Curse of the Crimson Altar – 1968, UK, 85m. Director: Vernon Sewell.
I Dismember Mama – 1972, US, 82m. Director: Paul Leder.
Zombie Holocaust – 1980, Italy, 84m. Director: Frank Martin (Marino Girolami).
CURSE OF THE CRIMSON ALTAR (1968) (AKA: The Crimson Cult) In search of his missing brother, antiques dealer Manning (Mark Eden) drives to a posh country house called Craxted Lodge, which just happens to be located in Manning’s ancestral hometown. Upon his arrival, Manning meets the place’s owner, Morley (Christopher Lee), who insists he’s never heard of Manning’s brother. He eventually learns the place was once ruled by a witch called Lavinia Morley (Barbara Steele) who was burned at the stake but now dwells in some dusty dungeon/torture chamber and surrounds herself with bare-breasted women and a half-naked man adorned in chains and bikini underwear. No, this isn’t an Ed Wood film but a half-baked attempt at trying to create a serious (and unofficial) adaptation of the H.P. Lovecraft story, “Dreams in the Witch House,” by Doctor Who writers Mervyn Haisman and Henry Lincoln. You’d be better off sticking with the original Lovecraft tale. Boris Karloff makes brief appearances, but even his presence can’t save this movie from descending into complete boredom. C– (Currently streaming on Tubi.)
I DISMEMBER MAMA (1972) Within the first few minutes of I Dismember Mama, mother-fixated Albert (Zooey Hall, who’s awful) tries to strangle a nurse at the mental hospital he’s locked away in. Albert is a psychopathic nut job who believes his Mommy Dearest is nothing but a whore who, according to him, “would have been stoned during the Middle Ages.” Albert’s doctor can no longer give him the kind of help he needs and wishes to send the madman to a maximum security facility. It doesn’t matter because Albert kills an orderly, escapes the hospital, and murders his mother’s housekeeper. In a completely tasteless subplot, Albert kidnaps the woman’s young daughter, Annie (Geri Reischl), and grooms the child to be his bride. Annie ultimately realizes Albert is a creep and serves him a much deserved comeuppance by tossing him out a window. An unpleasant and leering film, I Dismember Mama‘s best trait is its bogus moniker—the movie’s real title is Poor Albert and Little Annie, which was most likely changed by thirsty distributors who paired it on a double bill with the equally lifeless Blood Spattered Bride. Director Paul Leder is the father of Hollywood filmmaker Mimi Leder (Deep Impact). Tacky and trite. F (Currently streaming on Tubi.)
ZOMBIE HOLOCAUST (1980) (AKA: Doctor Butcher, M.D., Zombi Holocaust) A hospital orderly responsible for a series of cadaver mutilations is caught red-handed (literally) and throws himself out a window—the dummy’s arm flies off on impact. New York anthropologist Lori (Alexandra Delli Colli) believes the maniac stemmed from a remote Indonesian island where cannibalism and human sacrifices are still culturally accepted. Joined by a health inspector (Ian McCulloch), Lori travels to the island, where they discover a backwoods doctor is turning the locals into brainwashed zombies which—along with the jungle cannibals—offer the viewer ample amounts of blood and guts. One of Lori’s porters is impaled on a bamboo bed of spikes and then eviscerated by the cannibals who stuff their faces with the viscera as if they just sat down to a bowl of spaghetti and meat sauce. This film was clearly not made for vegetarians. Other barf-bag delights include a man getting his eyes gouged out and a zombie’s face getting pulverized by an outboard motor. While obviously fake, the gore effects are grisly and nonstop. For most of its length, Zombie Holocaust looks like an exact copy of Zombie (1979), but maybe that’s because director Frank Martin (a.k.a. Marino Girolami) used the same sets, locations, and even the same actors as the Lucio Fulci film. Being under the tutelage of Fulci definitely served Girolami well, as Zombie Holocaust is a crude but highly entertaining piece of Italian splatter. B (Currently streaming on Plex.)