Boardinghouse – 1982, US, 97m. Director: John Wintergate.
The Body Shop – 1972, US, 82m. Director: J.G. Patterson Jr.
Don’t Look in the Basement – 1973, US, 90m. Director: S.F. Brownrigg.
The Severed Arm – 1973, US, 91m. Director: Tom Alderman.
BOARDINGHOUSE (1982) Several bizarre deaths inside the infamous Hoffman homestead triggers a series of cold cases. Ten years later, a gold chain-wearing flake (Hawk Adly, a.k.a. director John Wintergate) buys the dwelling and turns it into a boarding house for Playboy model types. When Adly isn’t sleeping with his roommates he’s busy practicing transcendental meditation (and telekinesis!) in a pair of leopard print bikini briefs. But soon, unexplained accidents begin happening around the house. An ice pick levitates on its own and skewers one of the housemates in the hand. Another hallucinates blood dripping down the walls before she’s turned into some sort of cat creature. The boyfriend of one of the boarders is electrocuted in the bathtub and his body dragged off by a gloved individual who’s never seen again. There’s also a disabled Vietnam vet peeping through the windows, supplying the movie with even more gratuitous T&A shots and reminding the viewer of what the real objective of Boardinghouse is. Unfortunately, not even the frequent nudity will help those who choose to suffer through this interminable mess which, as of this writing, has inexplicably gained a cult following. Go figure. F (Currently not streaming.)
THE BODY SHOP (1972) (AKA: Doctor Gore) The sudden death of his wife turns Dr. Brandon, surgeon extraordinaire, into a modern day Dr. Frankenstein. The prominent doc (J.G. Patterson Jr.) murders young women and chops the bodies into pieces for spare parts so he can build the perfect mate. All of this bloodshed is aided by Brandon’s hunchback assistant (Roy Mehaffrey), who in the movie’s funniest scene is unable to put a lab coat on over his hump. “You have your own problems, don’t you?” answers the doctor. Another highlight features a victim waking up in the middle of having her hand amputated—she’s subsequently stabbed to death on the operating table. This is clearly a comedy. Not included in the severed limb jamboree is the obligatory search for a brain, but judging from Dr. Brandon’s tastes in pin-up bimbos he’s not interested in their minds. Considering the amount of kitsch found in The Body Shop, it’s not hard to believe Patterson Jr. stemmed from the world of Herschell Gordon Lewis, the cinematic inspiration behind this ceaselessly bizarre gore job filmed in North Carolina. C (Not currently streaming.)
DON’T LOOK IN THE BASEMENT (1973) (AKA: The Forgotten) Following a series of murders committed by two patients, Nurse Rosie Holotik is hired at a remote psychiatric institute. The deaths are brushed off by new head doctor Annabelle Weenick, who warns Holotik about the dangers of working in such a place. Holotik is undisturbed by these warnings and goes about her job like a professional. That is until a patient has her tongue cut out and the phone lines are sabotaged. A telephone repair man is sent to the clinic but ends up getting sexually assaulted by a strung-out nympho; he’s later found killed. The film then rips off the much better Asylum by revealing that Weenick is not actually a doctor but a patient, which “explains” her many nefarious deeds throughout the course of this extremely dull and predictable movie, which was shot on a shoestring outside of Waco, Texas. C– (Currently streaming on Prime.)
THE SEVERED ARM (1973) A spelunking accident spells disaster for six friends trapped in a cave. When starvation sets in, they make the decision to resort to cannibalism and forcibly cut off a friend’s arm for food. The armless victim (Ray Dannis) gets revenge after the party is rescued by hacking off the arm of one of the six (John Crawford). Two of the friends, one of whom is a cop, do their own investigation and, in a tasteless scene, manipulate Dannis’s daughter (Deborah Walley) into feeling sorry for Crawford’s poor health—despite the fact she went through the same turmoil with her father years earlier. But they don’t care because the majority of the characters in The Severed Arm are soulless jerks with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. So why should viewers care about anything that happens in this lifeless exercise in mundane storytelling? They shouldn’t. Talky and trite. D (Currently streaming on Tubi.)