BREEDERS (1986) Virginal women in New York City are being maimed and raped by an E.T. that resembles a housefly. When the alien gets the urge to mate, it takes over the body of human man only to messily break back out so it can perform an otherworldly variation of coitus. The creature leaves behind a slimy white substance that the local scientists can’t identify—and in which, in the film’s highly suggestive climax, several victims are marinated. The detective (Lance Lawmen) on the case is baffled when one of the victims (Frances Sherman) pins her rape on a gay male fashion stylist. Despite its humorous overtones, Breeders is not a comedy. That shouldn’t stop viewers from chuckling uncontrollably at the film’s negligible production accoutrement, most of which looks like it was put together for a buck seventy-five. The makeup effects (some done well by Ed French, who’s also featured in a small role) consist of lots of rubber and KY jelly, but the movie’s biggest asset is the plethora of T&A supplied by the nubile cast members. This would explain director Tim Kincaid’s other professional title as pornographer Joe Gage, maker of many landmark seventies gay porn epics. Stick with your day job, Tim.
NECROPOLIS(1986) Murdered 17th century witch Eva (LeeAnne Baker) is reincarnated in modern day New York City, where she goes about trying to bring her coven back from the dead—the process for which involves the transference of souls (here represented as a slimy substance) into the rotting corpses of Eva’s zombified servants. In between searching for victims, Eva shakes her leather-clad rump to the dreadful sounds of synthesized ’80s disco and pining for her master, the Lord of Darkness. One of Eva’s original executioners has also been reincarnated as a Serpico wannabe (Michael Conte) who’s hot on the ectoplasm trail left behind by Eva’s body count. Perhaps the worst reincarnation/supernatural slasher to feature a six-breasted Satan worshipper filmed in Jersey City.
THE STEPFORD CHILDREN (1987) The fine folks of Stepford, Connecticut are at it again in this follow-up to The Stepford Wives (1975) and Revenge of the Stepford Wives (1980). In the earlier films, it was the women of Stepford who were turned into perfect robotic housewives by their uptight husbands. This time around it’s the Stepford teens who are targeted by the Men’s Association—a group of chauvinists who prefer to see their children dressed in tweed jackets and v-neck sweaters instead of rock t-shirts and torn jeans. Barbara Eden, of I Dream of Jeannie fame, is Stepford’s newest resident, and her outspoken kids don’t mesh with the place’s obedient environment. Pretty soon any teenager exhibiting independent thought is transformed into a goody twoshoes in what’s basically a replay of the Stepford-ish Zombie High (1987). In one of the movie’s more enjoyable moments, several of the roboteens malfunction to the strange sounds of rock music during a prom night dance prank. The Stepford Children climaxes with Eden’s discovery of a Frankensteinesque laboratory where she’s attacked by a skinless, sinewy robot before her human son (Randall Batinkoff) smashes through the window on a dirt bike and saves the day by blowing the place to smithereens. Despite the destruction, Stepford was revisited in The Stepford Husbands (1996).
