and brain-dead characters who seem to be in a constant state of annoyance. The shock ending will give you a case of the eyeball rolls. One of the worst. F

SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIMEBALL BOWL-O-RAMA (1988) While trying to steal a bowling trophy from an indoor mall as part of a sorority pledge initiation, a group of college students are terrorized by an evil imp hiding inside said trophy. At first the imp (which looks like a hand-puppet leftover from Ghoulies) grants their every wish, until the imp’s real intentions are revealed and several of the group are turned into demons (one whose physical manifestation is the Bride of Frankenstein!) that try to kill the remaining pledge sisters, along with their nerdy (and horny) frat admirers. Sort of a Revenge of the Nerds with a supernatural twist, Sorority Babes is a harmless bit of self-referential, goofy fun that mostly works, until it runs out of steam, which is, unfortunately, before its brief 80-minutes are up. The movie’s saving graces are Scream Queen trio, Linnea Quigley, Brinke Stevens, and Michelle Bauer, all of whom have enough energy and spunk to make a “Bowling for Dummies” instructional video entertaining. B–

SPHERE (1998) A well-intended, but not totally successful, adaptation of the terrific Michael Crichton novel that’s actually much better than its reputation suggests. A team of scientists and doctors are assembled to explore a buried spacecraft discovered at the bottom of the ocean, inside of which is a large, floating orb that has the power to make your worst fears a reality. While it lacks the complexity and suspense of the book (not to mention a fantastic sequence involving a giant squid), Barry Levinson’s film is smart enough to move at a fast pace and creates an environment of paranoia and tension. The cast is good – Samuel L. Jackson is excellent – but the characters often come off as cold and unsympathetic, especially Sharon Stone’s pill-popping marine biologist. As with Outbreak, Dustin Hoffman makes for a warm and likable hero. First-rate production values and effective use of underwater photography. B

THE INNOCENTS (2021) Moody Norwegian chiller about a quartet of children who discover they not only share a psychic bond but harbor special powers. When sociopathic Ben’s (Sam Ashraf) powers grow stronger, he uses them to hurt those who’ve wronged him, causing a rift in his bond with the others. What sounds like X-Men Meets Village of the Damned is actually a much more complex film. The disquieting, brooding atmosphere keeps the tensions high, and creates a world in which none of the characters feel as if they’re safe. It runs a bit long, but The Innocents is a good and suspenseful little film that goes to dark places most movies wouldn’t dare. B+

NEEDFUL THINGS (1993) Solid Stephen King adaptation about a small Maine town slowly taken over by the demonic presence of its newest resident, Leland Gaunt (Max von Sydow). Leland’s antique store specializes in finding rare items for its costumers — objects for which many are willing to sell their soul, or commit murder, to obtain. A terrific cast (Ed Harris, Bonnie Bedelia, Amanda Plummer, and J.T. Walsh) makes the material work, which is handled in a much more subtle way (by director Fraser C. Heston) than you’d expect from a King book-turned-movie. Sydow wisely downplays his portrayal of the devilish Gaunt, while Walsh, as the bullying, embezzling Danforth “Buster” Keeton, is wonderfully scene-chewing. Good fun, but I can’t help wonder how more effective it all could have been had the screenplay (by W.D. Richter) attained even half of the book’s darker tone. B

THE TOXIC AVENGER (1984) The town of Tromaville has a new hero in the form of a mutated monster who quickly lays waste to the many pimps, murderers, and general douchebags that populate the city. Known as the Toxic Avenger, he’s actually mild-mannered Melvin, a bullied doofus who goes swimming in a vat of toxic waste (the result of a prank gone awry) and is turned into a muscle-bound hero who helps old ladies cross the street — when he’s not bashing in the heads of criminals. Perhaps the ultimate “bad taste” movie (this makes John Waters’s early films look like Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm), this gets points for its no-holds-barred shock value; children, dogs, and the elderly are all targets of the gory shenanigans of Tromaville. But it’s all done in satirical fun. Best scene: Toxic using industrial kitchen implements (including a milk shake mixer) to kill a group of splatterpunk rapists. Definitely not a movie for the Sensitivity Police. B+

TOXIC ZOMBIES (1980) A group of murderous pot farmers are secretly given a biological herbicide by the government and are turned into bloodthirsty zombie/cannibals in this ultra low-grade Dawn of the Dead clone, shot in and around Pittsburgh. The majority of the movie features characters being chased and chowed down on by the zombies, until a sufficient group of campers manage to escape and hold up inside a dilapidated house, Night of the Living Dead-style. There’s some shoestring charm to this backwoods gorefest, but it only goes so far before the paper-thin plot, like its cast, gets consumed. George Romero regular, John Amplas, has a small role as a corrupt FBI agent who gets his throat torn out. A low-fi howler, this was director Charles McCrann’s only movie; he ultimately died in the 9/11 attacks. C

BLOOD SALVAGE (1990) A stupid slasher variant about a vacationing family abducted by a religious fanatic hillbilly (Danny Nelson), who likes to perform diabolical medical experiments on his victims. The movie wants to be a parody (I think), but its tone is all over the place, with an uneven mix of gory horror and slapstick comedy that never gels. The screenplay also relies too heavily on its annoying, over-the-top characters to carry the movie, resulting in endless scenes of terrible, hammy acting. Even John Saxon, playing the father of a wheelchair-bound teen (Lori Birdsong) next on Nelson’s operating table, can’t save this. A chore to sit through. D

EATEN ALIVE (1976) Tobe Hooper followed-up Texas Chainsaw Massacre with this entertaining but disjointed shocker about a mentally disturbed man (Neville Brand) who kills and feeds to his pet alligator anyone who upsets him – which is everyone – at his dilapidated backwoods hotel. Shades of Norman Bates are obvious, but Brand’s performance is too hysterical at times, and the tone of the screenplay switches gears once too often. But, Hooper does throw in enough thrills and surprises (including a young Robert Englund’s encounter with the hungry gator) to keep the movie moving at a good pace, resulting in a demented, nasty little oddity. B–

THE OTHER (1972) Well-made adaptation of the best-selling book by Thomas Tryon (who also wrote the screenplay) about a series of deaths that surround a small family and its twin boys, Niles (Chris Udvarnoky) and Holland (Martin Udvarnoky). When mild-mannered Niles begins to astral project himself into the minds of others, this sets off a chain of incidents relating back to the psychopathic Holland. Although Robert Mulligan’s direction is at times stoic, this is a good film with excellent performances by the Udvarnoky brothers, and especially Uta Hagen as the matriarch of the family. The sinister, downbeat ending is a plus. Look for John Ritter in a small role. B

THE PHOENIX INCIDENT (2015) A group of friends encounter alien beasties in this meandering found footage story of the Phoenix Lights phenomenon from 1997. A 30-minute concept is stretched to 90 minutes, with a lot of screen time used on boring interviews with government officers involved in a worldwide conspiracy. There’s also a subplot about a sociopathic cult member (Michael Adamwaithe), but by that point I was looking at my watch. Technically well-made, but one can’t help wish this had been trimmed of its fat and released as a short film. The Phoenix Lights has created a tiny cottage industry: so far, this is the first of two found footage movies based on the supposedly real occurrence. C–

CITADEL (2012) Months after his wife was fatally attacked by a group of mysterious children, Tommy (Aneurin Barnard) realizes the same kids have come back to terrorize him and his daughter. While his mental health deteriorates, Tommy receives help from a disgraced priest (James Cosmo) who informs him the children are inhuman creatures that feed off fear. As with director Ciarán Foy’s other films (Eli, Sinister 2), Citadel is a good concept not fully realized. Yet, for most of the short 84-minute runtime the film works quite well, with Foy building a genuinely suspenseful and claustrophobic environment for Tommy to grapple with – not to mention some creepy, Cronenberg-esque kids. A lackluster conclusion slightly stains the overall impact the rest of the movie has, with one wondering what a few more rewrites of the screenplay might have achieved. B–

PHANTOMS (1998) A small Colorado town is overtaken by a mysterious, shapeshifting black ooze (not unlike The X-Files) emanating from below the ground in this entertaining but slight adaptation of the popular Dean Koontz book. When the town’s new doctor (Joanna Going) and her sister (Rose McGowan) arrive to discover most of the inhabitants dead or missing, they, along with the sheriff (Ben Affleck), try to figure out how to escape alive, and possibly save the rest of humanity. A good first half that builds intriguing mystery is muted with the introduction of too many uninteresting characters and a lengthy sequence inside a military vehicle where said characters sit around and hypothesize the creature’s origins. The special FX are good and the action robust, just don’t expect too much meat on these bones. C+

THE POSSESSION OF JOEL DELANEY (1972) Wealthy New York socialite Norah (Shirley MacLaine) becomes suspicious of brother, Joel’s (Perry King), change in behavior when he starts acting aggressive and speaking in a language he doesn’t know. When Joel’s girlfriend is found murdered, Norah believes the spirit of Joel’s deceased Puerto Rican friend (and serial killer) has invaded her brother’s body. An intriguing and suspenseful film that plays out more like a mystery than your typical possession movie, although it has its share of shocking moments. MacLaine is excellent and the mood bleak. The screenplay falls apart during the last several, hectic minutes, but the downbeat ending rings true. B

STRANGE INVADERS (1983) A love letter to ’50s sci-fi flicks, this has college professor, Dr. Bigelow (Paul LeMat), looking for his ex-wife (Diana Scarwid) in a small town and inadvertently stumbling onto a secret alien takeover that’s been going on for 25 years. With the help of a tabloid newspaper writer (Nancy Allen), Bigelow tries to uncover the alien plot, only to end up getting his daughter kidnapped and the government involved. Sort of a companion piece to director Michael Laughlin’s Strange Behavior, Invaders is both odd and charming, utilizing its kitschy premise by playing up the nostalgic vibe of movies like Invaders from Mars and Invasion of the Body Snatchers, and downplaying the seriousness of those films at the same time. Allen and Fiona Lewis (in a small role) are both delightful, but LeMat is wooden and unsympathetic. It’s not perfect, but there’s a lot to like here, and given the small budget, the practical FX are terrific. B

THE COLLINGSWOOD STORY (2002) The first of the webcam horror films that emerged in the wake of The Blair Witch Project, this simplistic film has a college student (Stephanie Dees) moving away from home and using webcams to communicate with her boyfriend (Johnny Burton). Unbeknownst to them, her new house was once the site of a mass murder associated with a satanic cult, bringing upon her a series of supernatural occurrences. It’s obvious the subgenre hadn’t yet found its footing, as this is much talkier and humorless than similar movies of its kind. The film has a genuinely unsettling atmosphere, but its slow pace and heavy reliance on exposition to build suspense hurts the impact the story could have had with a tighter, more focused screenplay. C+   

THE DEADLY SPAWN (1983) An enjoyable, low, low budget romp in the tradition of The Evil Dead, this pits a houseful of people against a multi-headed alien beastie with sharp teeth and a large appetite for human flesh. When the house’s monster-loving kid (Charles George Hilderbandt) becomes wise to the creature’s heightened sense of hearing, he uses it to his advantage to try and save his family from becoming next on the alien’s dinner plate. A fast pace and genuine excitement help lift this above its obvious budgetary restraints and somewhat dull characters. The OTT gore FX also add some spice to the paper-thin story, all leading up to a wonderful twist ending that would give Little Shop of Horrors a run for its money. B

SHE WILL (2022) Yet another “intellectual” non-horror “horror” movie that seems to have been made just for the pretentious film festival circuit. After aging movie star, Veronica Ghent (Alice Krige), undergoes a double mastectomy, she travels to a woodsy retreat to convalesce, only to find out the place was once the site of mass witch burnings. When Veronica begins seeing visions of said witches, she undergoes a physical and mental transformation, and uses her newfound powers to enact revenge against her male oppressors. Both obvious in its metaphors and mundane in its execution, She Will is a dumb movie that thinks it’s smart; the script never allows its characters to feel authentic or, most importantly, sympathetic. We’re automatically expected to side with Ghent because of a hinted past traumatic event that turned her into the chilly character presented in the film, but the movie itself is too cold and disjointed to allow the audience to make up its own mind. If you’re the type who likes to watch stock footage of snails having sex, this is the movie for you. D