By Frank Pittarese
The One with Fake Jason
What do you do when the lead character in your ongoing franchise is dead? Make another movie, regardless — with an imposter-killer — and hope for the best. That’s what happened here, except for that “best” part.
It’s been five years since Tommy Jarvis chopped Jason to death. The traumatized kid, now 17 years old, has spent that time in mental facilities, and we catch up to him as he’s being transferred to the Pinehurst Youth Development Center, a halfway house for troubled teens. Is Tommy ready to re-enter polite society? Oh, hell no. Exhibiting bouts of intense rage is the norm for this mostly silent and somewhat creepy Tommy — and rage isn’t a good look when Jason Voorhees is apparently back from the dead. Or does it only seem to be Jason?
When annoying Pinehurst resident Joey Burns is hacked to death by yet another troubled youth at the facility, it sparks a series of violent murders apparently committed by a dude in a hockey mask. It’s not quite Jason’s mask (which has red stripes vs. this one’s blue accents), but it’s close enough, right? And Tommy is crazy, right??
Every ten minutes, another half-baked, unlikable character gets offed, and while there’s a brief red herring in the form of drifter Raymond Joffroy, Tommy does indeed seem to be the culprit — until the final act. That’s when the young Jarvis arrives on the scene just as “Jason” is chasing Pinehurst’s assistant manager Pam and the ever-shrieking Reggie, grandson of the halfway house’s cook. If Scooby-Doo had a death-reveal it would play out like this, with fake-Jason impaled on the spikes of a tractor harrow, hockey mask asunder — as well as the Jason flesh mask he remarkably wore under it. The killer’s identity is identity revealed as Roy Burns, paramedic and vengeful father of the late, chocolate-stained Joey. And he would’ve gotten away with it, if not for that meddling Tommy Jarvis!
Tommy is innocent after all. At least until the last minute of the film where, recovering from his wounds at the hospital, he grabs a knife, dons Roy’s faux-Jason mask (both from his bedside table) and masked-up, prepares to murder Pam, essentially striking the same note as the end of the previous movie. “Tommy is the new Jason,” rinse, lather, repeat.
It was bound to happen. Welcome to the first stinker of the bunch. Jason is officially, biologically dead, so what do you do now? Easy. You hire a porn director (seriously that’s what they did), throw together a lazy script, and crank out a quick sequel which miraculously makes enough money that it doesn’t kill the series altogether (that said, the poor performance of this one negatively impacted its pretty terrific follow-up).
A pre-credit dream sequence — where Corey Feldman returns as young Tommy Jarvis for a scene foreshadowing the opening moments of the next movie — is fun, but as a Friday the 13th, it’s mostly downhill after that.
The problem lies with the characters, who are tied up in the knot of the premise. It’s a halfway house for socially dysfunctional kids — nobody likes each other, which makes nobody likable. The kids are antisocial nothings, which makes it more than easy to watch them die; it’s a blessing to be rid of ’em. But, on the plus side, there is Demon…
Demon, older brother of the aggressively annoying Reggie (a.k.a. “Reggie the Reckless”) is a leather-clad bad-boy and one of the few Black actors to wander through Crystal Lake (this movie does well in the diversity department, so points for that). In his brief time on screen, he’s engaging and funny to watch. He’s also another character who poops and dies with a dirty butt. Really, why is that a thing in this series??
Then there’s Ethel Hubbard and her son Junior, two filthy hillbillies (yep, hillbillies). When I first saw this movie, I hated them sooooo much! I don’t do well with comedic characters in my horror movies, and these two are living cartoons. But now I just want to give Ethel a big hug. She’s always pissed off and every sentence is peppered with one or two “fucks.” It’s a rare instance where a comic relief character helps the viewing experience.
Meanwhile, two leather-clad boys — looking like they fled a gay bar in 1958 — show up, talk to no one but each other, and make no difference to anything that happens aside from adding to the massive body count. As Alice said in the first movie, “WHAT is going on…???”
This Tommy recast (the first of two), as portrayed by John Shepard, barely speaks — but he does a good job of playing frantic, which is all that’s required. And with Tommy being 17, the timeline puts us in 1989 (which is four years into the future of this 1985 release).
The kills are quick and edited down to nothing — or they happen off-camera, thanks to the MPAA and a nationwide clutching of pearls. But hey, kids, there’s cocaine-usage and we get titties, so your mommas can sleep soundly at night!
Pam isn’t the worst final girl, but she’s as bland as Styrofoam and completely forgettable. Still, the big “Jason” chase is solid, except for Reggie’s endless screaming. Missed opportunity: stuffing Reggie in a meat grinder — I’d pay Broadway prices for that.
So is Tommy the new Jason? They try hard to make us think he is. But he isn’t. Jason is Roy. That is, until the end, when Jason is Tommy. Maybe. And if you interpret the final scene as a dream, which is entirely fair, it doesn’t matter. Ultimately, none of this matters. They drop the whole thing and never mention it again. The cliffhanger is never resolved (but I suspect Pam is fine; if it even happened, she probably just talked Tommy into putting down the knife). Fake-Jason/Roy Burns is never addressed again, either. In fact, this whole movie can be skipped because the 4th and 6th entries flow cleanly into each other. It’s worth seeing because it’s so bad — and it’s not the even the worst one!
Favorite moment: Every word out of Ethel’s mouth, you big dildo!
The One with Zombie Jason
Remember how the last movie ended? It doesn’t matter. After the disappointing mess of A New Beginning, the series bounces back in a big way — by almost completely ignoring the events of A New Beginning.
Tommy Jarvis has been institutionalized for years, and now he’s returned to Crystal Lake (renamed “Forest Green” after a million murders) to make sure that Jason is really, truly dead. So he digs up his grave and, through various hijinks involving a metal fence and lightning, succeeds in resurrecting Jason Voorhees. He even had the courtesy to bring along Jason’s hockey mask. Well done, Tom. The franchise thanks you, the fans thank you, and Zombie-Jason thanks you.
With Camp Forest Green, full of counselors and children, about to open, Jason has plenty of hapless victims to choose from, and for extra measure he offs some weekend warrior paintball players, two romantic couples, a cemetery caretaker, and a few police officers. Unfortunately, with Tommy being that notorious “crazy kid,” he quickly gets blamed for the murders by hot-headed Sheriff Garris. Before you know it, he’s in a jail cell. But thanks to Final Girl Megan, daughter of the sheriff, Tommy escapes to “permanently” defeat Jason by drowning him in Crystal Lake (or rather, Lake Forest Green), with a weighted chain around his neck. Sure…that’ll work.
This is one of the strongest entries in the series. It’s stylish, energetic, and full of intentional, sharp humor that actually lands. Thom Matthews is a bit stiff as Tommy, but he manages to pull off the character’s desperate innocence. It’s Jennifer Cooke (best known as the star-child in V: The Series) who really shines. Her smart and spunky Megan is second only to Part 2’s Ginny; few Friday final girls have this much inherent charm.
The story moves at a brisk pace. The over-the-top kills are quick and discreet (sometimes due to MPAA-related edits) but they don’t feel like cheats. Almost everything feels like its done with intent, so the result — while not as gory as expected — is effective. Most of the victims are likable and/or entertaining, which is a nice course-correct after the bitchy crew of Part V’s dumpster fire.
Continuity is fluid. You can choose to believe that Part V happened, or that this is a soft reboot that directly follows The Final Chapter. Both paths work, and a line of dialogue early on (“Seeing his corpse ain’t gonna stop the hallucinations.”) patches Part V’s ending and Pam’s attack…if you need it to. Either way, there’s another time-jump. Tommy now seems to be about 22 years old, putting these events even further in the future. This one takes place circa 1989 (in a 1986 theatrical release).
Jason is buried in the Eternal Peace Cemetery, a lovely piece of real estate compared to Mrs. Voorhees’s crappy roadside plot. But who’s paying for these graves and headstones? A scene that was scripted but never shot (but included in the novelization) reveals that Jason’s father — Elias Voorhees — has been footing the bill for the graves and the upkeep. Elias never appears on screen, but his presence is felt a few sequels down the road. It’s probably thanks to him that this supernatural stuff is happening in the first place. That whole family is an event.
Crystal Lake is no more. Because of all the murder and mayhem, it’s been renamed Forest Green. That doesn’t last, for reasons I’ll theorize about later, but despite the renaming, the story of Jason and his mom lives on. The minute Tommy identifies himself, everyone talks about What Happened Before like they’ve been listening to a “Camp Blood” podcast. Hell, one character has even invented a card game devoted to the Jason legend.
For the first time, we see children at Crystal Lake (oops!) Forest Green. Little kids, in actual danger! It warms my heart. That aspect almost reminds me of 1982’s Madman (which you guys should watch) which itself is similar to The Burning (which you guys should also watch). Matt recently reviewed both films right on this site and they are must-sees in the summer camp slasher subgenre.
Favorite moment: Jason leaning over that little girl’s bed is legit scary.
Return to Camp Blood will be back next week with two time-jumps and even more paranormal shenanigans, because at this point, the producers have nothing to lose….