Matt’s Horror Addiction

The Beyond – 1981, Italy, 87m. Director: Lucio Fulci.

Forever Evil – 1987, US, 107m. Director: Roger Evans.

Nightmare Sisters – 1988, US, 83m. Director: David DeCoteau.

THE BEYOND (1981) (AKA: 7 Doors of Death) Once again the dreaded gates to Hell have been opened and expelled the living dead in this companion piece to Lucio Fulci’s equally blood-strewn City of the Living Dead (1980). The revamping of a New Orleans hotel that, decades earlier, was the scene of a brutal murder spells doom for its new owner (Catriona MacColl) and anyone who comes into contact with the cursed building—including a hapless plumber who has his eyes gouged out by a demonic hand that emerges from behind a melting wall. The hotel’s blind gatekeeper tries to warn MacColl of the place’s hellish history but is dismissed and has her throat torn open by her own seeing eye dog. Eventually, in the movie’s super-splattery climax, a horde of zombies descends upon a hospital, where our protagonists are trapped. Narratively, The Beyond makes little sense and is often disjointed—although it works rather well in terms of the plot and immerses the viewer in a nightmarish, otherworldly atmosphere. But Fulci knows audiences come to a movie like The Beyond expecting a certain level of special effects, and the director doesn’t disappoint, offering, on more than one occasion, his trademark popped-eyeball gag. It’s not a perfect movie in any way, but as a genuine work of horror filmmaking, The Beyond excels. B+

FOREVER EVIL (1987) Forever Evil is an interesting concept trapped in a listless production. Friends gathered at a woodsy lake house are butchered by supernatural boogeymen, one of which looks like a zombie leftover from Romero’s Day of the Dead. The only survivor of the massacre is enlisted by a woman with similar experiences to help figure out who or what is responsible for the murders. Why it takes nearly an hour to get down to brass tacks—the events are emanating from a creature of pre-history called Yog Kothag, which the filmmakers keep off screen—is just one of many frustrating elements of the screenplay, which despite touching on some Lovecraftian topics can’t distinguish itself from being just another Evil Dead rip-off. A missed opportunity which, if edited down from its lengthy 107-minutes, could have made for a passable time-waster—but as is, it’s just a waste of time. D+

NIGHTMARE SISTERS (1988) Three mousy sorority sisters are turned into sexed-up succubi after performing a séance with a cursed crystal ball. The women are portrayed by ‘80s scream queens Linnea Quigley, Brinke Stevens, and Michelle Bauer, so the movie’s predominately silly premise works, thanks to the actress’ comedic chemistry. Once the ladies are changed into nymphos, the plot consists of the busty trio seducing (usually topless) their male cohorts into bed and sucking out their souls by feeding off their tallywackers. No, seriously. The evil—looking and sounding like a Deadite leftover from Evil Dead II—is eventually expelled from the women by a bargain basement exorcist and, to the delight of the remaining virginal frat brothers, they still retain their magical bustlines. If anything, Nightmare Sisters offers a harmless, albeit moronic, viewing experience for the ‘80s nostalgia connoisseur. C+

The Beast of Yucca Flats – 1961, US, 55m. Director: Coleman Francis.

Rat Man – 1988, Italy, 82m. Director: Giuliano Carnimeo.

The Return of the Exorcist – 1975, Italy, 89m. Director: Angelo Pannacciò, Luca Damiano.

THE BEAST OF YUCCA FLATS (1961) A Russian scientist (Tor Johnson) on the lam with Soviet secrets is chased into the Nevada desert, where radiation from atomic bomb testing turns him into a disfigured killer. This notorious B&W cheapie lives up to its reputation as one of the worst movies of all time. Its plotless story structure is further harmed by a meandering pace, little-to-no dialogue, and a hackneyed voiceover narration that sounds like it was taken from an Ed Wood flick—in fact, producer Anthony Cardoza was one of Wood’s collaborators on Night of the Ghouls (1959), which also stars Johnson. Watch only if you wish to know the true meaning of suffering. This was Johnson’s last screen appearance before his death in 1971. F

RAT MAN (1988) A demented science experiment produces a two-foot monstrosity (Nelson de la Rosa) that escapes its cage and begins murdering people on a Caribbean island. An American (Janet Agren) in town to find out what happened to her fashion model sister—all her model friends have been shredded by the rat man—seeks the help of a mystery writer (David Warbeck), who just happens to understand how the plots of low-budget Italian slashers work. The two sleuths, along with a boneheaded photographer and his model girlfriend, stumble upon the scientist’s jungle lair where, in a revolting scene, the rat creature eviscerates the doctor’s assistant and gnaws on the innards. Rat Man was made by people who’ve worked on several Lucio Fulci films, for which many viewers is a sign of quality. For others, it’s a good reason to skip this fruitless bloodbath that isn’t nearly as over-the-top as you’d expect. Pity. C

THE RETURN OF THE EXORCIST (1975) (AKA: Cries and Shadows) A nun goes to check on her younger brother and finds the lad tied to a bed, spouting obscenities with his head twisted backwards. Through flashbacks we learn the teen in question (Jean-Claude Verné) has become the victim of a succubus who captured his soul through a photograph. Taking the form of voluptuous redhead, the succubus (Mimma Monticelli)—in a surprisingly clever sequence—tricks Verné into cutting its throat with a knife, simultaneously slicing open Verné’s girlfriend’s jugular, miles away at a disco. The number of lesbian love scenes is quite high as Monticelli seduces the majority of the female cast, including Verné’s Ellen Burstyn-like mother. After the obligatory failed medical tests, an exorcist (Richard Conte) is called in to cast the horny demon out once and for all. The special FX are convincing and done with a fair amount of detail—those expecting Dick Smith-level facial deformities and pea soup vomit might be disappointed by the lack of gratuitous gore. What Return of the Exorcist does offer is better acting, direction, and writing than you’d expect from what is really just another Italian clone of The Exorcist. But, in terms of rip-offs, this is one of the better ones. B–

The Ghost Dance – 1982, US, 96m. Director: Peter F. Buffa.

Just Before Dawn – 1981, US, 91m. Director: Jeff Lieberman.

The Slasher… is the Sex Maniac! – 1972, Italy, 88m. Director: Roberto Bianchi Montero.

THE GHOST DANCE (1982) An archeological dig on Native American land releases a malevolent spirit that possesses a local man (Henry Bal) and turns him into a bloodthirsty killer. Bal cuts his wife’s throat before turning into a Rottweiler and tearing his neighbor to pieces. More murders threaten to shut down the excavation, which is overseen by anthropology professor (and Judith Light lookalike) Julie Amato, whose close attachment to the project makes her the perfect puppet for Bal’s mind games. Bal takes the form of a cat and sneaks into Amato’s home to watch her disrobe. Amato’s colleague (James Andronica) figures out what’s going on and is stabbed in the back (literally) by Bal before he can warn others. Amato’s boyfriend (Victor Mohica) seeks help from a medicine man/exorcist whose past experiences makes him the perfect candidate to ward off the evil entity. The Ghost Dance might lack substance but the filmmakers put more thought and characterization into the screenplay than you’d expect from a slasher vehicle. In fact, up until the predictable ending, The Ghost Dance is fairly taught stuff with good acting and clever makeup work. B

JUST BEFORE DAWN (1981) Backpackers venturing into deep Oregon wilderness are stalked by a machete-wielding madman and his equally demented twin brother. The friends turn a blind eye to hostile locals and signs of impending danger and—like the pompous city folk of Deliverance—move forward with their camping until they suffer a fate worse than death. The massacre begins with a hunter getting impaled through the crotch (in an especially gruesome moment, the serrated blade comes out the poor guy’s rear end). One of the newcomers is stabbed in the gut and left to bleed out while his friend is descended upon by the psychotic brothers in an intense scene. A mountain girl tries to help the remaining characters by flagging down a forest ranger (George Kennedy), but it’s the mild-mannered camper (Deborah Benson) who, in the midst of terror, transforms into a fighter and takes matters into her own hands, literally. Just Before Dawn contains the normal amount of stalk-n-slash cliches, but it’s too effectively made to write off as just another Friday the 13th clone. In terms of tone and atmosphere, the film actually has more in common with The Hills Have Eyes, and builds to a genuinely unsettling ending. Foreign prints run 102 minutes. B

THE SLASHER… IS THE SEX MANIAC (1972) (AKA: Penetration; The Slasher; So Sweet, So Dead) Unfaithful housewives are turning up maimed by a serial killer who leaves behind photos of the deceased having sex with their lovers. Detective Farley Granger refers to the victims as “whores” and immediately becomes Prime Suspect No. 1, as well as losing sympathy votes with the audience. Several married women discuss the crimes while lounging nude at a day spa. In one of the most obvious red herring subplots of all time, Granger discovers the local coroner is a weirdo who takes pictures of his female clientele. Granger’s professor friend (Chris Avram) suggests the killer is either homosexual or impotent, but taking anything seriously in this incredulous movie would be a mistake. In a completely tasteless move, Granger allows the maniac to carve up his cheating wife before unmasking the killer and shooting him dead. Whatta hero! An uninspired Italian slasher that reeks of misogyny. Graphic scenes involving porn king Harry Reems were apparently inserted into the American release, but I doubt even hardcore nudity could liven up this dead turkey. D

Evils of the Night – 1985, US, 85m. Director: Mardi Rustam.

Memorial Valley Massacre – 1988, US, 92m. Director: Robert Hughes.

Tales from the Darkside: The Movie – 1990, US, 93m. Director: John Harrison.

EVILS OF THE NIGHT (1985) Aliens that look suspiciously like 1960s bombshells Julie Newmar (Catwoman in the Batman TV series) and Tina Louise (Ginger from Gilligan’s Island) subject teens to medical tests before draining their blood as a food source. The otherworldly beings bamboozle a couple of bumpkins (Neville Brand and Aldo Ray) into kidnapping their victims from a local swimming hole crawling with half-naked babes and horny jocks. Clad in Lycra miniskirts, the aliens and their busty minions use a hospital to cover up their devious actions, which conveniently saves the filmmakers from spending money on building a spaceship (judging from the production, the budget was probably around the same as an Al Adamson film). Several teenagers are kept in the basement of an auto repair shop and tormented by Brand, who skewers a blonde with a power drill when she tries to escape. The aliens ultimately fail at their experiments, with Louise melting into a puddle of green liquid before head alien scientist John Carradine flies back into outer space. Evils of the Night is cheap and unconvincing within the context of sci-fi/horror. The acting is ludicrous and the special effects are barely noticeable. It is, however, unabashedly entertaining in a train wreck way, with Ray in howlingly awful form. Worth watching for the bad movie lover. Ed Wood would be proud! B–

MEMORIAL VALLEY MASSACRE (1988) (AKA: Memorial Day) The grand opening of the Memorial Valley campground is hijacked by a bucktoothed halfwit who takes a disliking to the abundance of annoying vacationers who’ve invaded his territory. Since the majority of the characters are cretins, douchebags, and tools, the viewer will cheer for the bloody antics of the killer (Mark Caso) who, decked out in a dime store caveman getup, whittles down the camp’s population with axes, spears, and crude booby traps. The most irritating of the lot is an overweight brat who’s beaten with a log and his body dumped in a trash heap. A war vet and his bimbo wife are blown to bits in their RV after Caso ruptures the gas line. The kills are often elaborate and well-executed but the film itself is too flat to muster any excitement over. The same can be said about the screenplay, which spends too much time on a boring squabble between head ranger John Karry and the camp owner’s son (Mark Mears). That subplot goes nowhere, much like this incessantly moronic film. D

TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE: THE MOVIE (1990) Big screen adaptation of the syndicated anthology television series created by George A. Romero, who in bitter irony wrote the weakest of the three stories featured in the movie. The first (and best) tale is written by Michael McDowell and based on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s short story about the resurrection of a 3,000 year old mummy used in a gruesome revenge plot. Romero’s take on a Stephen King tale results in the disappointing sophomore segment involving a hitman who meets his match in the form of a demonic cat. The final chapter livens things up with a terrific K.N.B. FX creature that comes to life after a lovelorn artist fails to keep a secret. Tales from the Darkside might not be on the same level as other anthology titles (namely Creepshow) but it’s entertaining, well paced, and a spotlight for a plethora of talented actors, including Steve Buscemi, Julianne Moore, James Remar, Rae Dawn Chong, and in the film’s wraparound, rocker Debbie Harry as a suburban cannibal. Flawed but fun. B

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Bloodmoon – 1990, Australia, 100m. Director: Alec Mills.

Nightwing – 1979, US, 104m. Director: Arthur Hill.

Return of the Living Dead Part II – 1988, US, 89m. Director: Ken Wiederhorn.

BLOODMOON (1990) Posh St. Elizabeth’s School for Girls becomes the stomping ground for a savage killer in this Prom Night/Final Exam/House on Sorority Row clone made in Australia. The maniac’s choice of weapon is a piece of barbed wire he uses to garrote his victims before gouging their eyes out and cutting off their fingers—he later conceals the bodies in soil as to not bring attention to his crimes. The woodsy location gives the killer the perfect opportunity to sneak up on the multitude of students having sex, and supplying viewers with copious amounts of bared breasts. The film’s whodunit angle is dropped halfway through when it’s revealed the murderer is a nebbish cuckold who’s set off by the sight of embracing lovers. After a good start, the movie descends into tedious melodrama involving bland characters and uninteresting situations that are exacerbated by a needlessly long 100-minute runtime. If anything, Bloodmoon is an example of a subgenre well past its prime. C

NIGHTWING (1979) A small Indian reservation in New Mexico is bombarded by vampire bats as the result of a Native American curse. The surrounding lands are at first affected by a series of animal mutilations that bewilder the locals, that is until the sheriff’s (Nick Mancuso) adoptive father—the High Priest who cursed the land—is killed the same way. A scientist (David Warner) tries to warn authorities of the impending bat threat but his words fall on deaf ears. The hotshot tribal councilman (Stephen Macht) who wishes to sell the land to an oil company wants to keep the bat attacks under wraps, especially when Warner discovers the bats are carrying a strain of bubonic plague. Nightwing is based on a book, but the film is modeled after Spielberg’s Jaws—there’s even a climactic sequence where Mancuso’s law officer and Warner’s bat expert team up in an effort to destroy the winged menace. This would work if Nightwing stuck to its when-animals-attack principles, but instead the screenplay wallows in Native American folklore and Mancuso’s disillusioned cop to the point the viewer loses interest long before the fiery ending. C

RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD PART II (1988) More zombie shenanigans as another canister of weaponized gas is unleashed onto an unsuspecting populace. This time the toxin is released by a trio of middle schoolers who spread the contagion to their quiet suburban neighborhood by turning the place into a zombie jamboree. The decision to front-load Part 2 with heavy amounts of slapstick might have been due to the recent popularity in more kid-friendly fair like The Naked Gun. This would also explain making an eleven-year-old comic book nerd (Michael Kenworthy) the hero. So memorable in the earlier movie, both James Karen and Thom Mathews return but play completely different characters, showing what little thought went into what is essentially just a retread of the first film. Director/writer Ken Wiederhorn previously helmed the atmospheric chiller Shock Waves (1977). C

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Autopsy – 1975, Italy, 100m. Director: Armando Crispino.

Opera – 1987, Italy, 107m. Director: Dario Argento.

The Prowler – 1981, US, 89m. Director: Joseph Zito.

AUTOPSY (1975) (AKA: The Victim) A heatwave coincides with a series of suicides in Rome. A woman slashes her wrist with a razor, while a man sets himself on fire inside his car. Another man machine guns himself in the chest while his two children lay dying beside him. Nervous medical student Mimsy Farmer, who has the personality of a tick, investigates the recent string of deaths when her pretty neighbor turns up on the slab with a self-inflicted bullet to the head. Farmer is joined by the victim’s boorish brother (Barry Primus) who believes Farmer’s real estate mogul father had something to do with his sister’s demise. There’s a suggestion that solar flares are responsible for the mysterious deaths, but the screenplay shifts to a boring subplot involving a murder cover-up. Stiff and overlong, and Farmer is massively unappealing as the protagonist. D

OPERA (1987) (AKA: Terror at the Opera) A young opera singer (Cristina Marsillach) is terrorized by a demented fiend in this twisted take on the Phantom of the Opera scenario—as only Dario Argento could tell it. The night Marsillach makes her debut in Verdi’s Macbeth brings joy and terror after a stagehand is impaled in the head by a mad slasher who later kidnaps the singer and forces her to watch him murder her lover by taping needles under her eyelids. In a particularly gruesome detail, the killer’s blade slices into the man’s jaw and protrudes through the inside of his mouth. The next victim gets her throat cut open after accidentally swallowing a piece of evidence that belongs to the maniac. Most of the bloodshed is accompanied by a heavy metal soundtrack, although the best scene is done in slow motion as the bullet from a fired gun travels through a peephole and through the head of Marsillach’s agent (Daria Nicolodi). Other visual trickery includes close-ups of a pulsating brain, signifying the killer’s proximity to Marsillach. As with the majority of films in the Argento canon, character and plot aren’t as important as style, in which case Opera delivers. A good example is the discovery of the killer’s identity through the use of the opera’s live ravens, who earlier attacked the madman after he killed several of the birds. The overblown ending doesn’t do much other than prove to the viewer that the film should have ended ten minutes earlier. B–

THE PROWLER (1981) The return of Avalon Bay’s graduation dance 35 years after an unsolved double murder ignites a new series of slaying by someone in army fatigues. The film wastes little time in getting to the red stuff, which is dumped out by the gallon. A man getting ready for the dance is skewered through the head with a bayonet, after which his girlfriend is impaled with a pitchfork in the shower. The police check on an invalid in a wheelchair who lives next to the girls’ dormitory and discover the missing old man was the father of one of the victims from 1944. The prowler sneaks past the cops and slices open the class bimbo’s throat in the swimming pool—as her body sinks below the water, air bubbles escape from the open wound, giving the scene a chillingly realistic touch. The rest of The Prowler is standard slasher fair done with a level of professionalism many other slashers of the time lacked, including good acting and a few suspenseful set pieces. Tom Savini’s special effects are top-notch and Joseph Zito’s direction polished. B

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The Black Cat – 1981, Italy, 91m. Director: Lucio Fulci.

The Boy Who Cried Werewolf – 1973, US, 93m. Director: Nathan Juran.

Student Bodies – 1981, US, 86m. Director: Mickey Rose, Michael Ritchie.

THE BLACK CAT (1981) A man, seemingly hypnotized by a black cat, drives his car off the road and smashes through the windshield, killing himself. This violent pre-credits sequence is suspenseful and well executed. Unfortunately, it also happens to be one of the few exciting moments in an otherwise mediocre supernatural thriller from Italy’s reigning king of spaghetti splatter, Lucio Fulci. Although the film is based on the Edgar Allan Poe short story, the plot has very little to do with its source material. The movie—as far as I can tell—is about a codger (Patrick Magee) who, through a psychic link, uses his cat as a conduit to manipulate the murders of those he feels wronged him at some point in his life. The British countryside and use of British actors doesn’t stop Fulci from bringing out his trademark zoom lens (which he uses on Magee by repeatedly focusing on the man’s eyebrows) and on-screen carnage, the best instance being a woman’s demise by fire—her eyes manage to move as her face goes up in flames, giving the sequence a particularly unnerving touch. For Fulci aficionados only. C+

THE BOY WHO CRIED WEREWOLF (1973) A divorcee (Kerwin Mathews) and his young son (Scott Sealy) are attacked by a werewolf while on a camping trip. The wolf man dies in the attack but Mathews is bitten and, come the next full moon, transforms into a fanged beast. Sealy’s excitement over his father’s battle with a werewolf takes control of him but troubles others, who write the boy off as having an overactive imagination. Mathews goes on a bloody bender the first night out in hairy form, causing a traffic accident and tearing a TV repairman to pieces. Since this is a post-modern werewolf movie we get the obligatory scenes of Mathews arguing with his ex-wife (Elaine Devry) and encounters with a hippie commune that’s an updated version of the gypsies from the old B&W monster movies that supplies characters (and audiences) with answers to the metaphysical questions. Goofy werewolf makeup and too many day-for-night shots give them film a slightly campy vibe, but this is still a harmlessly enjoyable film if seen in the right light. C+

STUDENT BODIES (1981) A stupid but enjoyable parody of slasher movies that laid the ground work for slapstick horror comedies like Scary Movie. Opening on the “holiday” of Jamie Lee Curtis’s Birthday, the film goes right into a send-up of Halloween and When a Stranger Calls as a dimwitted babysitter is tormented by the Breather, a killer who’s knocking off the local sexed-up teens with paper clips, egg plants, bookends, or whatever item is lying around. The plot is strictly boilerplate but makes way for the nonstop sight gags and jokes that arrive with such a quick pace that you might miss a punchline if you’re not paying attention. If you spliced together Prom Night with Airplane! you’ll get the general idea. Not all of the jokes work, but the majority of them are quite funny and the script is smart enough to take the cliches of slashers past and use them to its advantage. While not as outrageous as Kentucky Fried Movie, Student Bodies is an improvement over Saturday the 14th. B–

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