A Blade in the Dark, Food of the Gods 2, Murder Rock

A Blade in the Dark – 1983, Italy 108m. Director: Lamberto Bava.

Food of the Gods Part 2 – 1989, Canada, 91m. Director: Damien Lee.

Murder Rock: Dancing Death – 1984, Italy, 93m. Director: Lucio Fulci.

A BLADE IN THE DARK (1983) (AKA: House of the Dark Staircase) A novice composer, Bruno (Andrea Occhipinti), writing the score to a new horror movie is thrust into a real life nightmare when a woman is killed by a slasher outside his villa. The body vanishes but like David Hemmings in Blow-Up, Bruno becomes obsessed with the mystery and believes clues to the identity of the killer can be found in the last reel of the horror film he’s working on. A second woman is murdered by the maniac in the bathroom—the bathtub is painted red when her throat is sliced open with a carving knife—and the body again disappears. This Italian, Hitchcock-influenced chiller is accentuated by its Argento-like style but often feels padded in the story department, most likely the result of the movie’s conception as a television miniseries before it was denied by the censors and released theatrically. As it is, A Blade in the Dark is a watchable if routine thriller that should please giallo aficionados and gore fans alike. B

FOOD OF THE GODS PART 2 (1989) (AKA: Gnaw: Food of the Gods 2) An experimental growth hormone grows out of whack and turns its test subjects (the common rat) into oversized beasts. The mutated rodents escape from a university lab and terrorize the campus by turning the population into rat chow. Scientist Paul Coufos’s warnings of danger are ignored by the campus dean, who’s more concerned with the grand opening of the school’s Olympic-sized swimming pool than by the student body being devoured by giant vermin. This subplot leads into the movie’s most memorable scene, where a group of synchronized swimmers are attacked Jaws-style. The film’s gore level is fairly high as body parts are severed and faces are graphically chewed off—one guy gets bitten on the ass while taking a leak in some bushes. The filmmakers try to offset the splatter by having the annoying girlfriend of Coufos continually lecturing him on the immorality of animal testing. Coufos eventually uses “The Pied Piper of Hamelin” to lure the rats to their demise in a sequence that reaches new heights in stupidity. Real rats are placed in miniature sets and are mostly convincing but the effects aren’t really any better than the same method used in the first Food of the Gods (1976), which has nothing to do with this dubious, in-name only sequel. D

MURDER ROCK: DANCING DEATH (1984) Competition at a New York dance academy is murder when the student body dwindles from the activities of a killer. The school’s star pupil is stabbed to death in the shower room, after which her moping boyfriend causes a scene during rehearsal by becoming the film’s red herring. The next student (who, like Jennifer Beals in Flashdance, moonlights as an adult entertainer) is strangled in her apartment—the maniac even kills the victim’s parakeet by sticking a pin in it. The massacred students doesn’t concern the school’s director (Olga Karlatos), who’s too busy lusting after a washed up B-model (Ray Lovelock) with an obvious link to her traumatizing past involving a hit-and-run. The lead detective spends more time chewing the scenery than solving the crimes, and prolongs this dramatically inept murder mystery to the point of exhaustion. By the time the killer is revealed viewers are more likely to have fallen asleep than be on the edge of their seats. A movie in need of a brain, and working light bulbs. One of Lucio Fulci’s worst. D+

Beast of Yucca Flats, Rat Man, Return of the Exorcist

The Beast of Yucca Flats – 1961, US, 55m. Director: Coleman Francis.

Rat Man – 1988, Italy, 82m. Director: Giuliano Carnimeo.

The Return of the Exorcist – 1975, Italy, 89m. Director: Angelo Pannacciò, Luca Damiano.

THE BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS (1961) A Russian scientist (Tor Johnson) on the lam with Soviet secrets is chased into the Nevada desert, where radiation from atomic bomb testing turns him into a disfigured killer. This notorious B&W cheapie lives up to its reputation as one of the worst movies of all time. Its plotless story structure is further harmed by a meandering pace, little-to-no dialogue, and a hackneyed voiceover narration that sounds like it was taken from an Ed Wood flick—in fact, producer Anthony Cardoza was one of Wood’s collaborators on Night of the Ghouls (1959), which also stars Johnson. Watch only if you wish to know the true meaning of suffering. This was Johnson’s last screen appearance before his death in 1971. F

RAT MAN (1988) A demented science experiment produces a two-foot monstrosity (Nelson de la Rosa) that escapes its cage and begins murdering people on a Caribbean island. An American (Janet Agren) in town to find out what happened to her fashion model sister—all her model friends have been shredded by the rat man—seeks the help of a mystery writer (David Warbeck), who just happens to understand how the plots of low-budget Italian slashers work. The two sleuths, along with a boneheaded photographer and his model girlfriend, stumble upon the scientist’s jungle lair where, in a revolting scene, the rat creature eviscerates the doctor’s assistant and gnaws on the innards. Rat Man was made by people who’ve worked on several Lucio Fulci films, for which many viewers is a sign of quality. For others, it’s a good reason to skip this fruitless bloodbath that isn’t nearly as over-the-top as you’d expect. Pity. C

THE RETURN OF THE EXORCIST (1975) (AKA: Cries and Shadows) A nun goes to check on her younger brother and finds the lad tied to a bed, spouting obscenities with his head twisted backwards. Through flashbacks we learn the teen in question (Jean-Claude Verné) has become the victim of a succubus who captured his soul through a photograph. Taking the form of voluptuous redhead, the succubus (Mimma Monticelli)—in a surprisingly clever sequence—tricks Verné into cutting its throat with a knife, simultaneously slicing open Verné’s girlfriend’s jugular, miles away at a disco. The number of lesbian love scenes is quite high as Monticelli seduces the majority of the female cast, including Verné’s Ellen Burstyn-like mother. After the obligatory failed medical tests, an exorcist (Richard Conte) is called in to cast the horny demon out once and for all. The special FX are convincing and done with a fair amount of detail—those expecting Dick Smith-level facial deformities and pea soup vomit might be disappointed by the lack of gratuitous gore. What Return of the Exorcist does offer is better acting, direction, and writing than you’d expect from what is really just another Italian clone of The Exorcist. But, in terms of rip-offs, this is one of the better ones. B

The Ghost Dance, Just Before Dawn, The Slasher

The Ghost Dance – 1982, US, 96m. Director: Peter F. Buffa.

Just Before Dawn 1981, US, 91m. Director: Jeff Lieberman.

The Slasher… is the Sex Maniac! – 1972, Italy, 88m. Director: Roberto Bianchi Montero.

THE GHOST DANCE (1982) An archeological dig on Native American land releases a malevolent spirit that possesses a local man (Henry Bal) and turns him into a bloodthirsty killer. Bal cuts his wife’s throat before turning into a Rottweiler and tearing his neighbor to pieces. More murders threaten to shut down the excavation, which is overseen by anthropology professor (and Judith Light lookalike) Julie Amato, whose close attachment to the project makes her the perfect puppet for Bal’s mind games. Bal takes the form of a cat and sneaks into Amato’s home to watch her disrobe. Amato’s colleague (James Andronica) figures out what’s going on and is stabbed in the back (literally) by Bal before he can warn others. Amato’s boyfriend (Victor Mohica) seeks help from a medicine man/exorcist whose past experiences makes him the perfect candidate to ward off the evil entity. The Ghost Dance might lack substance but the filmmakers put more thought and characterization into the screenplay than you’d expect from a slasher vehicle. In fact, up until the predictable ending, The Ghost Dance is fairly taught stuff with good acting and clever makeup work. B

JUST BEFORE DAWN (1981) Backpackers venturing into deep Oregon wilderness are stalked by a machete-wielding madman and his equally demented twin brother. The friends turn a blind eye to hostile locals and signs of impending danger and—like the pompous city folk of Deliverance—move forward with their camping until they suffer a fate worse than death. The massacre begins with a hunter getting impaled through the crotch (in an especially gruesome moment, the serrated blade comes out the poor guy’s rear end). One of the newcomers is stabbed in the gut and left to bleed out while his friend is descended upon by the psychotic brothers in an intense scene. A mountain girl tries to help the remaining characters by flagging down a forest ranger (George Kennedy), but it’s the mild-mannered camper (Deborah Benson) who, in the midst of terror, transforms into a fighter and takes matters into her own hands, literally. Just Before Dawn contains the normal amount of stalk-n-slash cliches, but it’s too effectively made to write off as just another Friday the 13th clone. In terms of tone and atmosphere, the film actually has more in common with The Hills Have Eyes, and builds to a genuinely unsettling ending. Foreign prints run 102 minutes. B

THE SLASHER… IS THE SEX MANIAC (1972) (AKA: Penetration; The Slasher; So Sweet, So Dead) Unfaithful housewives are turning up maimed by a serial killer who leaves behind photos of the deceased having sex with their lovers. Detective Farley Granger refers to the victims as “whores” and immediately becomes Prime Suspect No. 1, as well as losing sympathy votes with the audience. Several married women discuss the crimes while lounging nude at a day spa. In one of the most obvious red herring subplots of all time, Granger discovers the local coroner is a weirdo who takes pictures of his female clientele. Granger’s professor friend (Chris Avram) suggests the killer is either homosexual or impotent, but taking anything seriously in this incredulous movie would be a mistake. In a completely tasteless move, Granger allows the maniac to carve up his cheating wife before unmasking the killer and shooting him dead. Whatta hero! An uninspired Italian slasher that reeks of misogyny. Graphic scenes involving porn king Harry Reems were apparently inserted into the American release, but I doubt even hardcore nudity could liven up this dead turkey. D

Evils of the Night, Memorial Valley Massacre, Tales from the Darkside

Evils of the Night – 1985, US, 85m. Director: Mardi Rustam.

Memorial Valley Massacre – 1988, US, 92m. Director: Robert Hughes.

Tales from the Darkside: The Movie – 1990, US, 93m. Director: John Harrison.

EVILS OF THE NIGHT (1985) Aliens that look suspiciously like 1960s bombshells Julie Newmar (Catwoman in the Batman TV series) and Tina Louise (Ginger from Gilligan’s Island) subject teens to medical tests before draining their blood as a food source. The otherworldly beings bamboozle a couple of bumpkins (Neville Brand and Aldo Ray) into kidnapping their victims from a local swimming hole crawling with half-naked babes and horny jocks. Clad in Lycra miniskirts, the aliens and their busty minions use a hospital to cover up their devious actions, which conveniently saves the filmmakers from spending money on building a spaceship (judging from the production, the budget was probably around the same as an Al Adamson film). Several teenagers are kept in the basement of an auto repair shop and tormented by Brand, who skewers a blonde with a power drill when she tries to escape. The aliens ultimately fail at their experiments, with Louise melting into a puddle of green liquid before head alien scientist John Carradine flies back into outer space. Evils of the Night is cheap and unconvincing within the context of sci-fi/horror. The acting is ludicrous and the special effects are barely noticeable. It is, however, unabashedly entertaining in a train wreck way, with Ray in howlingly awful form. Worth watching for the bad movie lover. Ed Wood would be proud! B

MEMORIAL VALLEY MASSACRE (1988) (AKA: Memorial Day) The grand opening of the Memorial Valley campground is hijacked by a bucktoothed halfwit who takes a disliking to the abundance of annoying vacationers who’ve invaded his territory. Since the majority of the characters are cretins, douchebags, and tools, the viewer will cheer for the bloody antics of the killer (Mark Caso) who, decked out in a dime store caveman getup, whittles down the camp’s population with axes, spears, and crude booby traps. The most irritating of the lot is an overweight brat who’s beaten with a log and his body dumped in a trash heap. A war vet and his bimbo wife are blown to bits in their RV after Caso ruptures the gas line. The kills are often elaborate and well-executed but the film itself is too flat to muster any excitement over. The same can be said about the screenplay, which spends too much time on a boring squabble between head ranger John Karry and the camp owner’s son (Mark Mears). That subplot goes nowhere, much like this incessantly moronic film. D

TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE: THE MOVIE (1990) Big screen adaptation of the syndicated anthology television series created by George A. Romero, who in bitter irony wrote the weakest of the three stories featured in the movie. The first (and best) tale is written by Michael McDowell and based on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s short story about the resurrection of a 3,000 year old mummy used in a gruesome revenge plot. Romero’s take on a Stephen King tale results in the disappointing sophomore segment involving a hitman who meets his match in the form of a demonic cat. The final chapter livens things up with a terrific K.N.B. FX creature that comes to life after a lovelorn artist fails to keep a secret. Tales from the Darkside might not be on the same level as other anthology titles (namely Creepshow) but it’s entertaining, well paced, and a spotlight for a plethora of talented actors, including Steve Buscemi, Julianne Moore, James Remar, Rae Dawn Chong, and in the film’s wraparound, rocker Debbie Harry as a suburban cannibal. Flawed but fun. B

Please check Just Watch for streaming info.

Bloodmoon, Nightwing, Return of the Living Dead II

Bloodmoon 1990, Australia, 100m. Director: Alec Mills.

Nightwing 1979, US, 104m. Director: Arthur Hill.

Return of the Living Dead Part II 1988, US, 89m. Director: Ken Wiederhorn.

BLOODMOON (1990) Posh St. Elizabeth’s School for Girls becomes the stomping ground for a savage killer in this Prom Night/Final Exam/House on Sorority Row clone made in Australia. The maniac’s choice of weapon is a piece of barbed wire he uses to garrote his victims before gouging their eyes out and cutting off their fingers—he later conceals the bodies in soil as to not bring attention to his crimes. The woodsy location gives the killer the perfect opportunity to sneak up on the multitude of students having sex, and supplying viewers with copious amounts of bared breasts. The film’s whodunit angle is dropped halfway through when it’s revealed the murderer is a nebbish cuckold who’s set off by the sight of embracing lovers. After a good start, the movie descends into tedious melodrama involving bland characters and uninteresting situations that are exacerbated by a needlessly long 100-minute runtime. If anything, Bloodmoon is an example of a subgenre well past its prime. C

NIGHTWING (1979) A small Indian reservation in New Mexico is bombarded by vampire bats as the result of a Native American curse. The surrounding lands are at first affected by a series of animal mutilations that bewilder the locals, that is until the sheriff’s (Nick Mancuso) adoptive father—the High Priest who cursed the land—is killed the same way. A scientist (David Warner) tries to warn authorities of the impending bat threat but his words fall on deaf ears. The hotshot tribal councilman (Stephen Macht) who wishes to sell the land to an oil company wants to keep the bat attacks under wraps, especially when Warner discovers the bats are carrying a strain of bubonic plague. Nightwing is based on a book, but the film is modeled after Spielberg’s Jaws—there’s even a climactic sequence where Mancuso’s law officer and Warner’s bat expert team up in an effort to destroy the winged menace. This would work if Nightwing stuck to its when-animals-attack principles, but instead the screenplay wallows in Native American folklore and Mancuso’s disillusioned cop to the point the viewer loses interest long before the fiery ending. C

RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD PART II (1988) More zombie shenanigans as another canister of weaponized gas is unleashed onto an unsuspecting populace. This time the toxin is released by a trio of middle schoolers who spread the contagion to their quiet suburban neighborhood by turning the place into a zombie jamboree. The decision to front-load Part 2 with heavy amounts of slapstick might have been due to the recent popularity in more kid-friendly fair like The Naked Gun. This would also explain making an eleven-year-old comic book nerd (Michael Kenworthy) the hero. So memorable in the earlier movie, both James Karen and Thom Mathews return but play completely different characters, showing what little thought went into what is essentially just a retread of the first film. Director/writer Ken Wiederhorn previously helmed the atmospheric chiller Shock Waves (1977). C

Check Just Watch for streaming info!

Autopsy, Opera, The Prowler

Autopsy 1975, Italy, 100m. Director: Armando Crispino.

Opera 1987, Italy, 107m. Director: Dario Argento.

The Prowler1981, US, 89m. Director: Joseph Zito.

AUTOPSY (1975) (AKA: The Victim) A heatwave coincides with a series of suicides in Rome. A woman slashes her wrist with a razor, while a man sets himself on fire inside his car. Another man machine guns himself in the chest while his two children lay dying beside him. Nervous medical student Mimsy Farmer, who has the personality of a tick, investigates the recent string of deaths when her pretty neighbor turns up on the slab with a self-inflicted bullet to the head. Farmer is joined by the victim’s boorish brother (Barry Primus) who believes Farmer’s real estate mogul father had something to do with his sister’s demise. There’s a suggestion that solar flares are responsible for the mysterious deaths, but the screenplay shifts to a boring subplot involving a murder cover-up. Stiff and overlong, and Farmer is massively unappealing as the protagonist. D

OPERA (1987) (AKA: Terror at the Opera) A young opera singer (Cristina Marsillach) is terrorized by a demented fiend in this twisted take on the Phantom of the Opera scenario—as only Dario Argento could tell it. The night Marsillach makes her debut in Verdi’s Macbeth brings joy and terror after a stagehand is impaled in the head by a mad slasher who later kidnaps the singer and forces her to watch him murder her lover by taping needles under her eyelids. In a particularly gruesome detail, the killer’s blade slices into the man’s jaw and protrudes through the inside of his mouth. The next victim gets her throat cut open after accidentally swallowing a piece of evidence that belongs to the maniac. Most of the bloodshed is accompanied by a heavy metal soundtrack, although the best scene is done in slow motion as the bullet from a fired gun travels through a peephole and through the head of Marsillach’s agent (Daria Nicolodi). Other visual trickery includes close-ups of a pulsating brain, signifying the killer’s proximity to Marsillach. As with the majority of films in the Argento canon, character and plot aren’t as important as style, in which case Opera delivers. A good example is the discovery of the killer’s identity through the use of the opera’s live ravens, who earlier attacked the madman after he killed several of the birds. The overblown ending doesn’t do much other than prove to the viewer that the film should have ended ten minutes earlier. B

THE PROWLER (1981) The return of Avalon Bay’s graduation dance 35 years after an unsolved double murder ignites a new series of slaying by someone in army fatigues. The film wastes little time in getting to the red stuff, which is dumped out by the gallon. A man getting ready for the dance is skewered through the head with a bayonet, after which his girlfriend is impaled with a pitchfork in the shower. The police check on an invalid in a wheelchair who lives next to the girls’ dormitory and discover the missing old man was the father of one of the victims from 1944. The prowler sneaks past the cops and slices open the class bimbo’s throat in the swimming pool—as her body sinks below the water, air bubbles escape from the open wound, giving the scene a chillingly realistic touch. The rest of The Prowler is standard slasher fair done with a level of professionalism many other slashers of the time lacked, including good acting and a few suspenseful set pieces. Tom Savini’s special effects are top-notch and Joseph Zito’s direction polished. B

Please check Just Watch for current streaming info!

The Black Cat, The Boy Who Cried Werewolf, Student Bodies

The Black Cat 1981, Italy, 91m. Director: Lucio Fulci.

The Boy Who Cried Werewolf1973, US, 93m. Director: Nathan Juran.

Student Bodies 1981, US, 86m. Director: Mickey Rose, Michael Ritchie.

THE BLACK CAT (1981) A man, seemingly hypnotized by a black cat, drives his car off the road and smashes through the windshield, killing himself. This violent pre-credits sequence is suspenseful and well executed. Unfortunately, it also happens to be one of the few exciting moments in an otherwise mediocre supernatural thriller from Italy’s reigning king of spaghetti splatter, Lucio Fulci. Although the film is based on the Edgar Allan Poe short story, the plot has very little to do with its source material. The movie—as far as I can tell—is about a codger (Patrick Magee) who, through a psychic link, uses his cat as a conduit to manipulate the murders of those he feels wronged him at some point in his life. The British countryside and use of British actors doesn’t stop Fulci from bringing out his trademark zoom lens (which he uses on Magee by repeatedly focusing on the man’s eyebrows) and on-screen carnage, the best instance being a woman’s demise by fire—her eyes manage to move as her face goes up in flames, giving the sequence a particularly unnerving touch. For Fulci aficionados only. C+

THE BOY WHO CRIED WEREWOLF (1973) A divorcee (Kerwin Mathews) and his young son (Scott Sealy) are attacked by a werewolf while on a camping trip. The wolf man dies in the attack but Mathews is bitten and, come the next full moon, transforms into a fanged beast. Sealy’s excitement over his father’s battle with a werewolf takes control of him but troubles others, who write the boy off as having an overactive imagination. Mathews goes on a bloody bender the first night out in hairy form, causing a traffic accident and tearing a TV repairman to pieces. Since this is a post-modern werewolf movie we get the obligatory scenes of Mathews arguing with his ex-wife (Elaine Devry) and encounters with a hippie commune that’s an updated version of the gypsies from the old B&W monster movies that supplies characters (and audiences) with answers to the metaphysical questions. Goofy werewolf makeup and too many day-for-night shots give them film a slightly campy vibe, but this is still a harmlessly enjoyable film if seen in the right light. C+

STUDENT BODIES (1981) A stupid but enjoyable parody of slasher movies that laid the ground work for slapstick horror comedies like Scary Movie. Opening on the “holiday” of Jamie Lee Curtis’s Birthday, the film goes right into a send-up of Halloween and When a Stranger Calls as a dimwitted babysitter is tormented by the Breather, a killer who’s knocking off the local sexed-up teens with paper clips, egg plants, bookends, or whatever item is lying around. The plot is strictly boilerplate but makes way for the nonstop sight gags and jokes that arrive with such a quick pace that you might miss a punchline if you’re not paying attention. If you spliced together Prom Night with Airplane! you’ll get the general idea. Not all of the jokes work, but the majority of them are quite funny and the script is smart enough to take the cliches of slashers past and use them to its advantage. While not as outrageous as Kentucky Fried Movie, Student Bodies is an improvement over Saturday the 14thB

Please check Just Watch for up-to-date streaming information.

The Borrower, The Dark, Zombie 3

The Borrower1991, US, 92m. Director: John McNaughton.

The Dark1979, US, 91m. Director: John ‘Bud’ Cardos.

Zombie 3 – 1988, Italy/Philippines, 84m. Director: Lucio Fulci, Bruno Mattei.

THE BORROWER (1991) An alien is cast out for killing its own kind and sent to Earth in an unstable makeshift human form. When the form deteriorates, the alien must use fresh heads as replacements—the first of which is ripped off a hillbilly (Tom Towles) before descending into the seedy underbelly of Los Angeles. A homicide detective (Rae Dawn Chong) takes notices of the crimes and pursues the alien, but unlike Michael Nouri in The Hidden—which The Borrower resembles in many ways—Chong doesn’t have the help of Kyle MacLachlan’s intelligent alien bounty hunter and must use her street smarts to catch the extraterrestrial. In one of the film’s funniest and genuinely shocking moments, the “borrower” tries to acclimate to suburban life by taking over the existence of a medical doctor only to end up using the head of the family dog. In fact, so much of The Borrower works, it’s a wonder why the movie hasn’t attained a following in the same regard as director John McNaughton’s critical darling Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer. Kevin Yagher’s makeup FX are excellent and convincing. Terrific stuff! B+

THE DARK (1979) A woman walking alone at night is attacked by a humanoid beast. She’s later found beheaded. A local news reporter (Cathy Lee Crosby) investigates the crime and discovers the victim’s father (William Devane) is a recently paroled ex-con who, while up the river, wrote trashy novels about the occult. The creature later blows up a factory worker’s head by shooting lasers of out its eyes. A psychic (Jacquelyn Hyde) who’s been having visions of the murders goes to the police but barely provides enough information for them to do anything. After more people are decapitated, Crosby and Devane team up to try and stop the mayhem, and engage in a little flirtation. The unstoppable monster (deriving from space, I think) takes out half of the LAPD in a flashy climax before going up in flames. Hyde supplies the film with the funniest moment when a struggling actor looking for love suggests he’s not gay. Her response: “Give yourself time. Ambition can work miracles.” A strange, totally illogical, completely enjoyable B-movie. B

ZOMBIE 3 (1988) (AKA: Zombi 3) A commando squad on leave is forced to fight the never-ending battle with the walking dead, which have invaded a small town in the Philippines. The soldiers include the typical Americanized idiots who, as expected, run into a group of Americanized idiot tourists who exist solely to get eaten and/or turned into zombies. Even animals aren’t immune to the zombie plague as an infected flock of birds crashes into a bus, swarming and pecking the commuters. Zombie 3 isn’t so much a sequel to Lucio Fulci’s 1979 Zombie (released in Europe as Zombi 2) but a remake—the zombies here are the result of a failed government experiment called Death One, as opposed to Caribbean voodoo in the earlier movie. The zombies range from slow-walking stiffs to hyper-animated ghouls—some even sprint towards their victims with weapons, just like in Nightmare City (1980). A lack of financial support is evident in the film’s murky photography and chintzy acting. The makeup is inconsistent but bloody, with some of the contaminants oozing green pus instead of gore. Fulci himself directed the majority of Zombie 3 but left the production due to collaborative differences and was replaced by Bruno Mattei. (Mattei’s secondhand experience in the genre was proven with his Dawn of the Dead rip-off, Hell of the Living Dead.) Splashes of creativity (including a zombie birth scene!) occasionally lift Zombie 3 out of the doldrums of a subgenre past its prime. This was apparently successful enough to spawn two more unauthorized sequels. C

Please check Just Watch for current streaming information.

Hunter’s Blood, The Seduction, Tenebre

Hunter’s Blood1986, US, 100m. Director: Robert Hughes.

The Seduction1982, US, 104m. Director: David Schmoeller.

Tenebre – 1982, Italy, 101m. Director: Dario Argento.

HUNTER’S BLOOD (1986) Yet another city-folk-versus-redneck shocker—a subgenre practically unto its own—made in the wake of John Boorman’s Deliverance (1972). What separates Hunter’s Blood from the rest of the pack is the fact it’s actually quite good. Upper-class friends on a hunting expedition in backwoods Arkansas run into a family of demented poachers who’ve been illegally selling venison to a meatpacking company. The toothless natives don’t take kindly to outsiders messing around their business and pull out their shotguns and buck knives to secure the continuation of the family business. Macho Clu Gulager, pack leader of the civilized group, threatens the philistine woodsmen with violence and escalates the already turbulent waters by declaring all-out war. The bloodshed runs thick and fast, with one poor victim getting skinned and strung up a tree naked. Another is found decapitated in the swamps. The bumpkins’ territory is eventually overcome when mild-mannered physician Sam Bottoms turns “savage” by killing several forest people with his bare hands. Gory, funny, and intense. B

THE SEDUCTION (1982) The producer of Halloween, Irwin Yablans, is at it again with this formulaic stalk-and-slash rip off of The Fan. Morgan Fairchild stars as a glamorous Los Angeles television reporter who becomes the obsession of hunky psycho Andrew Stevens—who just happens to live in a geographically convenient hilltop house where he can snap pictures of Fairchild taking late night nude swims with a telephoto lens. Stevens downgrades from suave voyeur to garden variety peeping Tom after breaking into Fairchild’s home and watching her bathe from a closet—queue the obligatory masturbation scene. Fairchild’s boyfriend (Michael Sarrazin) seeks advice from a cop friend—just like Gregory Peck in Cape Fear—but fails to deliver any justice when the knife starts tearing into flesh. Fairchild is naturally likable in a thankless role that doesn’t give her much material to work with other than being naked or crying; the same can be said for Stevens, who’s creepy but left adrift in a screenplay that has him endlessly staring through a camera lens. Might have worked better as a TV movie. C

TENEBRE (1982) (AKA: Tenebrae) After the supernatural twosome of Suspiria and Inferno, Italian auteur Dario Argento returned to his giallo roots with this slasher extravaganza. American novelist Anthony Franciosa is subjected to psychological torture when a killer uses Franciosa’s newest book as inspiration for a series of murders. The gloved maniac not only leaves notes for Franciosa but takes aftermath photos of his gory crime scenes. The characters are the usual high-strung individuals portrayed by anxiety-ridden actors found in the majority of Italian horror movies of the time—but if there’s any reason Tenebre works, it’s because of Argento’s flamboyant style. As with Deep Red and Suspiria, it’s the murder sequences that are the real stars of the film, the best being a prolonged tracking shot of a young girl pursued by a guard dog before accidentally fleeing into the killer’s house, a particularly brilliant use of audience manipulation and suspense. The rest of the movie is standard Italian psychodrama fair highlighted by Argento’s use of color, music, and camera angles. In other words, a flashy but empty splatter vehicle. Great soundtrack, though. B

Check Just Watch for current streaming info!

April Fool’s Day, Basket Case, The Church

April Fool’s Day1986, Canada/US, 89m. Director: Fred Walton.

Basket Case 1982, US, 91m. Director: Frank Henenlotter.

The Church 1989, Italy, 102m. Director: Michael Soavi.

APRIL FOOL’S DAY (1986) A practical joke gone horrible awry sets the tone for this Agatha Christie-inspired slasher. Friends partying on a private island for spring break are done in by a killer who may or may not be the demented escapee twin of the wealthy hostess (Deborah Foreman). Drinking and flirting turns to worry and panic when people start inexplicably disappearing, including the trickster (Griffin O’Neal) whose earlier prank sent a ferryman to the hospital. Or is it all just an elaborate hoax? The screenplay spends more time on character and mystery than bloodshed, and in doing so delivers a solid thriller that balances suspense with laughs. The film’s “is-it-real?” scenario is, in a way, a parody of a subgenre that often took itself a bit too seriously. The good cast also helps bring the story to life, especially Friday the 13th alumna (and fan favorite) Amy Steel, as well as eighties regulars Clayton Rohner (I, Madman), Deborah Goodrich (Just One of the Guys), Ken Olandt (Summer School), and Tom Wilson of Back to the Future fame. It underperformed at the box office, but April Fool’s Day eventually gained a wider audience through repeat viewings on late night television and is now considered a cult classic—and comes highly recommended. Director Fred Walton previously helmed the 1979 sleeper When a Stranger Calls. B+

BASKET CASE (1982) A young man named Duane (Kevin Van Hentenryck) arrives in New York City to find the doctors who separated him from his conjoined twin brother, Belial—a one-foot tall, deformed creature with a thirst for revenge. Belial immediately goes about tearing off the faces of the doctors who wronged him and Duane, as well as anyone who gets in their way, which includes a plethora of seedy city types. Basket Case‘s minuscule budget is quite noticeable but ironically it adds flavor to the film’s gruesome atmosphere, something its bigger budgeted and slicker sequels lack. In fact, the film’s vulgar, grand guignol vibe plays extremely well with director Frank Henenlotter’s dark sense of humor, which is pumped into many of Belial’s gore-drenched escapades—including when one of the doctors gets a taste of her own medicine by having her face pulverized with a half-dozen scalpels. A twisted little gem, not to be missed. B+

THE CHURCH (1989) The restoration of a large cathedral uncovers the sinister truth behind the place’s nefarious history. Built over the mass grave of murdered 12th century villagers by a superstitious sect known as the Teutonic Order, the church becomes infused with evil powers and traps a group of employees and tourists within its structure. When a librarian (Tomas Arana) breaks open a seal in the basement, he unleashes a demonic force which subsequently possesses and turns him into a moody dope who incessantly pounds the “6” on his typewriter. Arana infects more people, turning them into demons until the place becomes a regular monster jamboree. One of the characters suffering from demonitis takes his own life by impaling himself on a jackhammer. Random characters try to find a way out through the labyrinthine dwelling but meet gruesome ends, including an insufferable bonehead who digs through to the underground transit system only to get her face splattered across the windshield of a train. In a rip-off of Rosemary’s Baby, a woman (Barbara Cupisti) lies naked on an altar surrounded by Satan-worshippers and is raped by the Devil himself. What could all of this mean? Why it’s yet another stylish but empty supernatural melodrama from the reigning king of Italian supernatural melodrama, Michael Soavi, this time aided by producer/co-writer Dario Argento. Good special effects and use of sound, but in the end The Church feels like just another Demons/Evil Dead clone. C

Please check Just Watch for current streaming info!