Crawlspace – 1986, US, 80m. Director: David Schmoeller. Streaming: Tubi
Fear No Evil – 1981, US, 99m. Director: Frank LaLoggia. Streaming: Shudder
FleshEater – 1988, US, 89m. Director: S. William Hinzman. Streaming: N/A
The Majorettes – 1986, US, 92m. Director: S. William Hinzman. Streaming: Tubi
Primal Rage – 1988, Italy/US, 91m. Director: Vittorio Rambaldi. Streaming: AMC/Prime, Shudder
CRAWLSPACE (1986) Infamously volatile thespian, Klaus Kinski, gives a typically creepy/looney performance in this slick Charles Band-produced Hitchcock riff. The one-time Herzog muse plays Karl Gunther, a former Nazi youth and overall medical deviant who owns and maintains an apartment building occupied mostly by beautiful young women. That’s because quiet Karl likes to spy on his nubile tenants in varies stages of undress through the air ducts; he even lets rats loose in their quarters and delights in their screams of terror. When he’s not watching from a distance, Karl is playing Russian Roulette with his gun, creating diabolical devices of death, and cutting off body parts of his tenant’s lustful boyfriends. This is bad news for new arrival, Lori (Talia Balsam, Mad Men), who becomes Karl’s newest subject. Solid direction from David Schmoeller (Tourist Trap), a terrific Pino Donaggio score, and a suspenseful cat-and-mouse finale make Crawlspace a nice surprise. B
FEAR NO EVIL (1981) An overwrought mess, this directorial debut of actor Frank LaLoggia is one of the most misguided horror films of the early 1980s. Eighteen-year-old Andrew (Stefan Arngrim) has more on his mind than graduating high school and dating girls. You see, Andrew just happens to be the Antichrist and he’s been keeping his parents hostage in their dilapidated seaside house since his birth. But fear not; God’s archangel, Gabrielle, has been reborn as a beautiful teen (Kathleen Rowe McAllen) who just happens to go to Andrew’s school. When Andrew’s classmates and teachers annoy him, he uses his ever-growing powers to cause creative deaths. The movie is striving to be more than another teens-in-peril flick, but when you strip it of its pretenses it’s just an Omen rip-off, with elements taken from Carrie, The Exorcist, and Dawn of the Dead. In the end, Fear No Evil doesn’t know what it is, but it’s filled with hammy acting, long stretches of boredom, and some dismal make-up FX. It get slight points for a completely bizarre and out of nowhere homoerotic all-male nude shower sequence where the local bully (Daniel Eden), under supernatural influence, kisses Andrew in front of their peers. Also, once fully overtaken by Lucifer, why does Andrew look like Gary Glitter? D+
FLESHEATER (1988) Bill Hinzman—the original graveyard zombie from Night of the Living Dead—wrote, directed, and stars in this spirited semi-remake/tribute to the Romero classic. When a farmer unearths a satanic tomb on his property, he lets loose an ashen-faced ghoul (Hinzman) that bites a chunk out of the farmer’s neck, transforming him into a zombie. Soon the living dead multiply and take over the land, which is bad news for a group of friends celebrating Halloween in the nearby woods. In Living Dead fashion, the survivors hold up in a farmhouse and try to fend off the hungry horde, ultimately realizing you gotta shoot ’em in the head! Since FleshEater is an ’80s zombie flick, the gore runs thick and fast, with plenty of juicy flesh-ripping, a disemboweled cop, and one poor schlub who gets his head cracked open with a hatchet. Even little trick-or-treaters aren’t safe from the zombie mayhem, including Bill’s real life daughter, Heidi Hinzman. The acting is strictly amateur and Hinzman’s direction lacks punch, but in terms of nonstop zombie action, the movie delivers. Technically unimpressive, FleshEater is a fun little gore flick, but recommended only for the low-budget zombie enthusiast. Funniest scene: a man at a costume party mistakes a zombie for a guest and gets his nose bitten off. B
THE MAJORETTES (1986) The members of a high school majorette squad are being targeted by a knife-happy killer in this very mid-80s slasher/crime thriller, which is based on the book by Night of the Living Dead‘s writer, John A. Russo. Shot outside of Pittsburgh, the story centers on a handful of students from said high school whose lives are complicated by the sudden murder of their friend, who was pregnant by local drug dealer, Mace (Tom E. Desrocher). Mace, and his T-Bird-wannabe leather-clad posse, spend their days plotting revenge against the school quarterback and harassing the janitor-slash-idiot, whose mother (Denise Huot) is scheming to murder one of the majorettes and steal her inheritance. This flick juggles more subplots than it knows what to do with, which is a shame because the cast is likable and the kill scenes fairly well-executed. Inevitably, The Majorettes gets lost in a sea of confusing character arcs and unfocused story structure. This does gets points for trying to add some suspense to the mix. C+
PRIMAL RAGE (1988) Strange things are going on in the science lab at a Southern Florida university. Lorded over by the unethical Dr. Ethridge (Bo Svenson, in weird ponytail), the lab is researching restorative brain tissue by doing the usual diabolical experiments found in these types of films—in this case, a baboon infected with some kind of rage virus. When campus journalist, Frank (Mitch Watson), breaks into the lab to document Ethridge’s work, he’s bitten by the baboon and turns into a blood-oozing psychopath who spreads the virus to his date (Sarah Buxton), ad nauseam. You can see where this is going. Goody Two Shoes Sam (Patrick Lowe) seeks the help of Ethridge to stop the virus, but the good ol’ Doc just ends up getting his eye gouged out by an infected student. Oh, well. Primal Rage is so well made it’s a shame the story doesn’t live up to its potential. The script (written by Umberto Lenzi under his American alias, James Justice) borrows elements from Demons, The Evil Dead, and several zombie movies, but at its heart it feels like a typical slasher with the rage virus simply being an excuse for a gory body count. Cheryl Arutt makes a spunky Final Girl, but boyfriend and hero, Lowe, is too pompous and whiny to care about. A well-intended but somewhat lackluster Italian-made gore job. Look for Ted Raimi. C+