DARKROOM (1989) A dysfunctional family hiding a dark secret is menaced by a prowler who takes photos of his victims before and after hacking them up. Suspects proliferate in the form of a mullet-sporting photographer, a repressed family matriarch, a shaggy-dog teenager, and a roughneck neighbor whose ramshackle cabin harbors the body of one of the family members. After most of the boring characters are slaughtered, it’s revealed that the killer is seeking justice for the aforementioned secret that happened when he was a child. Another monotonous production from Nico Mastorakis, maker of such lowbrow titles as Island of Death (1976) and Ninja Academy (1989).
GHOSTHOUSE (1988) People investigating a house where murders were committed twenty years ago are bombarded by supernatural activity emanating from a little ghost girl and her clown doll. For reasons unexplained, the newcomers are killed in gory fashion, with throat slashing being a particular favorite of the house’s plethora of boogeymen. Several of the characters escape with their lives, but because they’re written into the flimsy screenplay to be dead meat, they find their way back inside the house so they can get terrorized and/or splattered down to size. In terms of haunted house movies, Ghosthouse features everything but the kitchen sink, including the requisite blood running out of the faucet. What the film doesn’t have is likable characters, suspense, or an interesting story—although there are a couple of impressive special effects moments, including a mirror that comes alive and shatters into pieces. An Italian production that was made as part of the inexplicable La Casa series, which mostly consists of pre-existing American films being retitled for Italian distribution—Sam Raimi’s The Evil Dead included!
MARY, MARY, BLOODY MARY (1975) Murder is the ultimate form of artistic expression for a painter traveling through Mexico. Mary (Cristina Ferrare) believes herself to be a free-spirited artist—and a vampire as well. After stabbing a man in the neck mid-coitus, she dines on the gushing blood as if she were at an all-you-can-drink sangria buffet. Mary again gets the quench after picking up a hunky hitchhiker (David Young) but, after forming a bond with him, drugs a fisherman instead and feasts on his wounds. She becomes the subject of lust for a lesbian art dealer who mistakes Mary’s advances for affection and ends up getting her throat slashed. The police hone in on Mary’s sanguinary activities until whipping boy Young is pinned for the crimes. Mary, Mary, Blood Mary takes itself too seriously for such a convoluted movie, which is made worse by rough edits and tacky gore scenes. Ferrare is good, but she’s too good and often feels as if she’s performing for another screenplay. John Carradine has a small part as a mysterious drifter hiding his face under a bandana. Begins well enough, but quickly descends into mediocrity.
