BLIND DATE (1984) An American nomad (Joseph Bottoms) working in Greece goes inexplicably blind after spying on his ex-girlfriend—how’s that for a metaphor!—which subsequently grants him the ability to “see” murders committed by a serial killer through an experimental computer apparatus. When Bottoms becomes the killer’s next target—how’s that for plot convenience!—he must find a way to stop the maniac before his new belle (Kirstie Alley) ends up on the slab. A thoroughly idiotic film, Blind Date‘s plot is also a highly preposterous one, the screenplay polluted with tedious characters and hackneyed situations that never amount to anything other than meaningless filler. We’re also expected to sympathize with Bottoms despite the fact that he’s a self-centered jerk who, in the movie’s worst scene, breaks into his ex’s apartment to watch her sleep. A depressingly bad film that doesn’t have a single genuine moment in its 106 minutes.
BLOOD HARVEST (1987) ’60s ukulele phenom Tiny Tim stars in this corn-fed splatter pic from Bill Rebane, director of low-budget fair The Demons of Ludlow (1983) and Rana: The Legend of Shadow Lake (1980). Tim is—for the lack of a better word—perfectly cast as maladjusted Merv, who transforms into The Marvelous Mervo, a demented split personality in clown makeup triggered by his parents’ joint suicide. Mervo becomes the main suspect in a series of murders of persons connected to the foreclosure of his farm, but he’s really just a patsy for his even crazier, bloodthirsty brother, Gary (Dean West). In keeping with Blood Harvest‘s country bumpkin vibe, Gary strings up his victims in the family barn and bleeds them like pigs, with a slice to the throat. Blood Harvest isn’t the smartest slasher ever made, but it’s got character development, a fairly complex plot, and a satisfying ending.
GRIM PRAIRIE TALES (1990) An interesting spin on the anthology/Western movie featuring two strangers (Brad Dourif and James Earl Jones) who cross paths while traveling the Wild West and pass the time by telling four chilling stories. An old fart is buried alive after disrespecting a Native American burial ground. A wanderer is seduced by a demon in the guise of a pregnant woman. Racism rears its ugly head when a young girl discovers her penniless father receiving payments for participating in lynch mobs. In the final segment, a gunslinger comes back from the dead to haunt his killer. Grim Prairie Tales has a good cast and decent production values—it’s the feature film debut of future Spielberg cinematographer Janusz Kamiński—but its lack of originality and suspense are highly noticeable. It’s a good concept that wallows in a flat script that never wants to have fun with its ideas.
