Blood Hook – 1987, US, 92m, 111m (extended cut). Director: Jim Mallon. Streaming: Tubi
Curse of the Blue Lights – 1988, US, 93m. Director: John Henry Johnson. Streaming: N/A
Horror House on Highway Five – 1985, US, 88m. Director: Richard Casey. Streaming: N/A
Slaughterhouse Rock – 1988, US, 85m. Director: Dimitri Logothetis. Streaming: AMC/Prime, Shudder, Tubi
BLOOD HOOK (1987) A sprightly, slightly juvenile slasher-comedy about a group of twenty-somethings spending the weekend at their yuppie friend’s (Mark Jacobs) family lake house who end up fighting for their lives against someone killing the locals by dragging them into the water with a fishing hook. The obvious culprit is a muttering, Crazy Ralph-like coot, but the actual killer is the seemingly-friendly bait shop owner (Don Winters) who’s grinding the victims into pieces and selling the remains as fishing bait. A Troma splatter-romp filmed in Wisconsin—with some actual laughs and a cast of likable characters—this was originally given an X rating and shorn of nearly 20 minutes of footage when released theatrically. I seriously doubt the movie loses any character development or plot points in those precious extra minutes, but for what it is, Blood Hook is harmless, yet overlong at any length. C+
CURSE OF THE BLUE LIGHTS (1988) This regional creature feature might be subpar in the acting and photography department, but it thrives on unbridled imagination and impressive low-budget make-up FX. A group of teens looking for a little excitement in their quiet, cornfield-lined town drive to an isolated piece of land called the Blue Lights to party and have sex—but end up getting caught in a centuries-old plan by a monstrous warlock (Brent Ritter) to resurrect the Muldoon Man, a legendary, all-powerful being that once ruled the primeval world. A curious movie, Curse has the feel of a backyard, family-made flick, but is handled with so much care and attention to detail it’s surprising this hasn’t attained a cult following. The pacing wanes here and there, but everything about the movie is so impressive it’s difficult not to enjoy it all. A little movie with big aspirations, this is recommended to anyone who found Spookies to be their cup of tea. Funny bit: a license plate that reads, “IM2CUL.” B
HORROR HOUSE ON HIGHWAY FIVE (1985) A hodgepodge of slasher movie clichés, bizarre comedy, and incoherent storytelling, this bargain-basement oddity feels like the bastard child of John Waters and Herschell Gordon Lewis—on acid. College students assigned to do a study on a Nazi serial killer(!) get stranded in the middle of nowhere and are terrorized by a couple of demented brothers whose father just happens to be the Nazi in question. And that’s about as logical as I can make this movie sound. Thrown into the confusing brew are actors flubbing their lines, slap-happy, cartoonish fist fights, a man who falls face-first onto the spikes of a garden rake, and for those who like their pot of crazy fully stirred, a killer in a Richard Nixon mask. The debut feature film of music video director Richard Casey. Stick with your day job, Richard. D
SLAUGHTERHOUSE ROCK (1988) College student Alex (Nicholas Celozzi) is plagued by nightmares about a demonic figure killing people in a dungeon-like setting. When Alex’s dreams begin to spill over into reality, his friends and a teacher—who just happens to be an occultist!—discover it might have something to do with a former Alcatraz prisoner/serial killer. Thinking it might break Alex’s curse, they travel to the island, where Alex is confronted by the ghost of a dead rocker (Toni Basil) whose suicide summoned forth Alex’s dream demon—which winds up possessing Alex’s brother (Tom Reilly), turning him into a yellow-eyed monster. The script never bothers to explain how these one-dimensional characters come to the conclusion Alex’s nightmares are coming from Alcatraz—one of many plot inconsistencies. It just reeks of a way to satisfy the producers’ appetites for the jailhouse-set slashers that were popular at the time. There are a couple of good FX sequences, but they’re not enough to recommend this soulless Nightmare on Elm Street rip-off. C–