Horror Castle – 1963, Italy, 84m. Director: Anthony Dawson (Antonio Margheriti). Streaming: YouTube
Junior – 1985, US, 82m. Director: Jim Hanley. Streaming: YouTube
The Orphan – 1979, US, 83m. Director: John Ballard. Streaming: YouTube
HORROR CASTLE (1963) (AKA: The Virgin of Nuremberg) A married couple, traveling to Germany, stay at the husband’s ancestral home, a massive castle with a grim past. On their first night there, the wife (Rossana Rodestà) discovers the mutilated body of a woman inside the place’s pristine 200-year-old iron maiden. When the body seemingly vanishes, the husband (George Rivière) dismisses his wife’s claims as the result of exhaustion—but the housekeeper (Laura Nucci) believes the spirit of an infamous hooded torturer/murderer has returned to continue his diabolical work. This is half-truth as a flesh-and-blood hooded menace is running around the property abducting women and subjecting them to grueling torture—one poor victim has her nose chewed off by a caged rat strapped to her face. An obvious precursor to the giallo, Horror Castle is just entertaining enough to get past its threadbare plot. A good cast (including Christopher Lee as the castle’s deformed red herring) and a genuinely suspenseful climax help to create a nice little Italian oddity. B
JUNIOR (1985) (AKA: Hot Water) Curvaceous ex-cons K.C. (Suzanne DeLaurentiis) and Jo (Linda Singer) seek out a fresh start in Texas—they’ve obviously never seen The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, Macon County Line, or many other Southern-fried horrors. Once they arrive in the boonies, K.C. and Jo set up shop in a dilapidated lake house only to be bombarded by a gaggle of hillbillies lead by the sociopathic Junior (Jeremy Ratchford). Junior spends his days raping, terrorizing, and engaging in general depravity, after which he runs home and brags about his exploits to his even more demented mother. After the requisite T&A shots and sex scenes, Junior’s rampage of terror turns to murder, sending K.C. and Jo into full I Spit On Your Grave mode. Junior is too goofy to be taken seriously, but that seems to be intentional; the film’s tacky appeal provides a likability factor that would pair it nicely alongside the similarly-themed and equally rambunctious ‘Gator Bait 2: Cajun Justice. If you like your roughneck revenge sagas with a side of cornball humor, you could do much worse than Junior. C+
THE ORPHAN (1979) (AKA: Friday the 13th: The Orphan) A young boy, David (Mark Owens), is left an orphan after his mother shoots and kills his father before committing suicide. David’s aunt (Peggy Feury) promptly moves into the family estate and begins running the show, keeping everything under her strict thumb and turning David into a sociopathic brat. When the aunt orders the destruction of David’s makeshift shrine (where he prays at the altar of a stuffed chimpanzee called Charlie) and accidentally kills his dog, David snaps and transforms into a bad seed—as if he wasn’t one already! A knife soon starts slashing and the bodies start piling up, with no mystery as to who is conducting the reign of terror. In the end, David brushes off the bloodshed and happily goes about eating his toast and jam in peace. The only thing viewers will get in return is an understanding of the word “suffering.” A ceaseless and bewildering bore. D–