PARENTS (1989) Committing to neither the horror nor comedy aspects of horror-comedy, Parents is a curious movie that skates the border of its genres by being consistently weird. In the 1950s, a morose kid, Michael (Bryan Madorsky), moves into a cheery suburban home with his aggressively oddball parents, Nick (Randy Quaid) and Lily (Mary Beth Hurt), both of whom are large consumers of meat. When Michael witnesses his parents performing a bizarre ritual involving blood, he comes to believe they’re cannibalistic killers. An unfocused satire on suburban Americana that never rises to the occasion, Parents feels sedate from beginning to end, with a particularly emotionless performance by Madorsky that makes the viewer not care what happens to him. Quaid and Hurt are good, as is Sandy Dennis as a school social worker who, in the film’s only energetic scene, is attacked with a knife while locked in Lily’s pantry. Better written characters and some actual suspense (or laughs) might have made this a winner. It’s not. C–
PUPPET MASTER (1989) One of the first of the Child’s Play clones, this expensive-looking production is easy on the eyes but it’s unfortunately saddled with an unnecessarily complicated plot. Four psychics are summoned to a cliffside hotel in California where they discover their friend, Neil (Jimmie F. Skaggs), has killed himself. While the psychics try to figure out what’s going on, they’re attacked by a horde of murderous puppets that were secreted away decades earlier, when their maker (William Hickey) committed suicide to avoid capture by the Nazis. The puppet FX are good and fun to watch whenever they’re on screen, but weak acting and uninteresting characters make the first half of the movie drag considerably. Thankfully, the last 30 minutes come alive as the demented puppets pick off the boneheaded cast—most memorably a man (Matt Roe) tied to a bedpost who’s forced to watch the Leech Woman puppet vomit a load of bloodsuckers onto his chest. Followed by several sequels. C+
RABID GRANNIES (1988) This bait-and-switcher was marketed as a Troma-released, American-style horror-comedy—but it’s actually a surreal French film resembling the early movies of Peter Jackson by way of Jean-Pierre Jeunet (Amélie). Two wealthy, elderly sisters are cursed by a witchcraft-practicing family member and turned into deformed, monster-like killers who go about terrorizing the rest of their family during a birthday party at their large country estate. There’s some truly unique and disturbing elements to the story, including a scene were a mother stumbles upon her child being eaten alive by the grannies. Unfortunately, the film is quite dull whenever the grannies aren’t on screen. We’re mostly forced to watch bad overacting (and dubbing) from uninteresting characters—one who looks exactly like Mr. Creosote from Monty Python’s Meaning of Life!—and incessantly bad comedy. Good makeup FX, but Rabid Grannies should be put down. D+
RAWHEAD REX (1986) Removing a large stone from his field proves dire for a farmer and the surrounding Irish village when the act awakens a demonic creature from its ancient slumber. Known as Rawhead, the carnivorous beast (Heinrich von Schellendorf) goes on a rampage, tearing off human limbs and feasting on the remains—and even possessing people to do its bidding—until an American historian (David Dukes) doing research on the local church discovers the truth and tries to stop it. Adapted by Clive Barker from one of his short stories, Rawhead Rex is a fun monster flick with a good amount of energy and some nifty makeup FX and sequences—the caravan carnage scene is a highlight. A lack of interesting characters—protagonist Dukes is unlikable—and weak acting hinders the story of some suspense, but that’s a small price to pay. Be sure to stick around for the bonkers climax. B