The Beast of Yucca Flats – 1961, US, 55m. Director: Coleman Francis.
Rat Man – 1988, Italy, 82m. Director: Giuliano Carnimeo.
The Return of the Exorcist – 1975, Italy, 89m. Director: Angelo Pannacciò, Luca Damiano.
THE BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS (1961) A Russian scientist (Tor Johnson) on the lam with Soviet secrets is chased into the Nevada desert, where radiation from atomic bomb testing turns him into a disfigured killer. This notorious B&W cheapie lives up to its reputation as one of the worst movies of all time. Its plotless story structure is further harmed by a meandering pace, little-to-no dialogue, and a hackneyed voiceover narration that sounds like it was taken from an Ed Wood flick—in fact, producer Anthony Cardoza was one of Wood’s collaborators on Night of the Ghouls (1959), which also stars Johnson. Watch only if you wish to know the true meaning of suffering. This was Johnson’s last screen appearance before his death in 1971. F
RAT MAN (1988) A demented science experiment produces a two-foot monstrosity (Nelson de la Rosa) that escapes its cage and begins murdering people on a Caribbean island. An American (Janet Agren) in town to find out what happened to her fashion model sister—all her model friends have been shredded by the rat man—seeks the help of a mystery writer (David Warbeck), who just happens to understand how the plots of low-budget Italian slashers work. The two sleuths, along with a boneheaded photographer and his model girlfriend, stumble upon the scientist’s jungle lair where, in a revolting scene, the rat creature eviscerates the doctor’s assistant and gnaws on the innards. Rat Man was made by people who’ve worked on several Lucio Fulci films, for which many viewers is a sign of quality. For others, it’s a good reason to skip this fruitless bloodbath that isn’t nearly as over-the-top as you’d expect. Pity. C
THE RETURN OF THE EXORCIST (1975) (AKA: Cries and Shadows) A nun goes to check on her younger brother and finds the lad tied to a bed, spouting obscenities with his head twisted backwards. Through flashbacks we learn the teen in question (Jean-Claude Verné) has become the victim of a succubus who captured his soul through a photograph. Taking the form of voluptuous redhead, the succubus (Mimma Monticelli)—in a surprisingly clever sequence—tricks Verné into cutting its throat with a knife, simultaneously slicing open Verné’s girlfriend’s jugular, miles away at a disco. The number of lesbian love scenes is quite high as Monticelli seduces the majority of the female cast, including Verné’s Ellen Burstyn-like mother. After the obligatory failed medical tests, an exorcist (Richard Conte) is called in to cast the horny demon out once and for all. The special FX are convincing and done with a fair amount of detail—those expecting Dick Smith-level facial deformities and pea soup vomit might be disappointed by the lack of gratuitous gore. What Return of the Exorcist does offer is better acting, direction, and writing than you’d expect from what is really just another Italian clone of The Exorcist. But, in terms of rip-offs, this is one of the better ones. B–