Beaks – 1987, Spain/US, 87m. Director: Rene Cardona, Jr. Streaming: Tubi
Day of the Animals – 1977, US, 98m. Director: William Girdler. Streaming: Roku Channel, Shudder, Tubi
Grizzly – 1976, US, 91m. Director: William Girdler. Streaming: AMC/Prime, Shudder, Tubi
Killer Fish – 1979, Italy, 100m. Director: Antonio Margheriti. Streaming: Tubi
Wild Beasts – 1984, Italy, 92m. Director: Franco Prosperi. Streaming: N/A
BEAKS (1987) Birds seek revenge against their human oppressors in this bird-brained Hitchcock wannabe. Scowling television reporter, Vanessa (Michelle Johnson), and her grinning cameraman lover, Peter (Christopher Atkins), are assigned to cover an incident involving violent chicken attacks and end up scoring the story of a lifetime when the world—which looks suspiciously like Spain—comes under attack by all manner of feathered fiends, but mostly pigeons. The attacks include a small plane taken down by a flock of pigeons, a baby and mother clawed to death, and a game hunter who believes the birds are planning a war with humanity—and has his eye gouged out by a falcon. Stiffly directed and badly acted/dubbed, Beaks is a blatant rip-off of The Birds, right down to the attack on a children’s birthday party. Super lame. Expect a lot of scenes of birds flying in slow motion. The American VHS release entitled Beaks: The Movie (in case you mistook it for Beaks: The Snout?) was shorn of extra gore, with most overseas prints running 100 minutes. You’ll be thankful for those missing minutes. D–
DAY OF THE ANIMALS (1977) The Earth’s ozone layer is depleting, causing chaos around the world, especially in Northern California where the wildlife is turning violent. This is bad news for rugged outdoorsman Christopher George and his large group of wilderness explorers during their excursion through a rocky patch of woods—complete with growling mountain lions, patrolling birds of prey, and grumpy grizzlies. The vacationers include the usual stockpile of characters, including the bickering couple, the wise Native American, the loudmouth Beverly Hills brat, and the naive kid. Director William Girdler learned a lot from his previous nature-gone-amok film, Grizzly, as Day of the Animals is a much more polished, suspenseful production, with the always-welcome team of George and real life wife Lynda Day George on tap for some kick-ass heroics. Taking itself extremely seriously—the film opens with one of those text scrawls reminding us of the dangers of an unbalanced ecosystem—Day of the Animals has its moments of dark humor, with a particularly bitchy character getting attacked not once but twice before her final demise at the beaks of hungry vultures. The film is worth watching alone for the sight of comedic actor, Leslie Nielsen, playing a racist brute who goes mano-a-mano with a very large bear. The bear wins. Good fun! B+
GRIZZLY (1976) Perhaps the first “Jaws on Land” movie to follow in the wake of the Spielberg monster, Grizzly is a film that knows it’s ripping off Jaws, but does it well. The vicious deaths of two backpackers doesn’t bode well for a nearby national park resort when word spreads that the campers were killed and eaten by a rogue, bloodthirsty bear. In the Jaws formula, the plot follows Chief Park Ranger, Kelly (Christopher George), and his merry crew of forest rangers, including bear know-it-all, Scotty (Richard Jaeckel), whose expertise leads him to believe the carnage is the work of a 15-foot grizzly. More pieces of campers surface, causing concern with the park’s supervisor (Joe Dorsey) who’s using the media circus as a ploy to bring in more tourists. The violence escalates when a small boy has his leg ripped off and his mother is killed. Director William Girdler is skillful at setting up the attack sequences, many of which are handled with visceral, gory detail. George makes for a likable Brody-type hero, but one can’t help feel the screenwriters wrote themselves into a corner; unlike the fast-paced climax of Jaws, Grizzly‘s finale is a rather lackluster foot chase. Still, this is an enjoyable piece of ’70s genre filmmaking by the late Girdler, who sadly died in a helicopter crash several years after Grizzly become a box-office hit. B
KILLER FISH (1979) It’s surprising to see Lee Majors, Marisa Berenson, and Karen Black in low-grade cheese like Killer Fish, but here they are, slumming it for Italian exploitation maestro Antonio Margheriti (Cannibal Apocalypse). Shot in Brazil, this heist-horror-jungle adventure (now there’s a sub-sub-subgenre you don’t see much of!) features a gang of thieves trying to retrieve their stolen loot from the bottom of a piranha-infested South American lake. It’s to nobody’s shock when several of the cast members end up getting their limbs torn to shreds by the hungry fish. Unfortunately, it takes way too long to get to that point as we’re forced to watch a good cast chewing the scenery with uninteresting dialogue and tiresome situations, including an amazingly dull romance between Majors and fashion model Margaux Hemingway. They look bored. You’ll be bored. Watch Piranha instead of this snoozefest. D
WILD BEASTS (1984) The first fifteen minutes of Wild Beasts are a total bore, with endless scenes of lifeless characters muttering uninteresting dialogue intermixed with cityscape images more appropriate for a travelogue than a movie. The film comes to life when a couple of hormonal teenagers are eaten to death by hundreds of rats while trapped in their car. This is followed by several instances of characters being torn to shreds by a pride of lions, done in extremely realistic and grisly detail. Say one thing about this Italian production: it really knows how to make you flinch in the face of graphic carnage. As for the plot? It’s the family-friendly story of a European city (Frankfurt, Germany) terrorized by all sorts of escaped zoo animals driven crazy from contaminated water. Unfortunate victims are stampeded to death by elephants, chased by cheetahs, and in a suspenseful sequence, a group of people on a stalled train are forced to watch a man get eaten alive by a tiger. Definitely not a film for those easily rattled, but for the more adventurous viewer Wild Beasts comes recommended. B