THE HAUNTING OF JULIA (1977) This moody ghost tale stars the always good Mia Farrow as a woman who, months after the death of her young daughter, moves into a house off London’s Holland Park to try and put her life back together. She soon suspects the house may be haunted by the spirit of a murdered child, and investigates the place’s dark past. Adapted from Peter Straub’s novel, Haunting of Julia is an effective, character-driven supernatural chiller. Hardcore horror buffs might be put off by the film’s slow pace and deliberately ambiguous tone, but the patient viewer will by rewarded with a creepy, dark story, and a truly unsettling ending. B+
ORPHAN: FIRST KILL (2022) A surprisingly good prequel to the 2009 cult favorite that delivers a sort-of-origin story of psychopath Leena (Isabelle Fuhrman), a.k.a. Esther. After killing several people and escaping a secured institution in Estonia, 31-year-old Leena disguises herself as Esther, the missing child of a wealthy American family. Once in America, Esther tries, and mostly fails, to assimilate into her new home. When her spoiled “brother” (Matthew Finlan) becomes suspicious of her bizarre mannerisms, Esther quickly unravels. Things get worse when a nosy investigator (Hiro Kanagawa), hired by the family four years earlier, looks into Esther’s alleged reappearance. What starts off as more or less a repeat of the first movie roars to life when a midpoint twist turns the tables on not only the viewers but Esther; once seen as the villain, Esther/Leena suddenly becomes an antihero, and one worth rooting for. Only a somewhat lackluster ending gets in the way of a super-fun flick. B
SINISTER 2 (2015) An uneven sequel to Scott Derrickson’s terrific original features the now-ex Deputy (James Ransone) from Part 1 doing some DIY investigations into murders and child disappearances which mirror the events of the first film. Connecting these events to a massacre that took place at a remote farmhouse introduces him to its new owner, Courtney (Shannyn Sossmon), and her two young sons (real life brothers Robert Daniel Sloan and Dartanian Sloan). Unknown to the adults, the youngest of the boys is being tormented not just by his abusive father, but by the spirits of the kids who serve the demon, Bughuul. It’s interesting to see the action unfold this time through the viewpoint of the children, but the violent, disturbing atmosphere of the original is replaced here with a more conventional ghost story narrative that, at times, feels stale. Considering the horror happening to him, Robert Sloan’s Dylan is too emotionless and nonchalant to register much sympathy for, while Lea Coco, as Dylan’s father, is so hammy and over the top he comes off as cartoonish. C
I went into the new Scream with low expectations, but wanting so badly to love it. It wasn’t the most necessary of sequels, but knowing that the original cast was returning was exciting. If nothing else, I was looking forward to checking in with their characters again. But since this was the fifth film in the series, the stakes needed to be high. This one needed to matter. We’ve already had four films with essentially the same plot, so if this “requel” didn’t level up, it would be a pointless. In my mind, that meant one of two things had to happen: Sidney Prescott had to die in a blaze of glory — or Sidney Prescott had to be the killer. But whichever way it went, it was time to close the door on Sidney’s too-long arc.
Scream 5 is, unfortunately, a half-baked regurgitation of what has come before. Self-referential? Check. Multiple killers? Check. Killers motivated by fame? Check. It’s fair to say that we want some familiar touchstones — the template for every Friday the 13th is practically the same and I never get sick of those. But with the Scream franchise — thanks to Wes Craven’s genre-defining launch — there’s an expectation of something better…a level of quality that should rise above a by-the-numbers, lazy, cash-grab
But that’s what we got. Oh, all our favorites are back — but every one of them is here strictly for fan service. The “old school” characters are hollow window-dressing in a story that disrespects every one of them. Apart from a phone call with Dewey, Sidney is sidelined for the first hour. Dewey and Gale have, for no justifiable reason, divorced between films — and to really drive a nail in the coffin, Dewey is killed off at the halfway point. He dies like a chump before ever reconciling with Gale. They barely even share screen time. Were you a Randy fan? Well, his teenage niece and nephew have been created for the sole purpose of name-dropping him multiple times. How about Billy? Well, one of the newbies is Billy’s daughter, retconned for the sole purpose of — what did I say? Fan service, and insulting fan service, to boot.
The mystery, such as it is, is rendered pointless when, in the final act, the main killer simply whips out a gun and starts shooting people. It’s like the screenwriters grew tired of their own laziness and gave up. Sidney and Gale, two strong women with a history of conflict, arrive on the scene and for a brief flash, I had hope. Maybe this was the point for Sidney and Gale to bond, work together, and save the day. But no, Gale is shot within seconds of meeting the killer. She survives, but the possibility of seeing something different or interesting play out evaporated at that moment.
The lead actress — playing our new Sidney, I suppose — is a bland, blank slate. Neve Campbell is the embodiment of the word “personality,” and gave us a character we could invest in for decades. This new girl, Sam, is just a CW character gone astray. She brings nothing to the table.
The one surprise is the second killer. Not that there IS a second killer, because that’s pretty apparent early on. It’s their identity that was a surprise. Somehow, they managed to structure the story and cast a performer who worked so well that I was honestly taken aback in a good way.
Word is, there’s another sequel coming. Nobody is asking for it, but we’re getting it. Perhaps they’ll redeem themselves, but given the mess Scream 5 left behind, I wouldn’t count on it. D+
Frank is a Brooklyn native, comic book editor, and horror fanatic. You can follow him on Twitter and Instagram
THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (1974) d: Tobe Hooper. c: Marilyn Burns, Gunnar Hansen, Edwin Neal, Jim Siedow, Paul A. Partain, Allen Danziger. Perhaps the perfect American horror film, this baby not only took the slasher movie to terrifying new levels but gave birth to one of horror cinema’s most memorable, and horrifying, villains: Leatherface. A seemingly fun summer afternoon in backwoods Texas for a van-load of friends is turned into a nightmare when they encounter a family of sadistic cannibals. The simple premise is made the more horrific thanks to Hooper’s handling of the material. The film utilizes sound, disorienting music, and extreme close-ups to create a claustrophobic environment that makes the ordeal intense and authentically brutal. The cast is amateur but good, especially Burns whose character, Sally, became a benchmark for future Final Girls. Unrelentingly suspenseful and unforgivingly grim, Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a masterpiece in horror filmmaking. A
TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE(2022) d: David Blue Garcia. c: Elsie Fisher, Sarah Yarkin, Mark Burnham, Jacob Latimore, Olwen Fouéré, Alice Krige.Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a good example of a sequel being the polar opposite of its predecessor, Tobe Hooper’s seminal 1974 masterwork, also called The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Where Hooper’s film was well-written, smart, and relied on suspense and terror, the new TCM is lazy, soulless, and relies on cartoonish gore to keep you interested. A group of investors celebrating a town renovation project in the middle of nowhere Texas are put through the bloody ringer when old Leatherface (Burnham) comes crawling out of the woodwork, putting the chainsaw to, well, anyone. Leatherface’s cannibalistic needs seems to have disappeared (the film abandons that subplot completely) but his need for wearing the face masks of his victims is still vital. The make-up FX are on the cheap side (over half of the gore seems to be computer-generated), resulting in Bubba’s face looking like it’s melting through most of the movie. The five-minute return of the original’s Final Girl, Sally (Fouéré), is so ridiculously underwritten that it comes off as pointless. The film’s saving grace is the blood-drenched bus massacre scene, which is the only part of the movie that has a pulse – I’m even speculating the scene was an early idea for which the entire movie was written around. A shit stain on an otherwise decent horror film series. D–
FRESHd: Mimi Cave. c: Sebastian Stan, Daisy Edgar-Jones, Jojo T. Gibbs, Charlotte Le Bon, Andrea Bang. Online dating can be a drag, especially for Noa (Edgar-Jones), a bright, likable young woman who’s about to give up on romance until she meets dashing Dr. Steve (Stan). At the skepticism of her best friend (Gibbs), Noa believes she’s met her Prince Charming, that is until he takes her on a mysterious woodsy getaway where he reveals to her the truth about his intentions. Just like Noa, the less you know about Steve (and the overall film) the better. Fresh is a twisted and surprising take on the horror genre, which injects both humor and genuinely unnerving situations into its witty screenplay; this is one of the few horror comedies of recent years to make you laugh and cringe within a matter of seconds. The cast works well together, with Stan standing out in a performance that manages to break him away from his Winter Soldier superhero persona. My only complaints: the nearly two hour runtime feels too long and the intense climax ends too abruptly. B
MASTERd: Mariama Diallo. c: Regina Hall, Zoe Renee, Amber Gray, Talia Balsam, Ella Hunt, Bruce Altman. The new schoolmaster (Hall) and a freshman (Renee), both African American women, of a prestigious, but predominately white, university begin to experience creepy activity around the school while also dealing with oppression and racism. After Jasmine (Renee) discovers the land was once the site of witch trials and executions, rumors begin to circulate that her living quarters are haunted by a malevolent spirit that torments the room’s occupants until death. Is Jasmine the next target of a malignant entity, or is she just the victim of bigotry and student pranks? An ambiguous chiller using ghosts as a metaphor for racism, self-loathing, and identity, Master is well-written and spends time on its characters, building a good amount of tension. Although it lacks the “boo” moments of more traditional haunted house movies, and some of the side characters seem to exist solely to create drama, this is a decent, atmospheric film with several elements taken right out of Suspiria, and good performances from Hall and Renee. B–
NANNYd: Nikyatu Jusu. c: Anna Diop, Sinqua Walls, Morgan Spector, Michelle Monaghan, Rose Decker. Making a new life for herself in New York City, immigrant Aisha (Diop) begins working as a nanny for a wealthy family, desperately trying to save money in order to bring her child over from Africa. Her close relationship with the daughter (Decker) of the family causes feelings of guilt and remorse, and soon Aisha’s mental stability starts to crumble as she experiences visions (or are they?) of a serpent-like being that toys with her buried past. Unlike Master, Nanny unsuccessfully weaves horror movie elements into its psychological metaphors. There are interesting ideas floating around, but they’re never fleshed out or feel relevant enough to the story; they feel more like window dressing for a film that doesn’t exist. Also, to classify Nanny as a horror movie is a leap – a non-horror horror movie? Diop gives a well-rounded performance as Aisha, but it’s not enough to recommend this well-intended, but ho-hum, film. C
PIGGYd: Carlota Pereda. c: Laura Galán, Carmen Machi, Julián Valcárcel, Fernando Degado-Hierro, José Pastor. Hoping to escape the heat and her bullying schoolmates, overweight teen, Sara (Galán), takes a trip to the local pool but becomes witness to the abduction of said bullies by a sadistic killer. Out of desperation and revenge, Sara shrugs off the kidnapping and allows the killer to escape, an act that sets off a chain reaction of violence and, in the killer, creates a connection with Sara. A clever take on the serial killer movie, Piggy has several tricks up its sleeve and keeps you anchored into its sticky situations for most of the runtime. Unfortunately the film abandons its perverse set-up with a cop-out ending that results in a more conventional “happy” conclusion, sadly ruining the build-up it created. C+
RESURRECTIONd: Andrew Semens. c: Rebecca Hall, Tim Roth, Grace Kaufman, Angela Wong Carbone. Hall gives a first-rate performance in this second-rate psycho-thriller about a single mother (Hall) whose past comes back to haunt her in the form of an obsessed sociopath (Roth) who once held her emotionally captive as a teenager. The film starts out well, but ditches its stride when Hall’s character becomes more and more unhinged, creating an almost unsympathetic caricature of the person we had come to know earlier. There are a few intense moments, but the ending is both frustrating and vague, and doesn’t justify having spent an hour and a half with these characters. C
SOMETHING IN THE DIRTd: Justin Beson, Aaron Moorehead. c: Justin Benson, Aaron Moorehead. Masters of making long-winded sci-fi/horror melodramas, Benson and Moorehead (The Endless) have delivered another “mind-bending” opus that, according to the Sundance Film Festival’s movie catalog, is their indie homage to Poltergeist. When a mysterious glass orb begins levitating on its own in his new apartment, an ex-con (Benson) and his unemployed neighbor (Moorehead) decide to make a documentary about the apparently supernatural phenomena in order to make some money, plunging themselves into an even more bizarre predicament than they bargained for. As with their other films, Something in the Dirt has interesting ideas floating around but they are never fully realized, with endless scenes of characters sitting around and talking about theories and pontificating on what could be happening. Sometimes actions speak louder than words, especially in a movie dealing with an overly complicated plot; if you’re going to have characters spitting out scientific theories you need to validate that with coherent action, but that never happens. There’s something very unfortunate about a dumb movie that thinks it’s smart. C–
SPEAK NO EVILd: Christian Tafdrup. c: Morten Burian, Sidsel Siem Koch, Fedja van Huêt, Karina Smulders, Liva Forsberg, Marius Damslev. Trying to place itself alongside the psychologically intense thrillers of Michael Haneke, Speak No Evil is an example of a wannabe horror film that seems to have been made by filmmakers who are embarrassed to admit they want to make a horror movie. When a Dutch family befriends another family while on vacation in Tuscany, they quickly make a close connection, but as sinister truths are slowly revealed they begin to question their friendship. While there are elements to this film that can be classified as horror, the screenplay is trying to be something else and never commits to a solidified idea. The characters come off as cartoonishly passive and allow horrible things to happen to themselves for no reason. A holocaust metaphor, perhaps? A cold and empty movie with vapid characters and predictable twists, this has about as much to say as a Police Academy movie, but without the entertainment value. D
YOU WON’T BE ALONEd: Goran Stolevski. c: Anamaria Marinca, Sara Klimoska, Noomi Rapace, Alice Englert, Félix Maritaud. Fresh blood is pumped into the folk horror subgenre with this artsy piece of filmmaking. In a 19th century European mountain village, a newborn girl, Nevena, is cursed by a spiteful, shapeshifting witch (Marinca) who, 16 years later, takes the young woman (Klimoska) under her wing. When Nevena can’t adjust to life as an outcast demon, she tries to adjust to normality by taking the physical forms of others, including a mother (Rapace) and a male farmer (Maritaud), all with disastrous results. Those expecting a traditional witch-oriented movie in the vein of The Conjuring will be disappointed in You Won’t Be Alone‘s subtle approach to the material. Narrated and told exclusively through the eyes of Nevena, the film is at its center a character study; in many ways it’s a coming-of-age tale that just happens to be about a witch in the 19th century. Although the film often gets swallowed by its overly artistic theatrics, the story is so rich and rewarding you won’t care. B
WATCHERd: Chloe Okuno. c: Maika Monroe, Karl Glusman, Burn Gorman, Madalina Anea. After settling into a new life in Bucharest with her Romanian husband (Glusman), Julia (Monroe), a young American, begins to suspect she’s being followed by someone in the midst of a series of local serial murders. Is Julia next on the killer’s list, or is she just overwhelmed with trying to adjust to a new environment and culture? A surprisingly good little film, this is reminiscent of the paranoia thrillers of the ’60s and ’70s, and has several intense moments that would make Polanski and De Palma proud. Monroe (It Follows) gives a terrific performance, and her character is sympathetic, headstrong, and most importantly, a fighter. A slow burn that builds to a crackerjack climax. B+
Welcome to a new feature on Matt’s Horror Addiction: Versus. Versus takes one film and presents two opposing opinions in head-to-head reviews with my friend and horror movie aficionado, Frank Pittarese. We’ll explain why we loved and hated the same movie, and you can decide who’s right!
Plot
Next of Kin focuses on a young woman (Emily Bader) whose quest to discover her roots brings her to a mysterious, isolated Amish-like farm community. With the help of her boyfriend and a cameraman, the team documents the strange new world, unwittingly exposing themselves to a series of supernatural events.
Frank’s Opinion
This seventh installment in the Paranormal Activity series is either a reboot or a spinoff. It’s unclear which, but there’s no connection to anything that’s come before — which makes this easily disposable because it stinks. I like found footage movies, and I’ve really enjoyed most of the PA films; even the “worst” of them is perfectly viewable. This one suffers from poor storytelling (things happen that just don’t make sense), and truly terrible cinematography, even for the sub-genre. For the bulk of the film, it seems there’s a filter over the lens, added to make things darker and more shadowed — but the vast majority of this movie takes place either by candlelight or at night. That, combined with some of the shakiest camera movements I’ve seen in one of these films creates no end of visual frustration.
Director William Eubank also can’t make up his mind about whether this even IS a found footage movie. Objective camera shots — as you would see in any normal film — are inserted from start to finish. It’s distracting and pulled me right out of the action. The script feels uninspired and lazy (and ripping off REC didn’t help). I was eager for this to end even as the finale unfolded.
On the plus side, the characters are decent. Dan Lippert as Dale, the sound guy, has a few funny moments. The setting is interesting and somewhat atmospheric. But everyone is written to be inherently stupid for the sake of advancing the plot (or serving the format). Even with low expectations, I was disappointed. It felt like a cheap, direct-to-video attempt at folk horror. The biggest letdown is that Christopher Landon wrote this. He scripted Paranormal Activity 2-4, directed both Happy Death Day movies (and wrote the second), and directed and co-wrote the delightful slasher-comedy Freaky. Everyone stumbles, sometimes, I guess. It’s time to bring back Toby. Grade: D–
Matt’s Opinion
The Paranormal Activity series has seen its share of makeovers twice before. The fifth entry, The Marked Ones, brilliantly spun off from the franchise’s main plot by focusing the action on a group of inner-city Latinx teenagers as they discover their neighbor is part of a coven known as The Midwives. The Marked Ones both added to and respected the overall mythology of the series, creating a movie that felt fresh while giving fans what they expected from a PA film. The next entry, The Ghost Dimension, also tried to put a twist on a somewhat tiresome formula by showing audiences the demonic activity that has been plaguing the families in PA 1-4, the invisible Toby. Injecting energy into the action sequences surrounding Toby was the use of 3-D, and while that gimmick works it couldn’t hide the fact the PA films were starting to wear thin.
While Next of Kin isn’t exactly a return to form – I’m not sure I can use that phrase since it doesn’t have anything to do with the other films – it is, I think, I step in the right direction. The new characters are likable and there’s even a touch of Tucker from Insidious in Lippert’s smart alecky Dale. One of my biggest pet peeves in horror movies is unsympathetic characters, and luckily so far in the PA universe we haven’t seen any yet. While Next of Kin‘s characters aren’t as memorable as Katie (Katie Featherston), or the child versions of Katie and her sister, Kirsti, from PA 3, they carry the film smoothly.
The plot doesn’t always make perfect sense, but that doesn’t deter from the main objective of the story, which is to disorient the viewer. Just like the characters, the audience gets a sense of doom and nightmarish qualities in the creepy, atmosphere-heavy farm environment. And although the movie never achieves the intensity of the first movie in the series it does deliver some good scares, especially during the last 20 minutes. Plus, unlike the previous entries, Next of Kin does deliver a flesh and blood creature, and while it might not be what you expect it is far and away from anything the other PA have manifested. On that alone I commend Next of Kin for going a different route, even though the pathway leading to it feels somewhat similar, and welcoming. Grade: B
Stay tuned for another Versus comin’ at ya soon!
Frank Pittarese is a Brooklyn native. You can follow him on Twitter and Instagram.
Those expecting to see something similar to the 2003 cult fav Wrong Turn when they sit down to watch this reboot will be sorely disappointed. Despite having been written by the original Wrong Turn‘s Alan (Halloween 4) McElroy, the new Wrong Turn offers up a completely different tale, one that feels more inspired by Ari Aster’s Midsommar than any of the previous six Wrong Turn flicks. I’m even going to guess this film was written as an “original” story and at the last minute was slapped with the Wrong Turn label at the hands of worried investors.
The only similarity between this new WT and the first movie is the trapped-in-the-woods plot, but unlike the original film none of the characters in this new one at any point take a wrong turn, making the title even more pointless. This new group of aggressively annoying Gen Z hipsters run afoul a violent backwoods community in the wilds of West Virginia, a community of dirty rednecks who dress in animal furs and speak in a Danish dialect. Deformed, ax-wielding hillbillies are out; suave, handsome woodsman are in.
The biggest sin the new WT makes is its overly complicated mythology surrounding the woodsy society known as The Foundation: these characters are not as interesting as the filmmakers think and their history and politics for why they do what they do are unconvincing and hollow. They live in the woods and preach to outsiders and burn their eyes out of their heads because on paper it probably sounded good. What us WT fans want is simple stalk-and-hack splatter fun and not a film, as well made as it is, that’s trying to be something it’s not.
Hey guys! My friend and fellow movie nerd, Aaron Reid, is going to be guest writing this week. Here are Aaron’s reviews on a batch of new and semi-new releases.
Synchronic (2019) “The present is a miracle.” Steve and Dennis, two paramedics, respond to a number of strange accidents where the victims have all experimented with a new designer drug. Rather than an intense high, this drug offers a mind-bending experience that unravels time. When Steve’s daughter goes missing, he and Dennis are forced to learn more about synchronic, the drug that blends the past and the present with deadly consequences. First time watch for me, and I really enjoyed this film. The tone and story paint a bleak picture of our comprehension of time. A bit of a slow start but this movie becomes an exceptional take on time travel once everything falls into place. “Experience time as it actually is rather than the linear way.”
The Wolf of Snow Hollow (2020) “It was a full moon last night.” Bodies begin to accumulate in Snow Hollow coincidentally after the latest full moons, leaving the police force with very few leads and a community panicked about the recent deaths. Detective John Marshall is in over his head trying to solve the murders and managing a stressful personal life. The pressures lead to moments of his unraveling and weakness. Is there a werewolf in Snow Hollow? There just might be. This film expertly blends horror, comedy, and drama into just over 80 minutes, craftily giving us suspense and depicting the fragility of humanity at the same time. First viewing for me. If you haven’t seen it yet, add it to the top of your list. “Maybe it’s a wolf.”
The Beach House (2019) “Don’t be scared.” Emily and Randall escape to his parents’ beach house to rekindle their relationship only to discover Randall’s father invited Mitch and Jane, old friends, to use the vacation home. These two unlikely couples spend an evening together, culminating with the realization that the beach is aglow with an infestation. Soon afterward, these vacationers become aware of an infection in the air, water, and all around. I decided to rewatch this Shudder original. What I like most is the smothering feeling that consumes these characters. There’s not a lot of explanation given, but the film successfully illustrates a complete breakdown, both physical and societal, as life as we know it evolves into something unimaginable.“Windswept microbes of some kind.”
The Dark and the Wicked(2020): “Do you really think the Devil’s out there?” Michael and Louise return home to be with their dying father and support their mother. They soon discover a darkness surrounds the secluded family farm and their parents, an entity that is obsessed with destroying their lives. There’s evil here that is even more foreboding than the intense isolation and looming death. First time watch for me, and I found the horrors in this film to be real and visceral. The building suspense and eerie atmosphere slowly suffocates the audience until we feel the same dread as these characters. Add this to your list if you haven’t watched already. “He’s not out there. He’s already here.”
For more of Aaron’s reviews, please follow him on Instagram and check out his page on Letterboxd!
Road rage is one of those universal events that plague people every day, and while we’ve seen it portrayed in movies before (Duel, Joy Ride) it’s offered up as a straight-forward, unapologetic thrill ride in Unhinged. Directed by German filmmaker Derrick Borte, Unhinged is a high-octane psycho-thriller that moves at a fast pace and, although overloaded with plot conveniences and one of the biggest foreshadowings I’ve ever seen, it’s a film that understands the mechanics of a good race-against-the-clock chiller and how to keep you on the edge of your seat.
Caren Pistorius plays a harried single mother whose busy morning gets even more chaotic when she pisses off a mentally unbalanced killer (Russell Crowe, who gives amazing rage face). Crowe passive-aggressively asks for an apology, but instead gets a face full of dust as Pistorius drives off, leaving him stewing in his own crazy juices and plotting deadly revenge on her and her family.
Essentially a slasher flick with cars, Unhinged is slow to start as we listen to the vapid conversations of cut-and-paste characters. But, when the action kicks in (with a literal slam), the movie becomes a nonstop cat-and-mouse ride that manages to keep you engaged, surprised, and, a few times, shocked. What I liked most about the screenplay (by Carl Ellsworth, writer of Red Eye and Disturbia) is that it wasn’t afraid to get down and dirty.
Crowe is perfectly cast as the madman of the title. Nearly unrecognizable, the Australian actor brakes for no one and goes all out bananas. Just his side-eye glare is enough to send shivers down your spine in what is one of the better, more authentic psycho roles since Heath Ledger in The Dark Knight.
Will Unhinged win any awards for originality? Not likely. But if you want a fun, easy way to spend 90 minutes I highly recommend it.
To rent or purchase Unhinged please go the the website for details.
Anthologies are apparently hot right now, and if you’re a fan of cinematic short stories, you’ll want to check out some of these creep-filled titles
Written and directed by Ryan Spindell, The Mortuary Collection is set in the wind-swept, seaside town of Raven’s End and stars Clancy Brown (who’s make-up makes him look like Monty Burns from The Simpsons) as a retiring funeral home director who tells his prospective successor (Caitlin Fisher) about the weirdest cases that have come through his doors.
Not counting a super short introductory story, the first case involves a fraternity brother (Jacob Elordi) whose sexually inappropriate treatment of women gives him a taste of his own medicine; the second story revolves around a married man (Barak Hardley) whose decision to end his comatose wife’s life backfires with destructive consequences; the final tale pits a babysitter (Fisher) against a mysterious man who shows up inside her house.
The telling-how-the-corpse-died angle isn’t a new one – it was done in the 1993 made-for-cable chiller Body Bags, which I recommend watching (more below). But with its retro period settings and widescreen framing, the film looks and feels like a companion piece to last year’s Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark. Its dark, David Fincher-esque photography is at times a bit too dark to tell what’s going on.
I would have preferred four or five shorter segments than three long ones; several of the stories (including the middle one) felt long and overstayed their welcome. That aside, the film mostly looks great and uses the wide aspect ratio to good measure.
Is it scary? Well, not really. It’s almost too polished (and bloated) and handsome to be truly effective.
Let’s go back a few decades… Amicus Production’s Tales from the Crypt from 1972 is easily my favorite anthology movie of them all. Spinning five juicy tales from several EC Comics of the 1950s, the film features five strangers who are told their fates by the sinister Crypt Keeper (Sir Ralph Richardson). The best and most famous of the stories is “And All Through the House,” featuring Joan Collins as a murderess who, while trying to cover up the murder of her husband, must also protect her child from an escaped maniac roaming the grounds in a Santa costume. This story was later remade by Robert Zemickis as the first episode in the HBO Tales from the Crypt series.
Released the same year is Amicus’ similar anthology, Asylum. Written by Robert (Psycho) Bloch, the film follows a psychiatrist who interviews five patients at an institution for the “incurably insane” to find out which one used to actually be the former head of the hospital. The stories range from a dismembered body coming back to life, to tiny robots that can harbor the soul of a human being, and all are genuinely fun and gruesome. And look out for a young Charlette Rampling!
If you’re into more modern stuff, check out the ‘90s gem Body Bags, from directors John Carpenter and Tobe Hooper. Carpenter stars as a creepy morgue attendant who spins three tales of horror: the first is a homage to Halloween about a young woman (Alex Datcher) at an all-night gas station who is terrorized by an escaped maniac; a wonderfully hammy Stacy Keach stars in the second story about a man obsessed with getting a hair transplant; and the third segment features Mark Hamill as an ex-baseball player whose eye transplant turns him into a different person.
And of course you can’t watch anthology films and not see Creepshow, the 1982 American classic from George Romero and Stephen King. Creepshow is a perfectly constructed live-action comic book with five fast-paced stories, including the infamous cockroach sequence. And, of course, you can always check out Shudder’s reboot/original series of Creepshow; the entire first season has been up and running since last fall and features episodes directed by Tom Savini and Greg Nicotero.
The Mortuary Collection is streaming on Shudder. Tales from the Crypt, Asylum, and Body Bags are currently available on Amazon Prime.