Alligator – 1980, US, 91m. Director: Lewis Teague. Streaming: AMC, Roku Channel, Shudder
Alligator II: The Mutation – 1991, US, 94m. Director: Jon Hess. Streaming: AMC, Roku Channel, Shudder
Crocodile – 1979, South Korea/Thailand, 92m. Director: Sompote Sands. Streaming: N/A
Killer Crocodile – 1989, Italy, 90m. Director: Fabrizio De Angelis. Streaming: Roku Channel, Tubi
The Last Shark – 1981, Italy/US, 87m. Director: Enzo G. Castellari. Streaming: Tubi
ALLIGATOR (1980) A little girl buys a pet alligator while on vacation in Florida—this is after she witnesses the vicious attack by a grown gator on its trainer!—and names it Ramon. Her mean dad flushes the baby gator down the toilet, and twelve years later (and a steady diet of hormone-experimented dog carcasses) turns Ramon into a 35-foot monster. Good news is Ramon’s former owner is now a herpetologist (Robin Riker) who’s called in to help a cop (Robert Forster) when chewed off body parts start showing up in the water treatment plant. Like Piranha, Alligator is more of a horror-satire than a straight-up Jaws clone, although it has its fair share of scares, including a terrific reveal of the enormous reptile during a routine sweep of the sewer by Forster and company. The script (co-written by The Howling‘s John Sayles) is witty, and the characters are smart and sympathetic, including Forster’s detective, who’s very sensitive about his male pattern baldness. Funny, gory, and suspenseful, Alligator is not to be missed. B+
ALLIGATOR II: THE MUTATION (1991) Straight-forward direct-to-video sequel lacks much of what made the first Alligator work. When body parts start surfacing at a lake adjacent to an upcoming multi-million dollar housing development operated by slimeball real estate mogul Vinnie Brown (Steve Railsback), cop Hodges (Joseph Bologna) and his scientist wife (Dee Wallace Stone) think it’s the work of a large gator. Of course no one believe’s Hodges’s alligator theory, especially the mayor (Bill Daily), who’s in Vinnie’s pocket and refuses to delay an upcoming waterfront carnival. Guess what crashes the event? Basically a loose remake of the first movie, Alligator II‘s differences in plot are so minuscule that by a certain point you’ll throw your hands in the air and try to enjoy the film for what it is—but there isn’t much to recommend. There are some juicy alligator attacks, but too many close-ups of the gator reveal its cut-rate FX work. The humor from Alligator is sorely missed, and one can’t help but feel the good cast is wasted on bland material, although veteran ’80s actor Richard Lynch adds some color to the script as a Quint-like gator hunter. The climactic attack is a rip-off of the much superior Humanoids from the Deep. Look for Jason Voorhees himself, Kane Hodder, as one of Lynch’s stooges. C
CROCODILE (1979) In the post-Jaws nature-gone-amok sub-school of movies, Crocodile ranks at the very bottom of the barrel. Two overworked colleagues take their families on vacation to a resort on the Gulf of Thailand, only to have several family members eaten by a giant crocodile. The beast, which is the result of genetic mutation from nearby atomic bomb testing, continues to gobble up the locals (and wildlife) until the doctors hire a salty fisherman to destroy the animal. Tone-deaf and dull, Crocodile is made by people who thought audiences would be enthralled by never-ending close-ups of crocodile eyelids, atrocious editing, terrible acting, and a lot of scenes of people thrashing around in red-tinted water. The croc inexplicably changes size to appease the screenplay—the reptile is small enough to hide in shallow waters, but is big enough to take down entire villages with a swipe of its tail. There are a couple of gory moments of victims with chewed off limbs and a scene where the croc swallows a trio of skinny-dipping children (a bit that would never get passed by American censors). That’s not enough to compensate sitting through this incomprehensible dreck, which is actually a re-edited 1978 Korean production entitled Crocodile Fangs. Not to be confused with the Italian-made Killer Crocodile, which, compared to this, looks like Jaws. F
KILLER CROCODILE (1989) Fulvia Film, the Italian production company that gave us such classics as Escape from the Bronx and Zombie Holocaust, is responsible for this cardboard Jaws rip-off, which despite its low-tech awkwardness is quite fun. A small group of nature activists combing a large tropical riverbed for radioactive material comes face-to-face with a giant crocodile made unnaturally aggressive from toxic waste. The poisonous chemicals are the result of illegal dumping by a local company, who’s got the town’s bigwig judge in their pocket. When a little girl is almost eaten alive—her father is snatched up by the croc instead—salty game hunter Ennio Girolami is called into action to kill the reptile. The screenplay tries to update its nature-gone-crazy plot for the times by having the protagonists being more environmentally conscious and wanting to protect the crocodile in its natural habitat, but the characters are so idiotic (made worse by stiff acting and bad dubbing) you end up rooting for the croc. In a little bit of plot convenience, the judge and his cronies are devoured by the crocodile before the creature is blown to bits by activist Anthony Crenna. The plastic special effects and exaggerated action scenes lend the film a genuinely cheesy B-movie charm, and you find yourself in more ways than one enjoying it all. Filmed back-to-back with the inevitable Killer Crocodile 2. B–
THE LAST SHARK (1981) One of many Italian-financed, filmed-in-America shark epics churned out in the late ’70s/early ’80s, this amalgamation of Jaws and Jaws 2 is, despite its amateurishness, made by people who seem to respect the material they’re blatantly ripping off. Released in the States as Great White, this features a large shark terrorizing a coastal community. The first to get gobbled up is a windsurfer, who’s shot up into the air when the shark bumps the victim’s surfboard as if the guy was launched out of a cannon! This is followed by the surfacing of body parts, at which point local shark expert, Ron Hamer (Vic Morrow), calls concerns over the town’s upcoming regatta. Why do these plots always involve a regatta? Anyway, the town’s heavyweights (including a powerful politician running for state governor) veto Ron’s worries about more shark attacks and continue with the celebration. The town then sets up shark nets, which cage in beach swimmers from deep water threats—an idea that was originally pitched for Jaws 2, according to Jaws Unmade. It’s not long until the Great White chews its way through the net and turns the regatta into a smorgasbord of shark chum. Gee, do you think the bigwigs could use Ron’s expertise in shark hunting to kill the shark once and for all? Morrow does a Quint impersonation, but in a weird Scottish accent. James Franciscus is a mix of Brody and Hooper (and even Peter Benchley) as a local horror novelist who aids Ron in the destruction of the shark. All of this is stiff and unconvincing, and with a fake shark that looks like a swimming pool float. Universal successfully sued the filmmakers and got the movie removed from theaters, but not before it pulled in big box-office. There’s no accounting for taste. C–