DEADLY BLESSING (1981) Wes Craven’s theatrical follow-up toThe Hills Have Eyes plays like an Amish version of The Omen. Battlestar Galactica‘s Maren Jensen is a widow who believes the religious farming community that neighbors her property is responsible for the death of her husband (Douglas Barr). The community, known as “Hittites,” is ruled under a strict thumb by the sinister Isaiah (Ernest Borgnine), who was not only Barr’s father but who also outcast his son for fraternizing with the outside world. A slow-witted Hittite is stabbed to death by a cloaked killer while spying on Jensen in the buff—his body is later found hanging in the barn. Jensen’s friend (Sharon Stone) is attacked by spiders. A snake slithers into Jensen’s bath in a very provocative moment Craven would repeat in A Nightmare on Elm Street. Deadly Blessing features the typical early eighties accoutrement (nudity and violence) found in slasher horror, but it also has its share of suspense, surprises, and characters worth caring about—making it a worthy entry in the Craven cannon.
EMBRACE OF THE VAMPIRE (1995) A love-starved woodsman (Martin Kemp) is bitten by a trio of horny vampirettes and is transformed into a horny creature of the night. Centuries later, Kemp becomes smitten with a horny college virgin (Alyssa Milano) who’s sworn off men until she meets Mr. Right. Kemp struts through the night wearing tacky opened shirts and speaking in verse, while Milano scurries to her college courses in see-through blouses and chatting with her horny girlfriends about sex. It isn’t long until Kemp uses his vampire powers to hypnotize Milano by turning her into a sex kitten—and the two realize they were just made for each other. In between vampiric sex dreams, Milano strings along her horny boyfriend (Harold Pruett), has a lesbian encounter with a photographer, and turns into a general douchebag. Love ultimately wins as the vampire is vanquished, and Milano, having discovered her sexual awakening, screws Pruett in the anti-climax. In the end (which doesn’t come fast enough), Embrace of the Vampire seems to exist solely to get Milano to remove her clothes—and to remind audiences just what a mundane actor The Krays‘s Kemp is.
THE KINDRED (1987) A dying scientist’s (Kim Hunter) deathbed confession reveals that her life’s work resulted in a test tube baby named Anthony. In an attempt to understand her work, Hunter’s geneticist son (David Allen Brooks) and colleagues raid his mother’s home and discover Anthony is a pissed-off tentacled beastie living in the basement. The monster’s bloody activities are covered up by an evil seductress (Amanda Pays) working for a mad doctor (Rod Steiger) who wants Anthony for his collection of genetically modified creations. The plot is unnecessarily complicated for what’s really just a mid-budget monster movie, but an undoubtedly impressive one at that. The Kindred‘s good cast helps to keep the story moving, but it’s the film’s spectacular makeup effects that are the real star—and they don’t disappoint, especially during the goo-filled climax.
