Absurd – 1981, Italy, 90m. Director: Joe D’Amato.
Blood Cult – 1985, US, 89m. Director: Christopher Lewis.
Offerings – 1989, US, 92m. Director: Christopher Reynolds.
ABSURD (1981) (AKA: Horrible; Monster Hunter) A babysitter and two kids are terrorized by a sadistic madman in this Italian rip-off of Halloween, made by the same people who brought you the family-friendly gore epic Anthropophagus. After awaking in the hospital, post-op, the madman (George Eastman) shoves an electric drill through a nurse’s skull and escapes into the night where he’s pursued by a mysterious priest (Edmund Purdom) who claims Eastman cannot be killed in the traditional sense—and giving the screenplay a convenient way for Eastman to withstand multiple bullet wounds and even a disemboweling! There are no surprises or any suspense found in the course of the 90-minute film. In fact, the lack of any kind of originality gives the movie a bad vibe that’s difficult to shake. The film does offer a truly funny moment in which a group of friends at a football party are dressed in suit-and-tie and eating bowls of linguine. Clearly the filmmakers immersed themselves in American culture before writing this turkey. D (Currently streaming on Tubi.)
BLOOD CULT (1985) You have to give the makers of this direct-to-video splatterfest credit for opening their movie with not only a tribute to Halloween (POV shot of a killer sneaking into a house at night) but also Psycho (a sorority babe is hacked to pieces in the shower). After the opening mayhem, the maniac heads to another sorority house where, meat-cleaver in hand, he decapitates a student and uses the severed head to beat a co-ed unconscious. The police are clueless, but the sheriff’s librarian daughter—an expert in the occult—believes the crimes have ritualistic overtones. More college kids get carved up—a woman has her leg chopped off while (of all things) taking out the trash—until one of the not-so-bright characters realizes parts of each of the victims is being taken by the killer. If you’ve seen H.G. Lewis’s Blood Feast you’ll have an understanding of where the plot of Blood Cult is going. That’s not to disparage the film entirely—Blood Cult is better made than it deserves to be. The writers pumped more character development and story structure into the paper-thin plot than you’d expect from such a bargain-basement slasher flick. But, it’s still a bargain-basement slasher flick—where else are you going to see a movie featuring a hero who resembles Roger Ebert? C+ (Currently not available.)
OFFERINGS (1989) Tired of being victimized by the world, young Johnny takes revenge by murdering his abusive mother and cannibalizing her. A decade later, the now grown but still very psychotic Johnny (Richard A. Buswell) escapes from the local sanitarium and returns to his childhood neighborhood to pick up where he left off by killing those who tormented him as a kid. A teenager’s skull is crushed in a vice and one of his fingers is left on the front porch of the girl (Loretta Leigh Bowman) who was nice to the madman as a child. Bowman receives more “gifts” from Johnny, including a severed ear—perhaps a homage to Blue Velvet?—and a pizza topped with human remains. The desecrated grave of Johnny’s mother is found with the headstone shattered in a scene that was obviously influenced by Halloween. In fact, so much of Offerings is ripped from the John Carpenter film that the viewer must constantly remind themselves the movie is not a parody—although one will most likely chuckle at the sight of a single teardrop emanating from the killer’s eye after being shot to pieces in the ludicrous ending; a particularly weird touch by the filmmakers. But like the majority of the movie, it’s not worth your time. C– (Available on YouTube.)